Trying to imagine a better future when all I can see is more of the past

C

Coolname

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Depression is such a liar. It tells us things will never change, it tells us the worst outcome is certain, it tells us we are not worthwhile. It tells us that our hopes are pointless fantasies. It tells us we have no options left. It tells us death is preferable to life.

I know depression is a liar but it still catches me in it's web of lies. So hard to motivate myself when I can't believe in a better future, an improved quality of life.

I am trying to remind myself that I have come so far, my quality of life has dramatically improved, that further progress and more improvements must be possible. That trying is worth it.

I am trying to remind myself that the blank wall I see ahead of me is simply the end of the corridor I have walked down. If I turn around I will see all the doors I have yet to try and all the possibilities behind them.

I am trying to remind myself that the disappointment and loss I feel about not being emotionally able to live my life in the past is no reason to write off the future.

It's hard though. I know depression is a liar but its lies are so very convincing.
 
LizBo

LizBo

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It's sad what you've written. I understand the sting of hopelessness and how invasive it can become.

I'll just say one thing; in my experience, creating a better today automatically creates a better tomorrow, one accomplishment at a time. So when you reach the future, it's just another day.

More than anything, it takes patience.

You take care lovely..
 
C

Coolname

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It's sad what you've written. I understand the sting of hopelessness and how invasive it can become.

I'll just say one thing; in my experience, creating a better today automatically creates a better tomorrow, one accomplishment at a time. So when you reach the future, it's just another day.

More than anything, it takes patience.

You take care lovely..
Thanks Liz

You take care too.
 
FindingTheMeaning

FindingTheMeaning

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Depression is such a liar. It tells us things will never change, it tells us the worst outcome is certain, it tells us we are not worthwhile. It tells us that our hopes are pointless fantasies. It tells us we have no options left. It tells us death is preferable to life.

I know depression is a liar but it still catches me in it's web of lies. So hard to motivate myself when I can't believe in a better future, an improved quality of life.

I am trying to remind myself that I have come so far, my quality of life has dramatically improved, that further progress and more improvements must be possible. That trying is worth it.

I am trying to remind myself that the blank wall I see ahead of me is simply the end of the corridor I have walked down. If I turn around I will see all the doors I have yet to try and all the possibilities behind them.

I am trying to remind myself that the disappointment and loss I feel about not being emotionally able to live my life in the past is no reason to write off the future.

It's hard though. I know depression is a liar but its lies are so very convincing.
Depression is a lie we feel like we have no choice but to believe. For me my friends and family tell me what I can't see and I can't even believe them and its terrible. I am good at my job, am smart, people enjoy spending time with me and I still want to die every waking moment. I get it. Don't feel like you have to carry that burden yourself.
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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For me moving forward was impossible becaude my past was so prevelent sometimes we must open the wounds from the past pick out all the old shit restick it up then do it again a few times what helped for me was psychology Not therapy psychology is a massive help to me the hardes thing i do in hospital but works
 
C

Coolname

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For me moving forward was impossible becaude my past was so prevelent sometimes we must open the wounds from the past pick out all the old shit restick it up then do it again a few times what helped for me was psychology Not therapy psychology is a massive help to me the hardes thing i do in hospital but works
Well said. I agree you have to open those wounds (in a controlled manner) to clean them out, heavy going but worth it.

I'm not clear on the difference between therapy and psychology?
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Well said. I agree you have to open those wounds (in a controlled manner) to clean them out, heavy going but worth it.

I'm not clear on the difference between therapy and psychology?
well based on my subjective opinion therapy i mean OT which stands for occupational therapy like talking to a friend it works for minimal things they never give you a solution just expect you to gradually come to one that is just milking money out of someone dont get me wrong if you have small problems go to a therapist anyway for it works like that for others it may be the reverse they may just need someone to talk to but with psychology that is like opening you up like a surgeon thinking about it makes me want to cry i have it tomorrow lol but it helps
 
C

Coolname

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Glad you are finding it helpful.

The OT you describe sounds like person centered counseling where you lead the conversation and the agenda and find the answers. That sort of counseling did nothing for me until I'd gone through some heavy duty NHS CBT which prepared me for some painful NHS psychotherapy (CAT). Now I am back to person centered counseling but I am using it to apply the psychotherapy techniques to all the stuff there wasn't time to address with NHS. Knowing how to make good use of the sessions and having a counselor I click with who is happy for me to turn the counseling into something else is really helping!
 

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