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Un-whole alone .........

iffybob

iffybob

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Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,858
Location
England
I put this in this area cos I think it might affect every one with MH .........

.......... I have not been in a close relationship in nearly 20 years ...
........ why is I dont feel whole as a person with out that closeness .....
...... do other people feel this .. that they feel they need another half to make them feel whole ...
.... not just anyone .. someone they can communicate, interact with .......

.......... has anyone got past this with or without finding another to fill the void ..

...... does either work .. or is the part always feel missing ...

...... to be honest .. I cant remember what not having the hole feels like any more .......
 
bubbling under

bubbling under

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May 29, 2009
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Hampshire
I feel the same bob..you are certainly not alone in feeling like this :hug:

With me it's been nearly 12 yrs since I was last in a long term relationship, since beth died. And No, I don't feel whole either. I firmly believe thats when my mh issues first started, but never really took a grip on me until nealry 2 yrs ago. Seeing other 'normal' ppl being in a relationship I find really hard and being in the company of couples is like a stab through the heart sometimes. I so want to be in that situation, but whilst I feel awkward socially because of my mh issues that will never happen :(
 
iffybob

iffybob

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I dont see it as any point of envy ... I think if others actualy have a good realtionship "good for them" ....

........ I dont feel I want what they have I want somthing of my own I think ...

... thanks for the reply BU ... :)
 
emski

emski

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Jun 15, 2008
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I've come to the realisation that no relationship has ever worked in my life because none of my boyfriends have been able to understand my problems or tolerate me when I am not well. Some have even used it against me. But then there are those that I just pushed away. I'm pretty certain I won't ever be able to make a relationship work. Or maybe Mr Right just needs to be bipolar or something too? I don't know. But it gets lonely.
 
3

300waves

New member
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May 31, 2008
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notts/derbys
single!!!!!!

Emski, i am same as you, single for 10yrs, since my daughter was born!!, she has kept me busy and on my toes (don't see father),. I am now 50, and before i had my daughter, i hated being single, i was quite desperate at times, but couldn't do the dating thing without a drink or two!!, can't remember my 20's n some of my 30's!! Well now, i would rather have a cuppa tea!!, i am just not feeling it,,,, maybe Lithium has 'killed' IT,????????
I haven't been on for a while, hope all as well as can be,,.
 
C

colourblind

Member
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Nov 13, 2009
Messages
24
Location
London
If it makes you feel any better, I am yet to have my first relationship. Don;t get me wrong I have had many close friends and get on well with most people -as long as I am in a good mood! But in terms of a relationship? I lie awake worrying that I will never get one. I am not really 'young' anymore and after over a decade of eating disorders of one sort or another my life is still suffocated by some sort of food or weight issues.

I don't even have a relationship to compare to yet I feel very alone. I don't feel less whole though. Maybe thats just my lack of experience.

I want to meet someone but going on how disgusting I feel when I look in the mirror I doubt very much anyone would want any sort of a relationship with me. I just look so fat and feel so ugly that this in itself is a big enough hurdle.
 
3

300waves

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notts/derbys
awww colourblind,,,,,,, you sound lovely,,,, do you go to any support groups?, I too have put weight on and i am reluctantly going to Portugal with bruv n family in June,, (i'll be the only fattie in the villa),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.(y)
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
I really think it's time we had a dating forum on here or something. Or something you can choose from like a status like on fb whether you are single and looking for a relationship. Some wonderful friendships have blossomed here it would be great if some partnerships could be formed too! :clap:
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Ohh i just read that back, I must say I DON'T include myself in that! I'm a very happily married woman! :D
 
emski

emski

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Jun 15, 2008
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North West
Of course, but a nice idea for those on here who would want that? Maybe do a poll?
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Well if members want to do a poll, then who am I to stop them if it doesn't break the rules? :innocent:
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
I'm not doing it, I will have to check with admin whether it is a conflict of interests! :LOL::LOL:

I think those that want to use it should start the poll, I'm a happily married lady and my poor husband might get the wrong impression if I set up a poll for that! :LOL::LOL::LOL:
 
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