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Umm.. I didn’t realize it was this bad

A

ariesqueen

New member
Joined
Dec 24, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Louisville
As a child, I was bullied and criticized by my mother a lot and still obviously have to deal with my mother . So now, I have changed my entire life to comfort my social anxiety not realizing it’s social anxiety. I try to over come it a lot and force myself to not let it stop me but it’s still very challenging . I thought all these things were normal such as going into a public place and feeling like I can’t breathe , feeling like all my friends secretly hate me. I despise social media because I constantly feel like everybody judging me always. I go outside I feel like everybody judging the littlest shit. From the way I walk to my clothes to my whole exsistence. I just feel extremely embarrassed and rejected by little shit and Then I get into these modes where I want to disappear and just not exists bc just walking to the door is draining . But then that turns into isolation and even my friends being around me feels like they’re all lying to me that they like me and really they all think I’m dramatic. But more recently my anxiety has turned me into drinking more when I’m out at the club to cope with the fact everyone staring at me and I need to get beligerant to forget and then I have a temper so then I start fighting with people bc my social anxiety has convinced me that people hate me. Even writing this I feel like people don’t believe me. I’m just extremely exhausted , the more I ignore it the harder I fall when it hits and I’m just really trying to cope. Idk if I should get on medicine and I just want to know what works for people
 
arodi007

arodi007

Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
18
Location
Mauritius
hello and welcome to the forum, aries :)
I too felt the same way with my mother but when i told her how i feel when she say bad thing on me, she calm me down and explain to me what it really was, i feel much better after that.
It always better to ask close person why they acted like this so as to reduce or even remove your anxiety with that person but with not-close friend it another story, i really dont know how to cope with it.

I stop using social media as well after i finish university, i felt free after that, but what i really hate is when people say why i dont use social media, 'u could find a partner' etc...

There was a time when my SA was at peak, and had to go into comfort zone and like you, i couldnt even go outside or talking to people. But then 1 day i had to go to an office to register my company name, so my mom came with me and show me how to interact(i know it weird) but that help me a lot :v . After that i practice going to shop and talking to the seller. i had no issues going shop or walking on street after like 2 months.

For drinking i cant really advice on that, i mean for me i stop drinking bc my brother started a fight with my family and then we both stop drinking. But i was tempted to smoke to know if it really reduce stress but i didnt :D

I have fought with 1 of colleague(supposedly a friend) because of my SA, i got tired of being bullied and am someone who wont repel back especially in work environment. He then reported me for raising the voice against him. Our relationship was only professional then, no friendship.

Am now making my own business bc i wanted to change everything in my life. I feel much better now :v

For medication, i have no clue on it but i guess it worth trying.
 
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