• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Trying to recover - is this normal?

C

cadsaz

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
106
Location
UK
Hi guys,

I realise I need to get a grip of this AN, my BMI is 16.8 and so I've tried to start testing myself. However twice this week I've had days where I've eaten the RDA for a women, and it is freaking me out. The day after I've gone back to restricting to compensate. I'm terrified that I'm going to balloon up in weight. When I'm having a 'binge' day I enjoy the food so much e.g. chocolate and it scares me that I enjoy it. I've started taking laxatives lately as well. I know it won't do anything to get rid of the calories but I feel so guilty that I need to get to rid myself of the food because my abdomen feels bloated and stuck out. Plus the pain of the stomach cramps helps me to restrict again. I try and calm myself down by reading that people in recovery are usually on more than their RDA to get their weight up so I should be ok. I just want to maintain at this point, I need more time/therapy to make that next leap to putting on weight. Any help and advice would be much appreciated.
 
T

Topcat

Guest
I hate feeling full & bloated too. It may be easier if you plan your rda calories around eating little and often, try and avoid too much sugar (for me, sugar just makes me start to binge on crap then feel bad).
A good way of adding healthy calories is snacking on nuts/seeds. If you like peanut butter, a smoothie of milk, banana and a scoop of peanut butter is good for adding calories without feeling too filling. Also, if you're used to eating vegetables, salads etc, adding olive oil or melting butter on veg adds the call but still 'feels' light.

And best to lay off the laxatives. They do so much damage. I'm sure you know that though, but please try!

Good luck. Hope it gets easier soon.
Xx
 
speckles

speckles

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 9, 2012
Messages
1,679
Location
Uk
The laxatives are merely a psychological thing which makes you feel better but it will actually just mess up your bowel movements, alter your water in your body and increase your feelings of bloatedness, taking them will also make it hard for body to normalise your metabolism, which is your current aim,it also leads to the loss of important body salts which effect your heart - so stop. Basically as you eat a bit more, you may intially put on weight because your body metabolism is low but it will very quickly ajust to the new amount of food ans increase your metabolism and you can lose weight again and stay stable. You just have to keep going with it. Many AN do enjoy food when they eat it is not about not liking it and you are bound to appreciate some of the tastes more when you have been restricting. If you just keep going though eating a sensible amount everyday including foods that you like but might feel you shouldn't eat you won't binge. You are more likely to binge if you avoid these foods and you restrict to a low level of calories. Just keep going with it it will become easier over time.
 
C

cadsaz

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
106
Location
UK
Thanks guys. Today I can't bring myself to eat more than the bare minimum. I don't know if it's because I feel mentally exhausted from a traumatic week of pushing myself, super guilty or a physical repercussion of taking laxatives. Whatever it is I don't feel like eating. Last night I woke up drenched in sweat. Today I've felt really emotional and cried quite a bit but mostly I've just slept today. I just feel like a complete mess.
 
speckles

speckles

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 9, 2012
Messages
1,679
Location
Uk
well this is something you just have to keep working at and you will have better days and worse days, you just have to keep on working through those harder times. it takes considerable time to sort eds out, and in someways if you are trying to stop a coping mechanism you are bound to feel worse before you feel better as you have to face the issues your ed is helping you with. nevertheless it is still the best thing to do.
 
C

cadsaz

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
106
Location
UK
Thanks Speckles. I decided I was going to push myself so I've just pushed myself up to a little short of the RDA. I get this horrible feeling I'm going to balloon up and the only thing I can do to calm myself down is to think I can always go back to restricting or perhaps this binge week is what you need in order to apply the breaks for a second so you don't get referred. I know the reasoning is still warped but I suppose it's a means to an end at the moment. I read up on the night sweats and it's something to do with the metabolism revving up? So it could be not as bad and I won't put on huge amounts as my metabolism goes crazy. I feel such an emotional wreck right now. My therapist told me to go take time (sick leave) from work, but I couldn't bear it as it wouldn't help any future chances of promotion but deep down I think it's what I seriously need. I've upped the therapy sessions to do 2 as well so I hope that helps. I'm seriously in a right old muddle at the moment so you would not believe what a relief this forum is. Thank you guys. I really appreciate it xxx
 
S

Sarehh

Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2013
Messages
19
Location
England
Hey,

I can understand where you're coming from. For a year or so I was trying just not to eat, then turned bulimic which lasted for a couple of years (although i went a good few months without it, i actually have relapsed twice since December - damn christmas!). The bloating is terrifying, it can feel horrible and uncomfortable, but it's only because your stomach isn't used to eating properly. Sometimes i used to feel bloated even just after drinking a mug of tea. It does go away once you start putting yourself into a proper eating routine. But the key is not to try and push yourself too hard. Like you said, if you can't cope with doing the full RDA, set a more manageable level, with aim to increase it once you feel comfortable. Take baby steps. One thing that helped me a lot in recovery was 'ticking' in my diary each day i'd gone without throwing up. You could try it for each day you hit your own target. It's a bit of motivation as well as pleasurable to see just how far you can go! xxx
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
E Trying to recover Eating Disorders Forum 0
S Hey i'm new here and trying to recover from anorexia Eating Disorders Forum 22
JessRar Trying to Recover... Conflicted Eating Disorders Forum 3
G trying to get better? Eating Disorders Forum 2
S Trying to Understand my Family Member's Behaviour Eating Disorders Forum 2
R Trying to help myself Eating Disorders Forum 4
S Trying to beat Anorexia...Again Eating Disorders Forum 7
JessRar Trying to Up My Calories Eating Disorders Forum 6
JessRar Trying Not to Count Calories.. Eating Disorders Forum 2
D Trying to get better Eating Disorders Forum 4
S Trying to stop purging but now in a restirct/binge cycle Eating Disorders Forum 8
M Trying to get back on the wagon after falling off!! Eating Disorders Forum 2
J In recovery, but struggling :( Trying to keep focused.. Eating Disorders Forum 5
D Need Info, Trying to eat more Eating Disorders Forum 10
Jess24 why are people trying to control what i eat? Eating Disorders Forum 2
R How to find a reason to recover Eating Disorders Forum 7
P Is it ever something you recover from? Eating Disorders Forum 3
M Why did the side effects of bulimia only kicked in after I tried to recover..? Eating Disorders Forum 4
D Struggling to recover Eating Disorders Forum 4
C struggling to recover Eating Disorders Forum 5
H Recently admitted I have an ED but refusing to recover Eating Disorders Forum 2
M binge restrict recover relapse ambivalent feelings Eating Disorders Forum 1
J why can't I be normal Eating Disorders Forum 2
R Feel like I’ll never be a normal eater Eating Disorders Forum 4
P I don't feel normal but I'm in no ways underweight Eating Disorders Forum 7
F when will i be normal again? Eating Disorders Forum 2
T Is this 'normal'? Eating Disorders Forum 6
L worried why is it so scary to be normal Eating Disorders Forum 1
T too tired to act normal Eating Disorders Forum 26
ABsea why does "normal" weight feel fat? Eating Disorders Forum 19

Similar threads

Top