Trying to "not" think!

[hairymunky]

Tomorrow's the day for my CBT "experiment" - go for either lunch or dinner with my wife. It has to be a restaurant, and not a fast food place (where I can get the food, and get back in the relative safety of the car). Facing two of my fears tomorrow!!
My wife will be looking forward to it - getting to go out with me, like a normal couple...
I'm supposed to not think about it, and try and just do it... but tonight I've already succumbed, and am starting to panic, and feeling really sick.
Maybe I should get drunk as I feel braver then, and my anxiety seems to ebb, but then that's cheating!

Can't think how I'm meant to "not" think about it, when it happens so quickly, and then it's too late, the seed it planted ...

G

 

[GrizzlyBear]

Distract yourself with other things. I also try not to think...sometimes I fill my head with nonsense online in hopes there's no space left for worries. It works for me. Well...most of the time.

 

[hairymunky]

Trying it just now. Been learning to play flamenco, so been battering
hell out of the guitar. Good therapy, getting to put all that anxiety into
the guitar

 

[hairymunky]

I forgot.. I have the attention span of a fish! I got bored, and started to
think about the day ahead. Really dreading tomorrow, think I'll get a bit tipsy and see if that makes it a bit better.

 

[rollinat]

O what a panic's in thy breastie...

I hope your day out goes well - hope you will come back here and tell us how it went. Good luck.


Rollinat

 

[hairymunky]

Well... I survived!

Woke up at 4.30 this morning, and took ages to get back to sleep, my brain racing going over the events of the coming day. When I did get up, I felt drained, like I'd overslept for 3 days. Managed to control myself, until my wife mentioned that we should drive up to Glasgow instead. The excuses started to flow, looking for a way out. Eventually she gave, and we went into our local town instead.
Wasn't too bad in some of the "out of town" shops, as I was looking for stuff for an upcoming holdiay, but in the main shopping area, I felt real panic, every time I heard any people being loud (almost like I felt threatened) - I spent most of the time watching all the people around me, in case they were watching me(?!). I remember a young girl assistant in a shop smiling at me, and thinking maybe she was really laughing at me (a common feeling for me)
When we went to go for lunch to a pub, I started to do the usual, making excuses, dragging my heels, trying to go somewhere where we could get takeaway, but the wife wasn't having any of it, and went into the pub and left me standing like a lost lamb in the street.
Did let myself down, by sitting in the quietest corner I could find, nearest the exit. But I still did it, and managed to eat something. Did have the nervous cough, and couldn't keep still, need to try and change that.

When I came home, it was off to bed for a few hours sleep, to sleep off a mf of a migrane! It's quite tiring doing these experiments, and trying to keep up with the wife's expectations. Just hope she'll not hate me, or get angry when I have off weeks, when I just can't cope.

 

[Dollit]

What a day! And didn't you come out of it well. You're still alive and nothing major happened. The insensitivity to noise - I get that when I'm stressed out and I'm a music at full volume person. But it can overwhelm and invade to titanic proportions. I usually develop an incredibly sensitive sense of smell at the same time and that is bizarre when you bump into the someone you've smelt the trail of all round a shop.

Have you tried Mindfulness?

 

[hairymunky]

Have you tried Mindfulness?

Don't want to sound ignorant, but never heard of it. But willing to try anything that will help me lead a more sociable life.
Still feeling the after-effects of yesterday, replaying the events over and wishing I had done things differently. Today, I've been worrying myself sick,
because I'm off on holiday in a few weeks, and I'm starting to panic, because I'll be in a strange place, and amongst a sea of people. Haven't eaten all day, because I feel sick.
Been trying to think of the positive things, but always end up thinking of the negative things that I think will happen, therefore they usually do.

 

[Dollit]

Try this link which explains all about it www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness

If you want to give it a try and have iTunes you can download 10 minute podcasts for free - just search for Mindfulness.

 

[hairymunky]

Thanks Dollit

Looks like something really helpful.
Will have a better look tomorrow, absolutely knackered tonight, that was a long day

Ta

 

[rollinat]

Glad to hear that you survived the day. Hope you had a good sleep last night.

Take care.
Rollinat

 

[hairymunky]

Thanks Rollinat
Today was a right-off!!
Got myself all panicked out, thinking about going out
this weekend coming, was making me very stressed all-day, couldn't concentrate on anything.

Absolutely burned out now, heads thumping, going to try
some mindfulness tonight.

Thanks guys

 

[sallyv]

Days are where we live. They come, they wakes time and time over. They are to be happy and think of the positive things.

 

[diddypinks]

please dont get drunk i fell into that trap and have had 9 years of serious addiction problems ie when you use alcohol to deal with a anxious situation next time you do it you will sub conciousley want to do it again.