- Mar 9, 2019
I'm having trouble processing my guilt and anger. My bff has been upset at me and ignoring my messages most of the time. My friend has undiagnosed depression, but it's clear he has depression, as he's had thoughts of suicide. (I have tried to get him to get help, but he never does. Finally he will be seeing someone on tuesday). Yesterday I accidently planned a trip to see my sister who I havnt seen in 6 months, that will overlap with my bffs dance school performance - I forgot his performance was that week as it is months away (the trip was made that week due to very very cheap flights and time my husband could get vacation). I apologized profusely and promised to watch via facetime (keep in mind I live in another city -4 hrs away- only have one car and husband works nights...my ability to go to this specific show was prob not possible anyway...bff suggested I could've flown there - a $250 flight-...and he knows I dont have much money). But he is very angry at me now and has mostly been ignoring me. I know he has the right to be upset but I feel like he is being to hard on me, as I have never missed anything of his ever. He has missed my birthday before, constantly voiced his jealousy of my life (hes upset that he doesnt have what I have yet)....when I got engaged, when I got married, when I became pregnant (and unfortunatly I had a miscarriage recently which makes these feelings worse). Ive always been there for him, comforted him, helped him map out life plans, encouraged him to go to dance school, planned and setup birthday parties for him, include him in everything, volunteered to make costumes for his last show in Dec. and never missed any other dance performances. He has been a good friend, but does not always come through for me, but I have overlooked any hurt because he's overall a good friend and I love him...but this is causing me a lot of guilt and anger...I have vented to my sister who also has depression and she has told me to give him time and ease up on him because he has depression, but I'm having trouble easing my anger because I feel like he's placing a huge undeserved guilt trip on me. I cant even feel happy to go visit my other sister anymore. I dont think I have depression, but I have my own mental health problems, stress and anxiety and have been through a lot in the last few months. I dont mean to sound insensitive to those with depression, and if I do, I'm sorry, I just feel very hurt that all my years of support and good friendship are being tossed aside. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.