C
cadivde
New member
Founding Member
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2008
- Messages
- 1
I'm new 'round here. Been enjoying browsing and lapping up the good advice and supportive atmosphere on the site and impressed by the honesty of all the inspiring users who've posted messages...
I've had voices for the last 18 months. Had horrid times in and out of hospital, sectioned several times, diagnosed as having severe depression with psychosis, in remission, not again, then finally disharged and let loose back into the voice-free, wide-world again a month ago.
Then made the mistake of deciding that I was so well and happy that I ought to be able, through sheer willpower and hardwork alone, to stay that way without medication. I didn't want to have to rely on tablets any more so I stopped taking them. Only the voices came back and the black hole gaped again...
I've caused so many people so much pain during the process of my illness that I'm having difficultly coming to terms with that. I've lied, been deceitful, hurt them and thrown their well-meant support back in their faces. And I feel weak for not being able to manage my recovery alone.
Please- can anyone help me in coming to terms with my self-reproach, help me to forgive myself, find a way of moving on and letting go of the horrid memories of this past year? I'm just tying myself in knots here...
Thanks and good luck everyone
I've had voices for the last 18 months. Had horrid times in and out of hospital, sectioned several times, diagnosed as having severe depression with psychosis, in remission, not again, then finally disharged and let loose back into the voice-free, wide-world again a month ago.
Then made the mistake of deciding that I was so well and happy that I ought to be able, through sheer willpower and hardwork alone, to stay that way without medication. I didn't want to have to rely on tablets any more so I stopped taking them. Only the voices came back and the black hole gaped again...
I've caused so many people so much pain during the process of my illness that I'm having difficultly coming to terms with that. I've lied, been deceitful, hurt them and thrown their well-meant support back in their faces. And I feel weak for not being able to manage my recovery alone.
Please- can anyone help me in coming to terms with my self-reproach, help me to forgive myself, find a way of moving on and letting go of the horrid memories of this past year? I'm just tying myself in knots here...
Thanks and good luck everyone

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