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Trying to understand her depression

R

Radorix454

Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Missouri
Hello,

I do apologize if this is in the wrong section. I am basically trying to better understand my girlfriend's depression. We've known each other for 3 years. When we first met we dated for about four months, she ended things, and ever since we basically became best friends. A couple of months ago, she asked me if I would be interested in getting back together. I agreed.

She has suffered from dysthymia pretty much her entire life, as well as body dysmorphia. When we first met, she was extremely suicidal but has since gotten control over it. When her depression takes over, she pulls away, says little to nothing to me, and basically I become a target so to speak. Any little thing I do, she takes incorrectly and blasts me over. I try to not take it personally as I feel it really isn't her reacting so much as it is her depression.

Poor thing is always under stress from work and family issues. It becomes pretty much impossible for me to talk to her and it does take a pretty big toll on me. I really wish she would seek some counseling but she doesn't feel like it actually works. I can't ask her if she's doing okay because she will simply reply with "I'm fine" and get irritated with my concern. These bouts typically last anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 month and then she'll be "alright" for about a month or so. I don't want to broadcast only the negative by any means, to her credit while she won't really talk to me, she will send me pictures she has done edits on. I don't think she really realizes that she targets me when these moods hit me. In the instance of now, while she hasn't said anything, I do feel that is doubting our relationship. Which is actually a really good relationship when she's in the right mind frame. She's gone as far as to that I'm her perfect match.

I'd really like to understand if this is normal behavior or if there could be more going on. While I understand no one can really say what is normal for her, these moods even after three years, really confuse and cause me a lot of anxiety.
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
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Feb 7, 2020
Messages
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Location
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What do you mean by "is it normal behavior"? Normal for a relationship? No. Normal for depression or mental illness? Sometimes.

Even if it's "normal", it doesn't solve the problem. You're trying to have a relationship with someone who has mental health problems and refuses treatment. What do you think the chances of success are in such a situation?

A relationship that's a good relationship when someone is in the right frame of mind isn't a good relationship. That's a relationship where you will have to walk on eggshells.
 
R

Radorix454

Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Missouri
What do you mean by "is it normal behavior"? Normal for a relationship? No. Normal for depression or mental illness? Sometimes.

Even if it's "normal", it doesn't solve the problem. You're trying to have a relationship with someone who has mental health problems and refuses treatment. What do you think the chances of success are in such a situation?

A relationship that's a good relationship when someone is in the right frame of mind isn't a good relationship. That's a relationship where you will have to walk on eggshells.
Normal for depression is what I mean. I'm sorry, I probably should have clarified that a bit more.

yeah, I agree and I do realize that it's not an ideal situation as far as having a relationship with someone who ,at this point in time, refuses treatment.
 
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