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Trying to fix true love?



New member
Jan 24, 2009
Recently, one of my friends broke up with his girlfriend. This was his second "major" relationship, and for reasons too complex to get into here, his girlfriend (who I was mildly friends with before this happened) is relying on me to get them back together. I suppose, in order to better understand them both, I'll give a brief summary of each.

The girlfriend, who I'll call Shannon, is 16, and highly emotional. Her parents are getting divorced, and she tells me this is because her father is in love with a childhood friend (who Shannon was apparently named after). She also claims that her father has "mildly" abused her(as in some damage to her belongings while he was intoxicated) and wholeheartedly believes that her father does not love her at all. She had one boyfriend previously, who she tells me she did not love. She also seems to resent this previous boyfriend for using her both as amusement (although they never had sex) and as status symbol. She claims that she and my friend were deeply in love. Their breakup, she claims, had no major trigger, but just a lot of small fights.

Now for my friend, who I'll refer to as Dave. A lot of what I now about his situation is based on what Shannon told me, which may not be entirely accurate. He is apparently a romantic (along with Shannon) who believes in true love and happily ever after. His first girlfriend, Rose, seems to be a realist who has stated that she doesn't believe in true love. Regardless, she does seem to like Dave. Dave liked her as well, but they never went out. Then, one of Dave's friends, Matt, met Rose, and the two of them ended up going out.

Here's where I make my first conjecture. Dave resents Rose for not returning his love and for what he sees as a betrayal.

Dave briefly went through a second relationship (which I don't know enough about to determine any effect on Dave) before going back to Rose. I'm not sure what happened to Matt, but Rose seemed more interested in Dave when he was with another girl. Rose and Dave went out for a while before breaking up (which I believe to be due to their different viewpoints on love).

Sometime after that, Dave ended up going out with Shannon. It's important to note that he knew Shannon's first boyfriend, who didn't exactly speak favorably of her after their break up, yet this didn't stop Dave from being interested in Shannon. He seems to have loved her very much (based on what Shannon has told me). After their breakup, he still hangs out with Shannon, yet refuses to talk about their relationship. He has also shown renewed interest in Rose.

So, any ideas? What interests me is why Dave broke up with Shannon, and why is he still interested in Rose after she (seemingly) rejected him? Any help is appreciated.


This isn't a really a forum that's about relationships. It's a forum about mental health and the relationships & their difficulties in that context.

If you want to know why Dave broke up with Shannon then ask him. And just because one person breaks up with another it doesn't mean that feelings are turned off by a magic switch.

You all sound fairly young - perhaps a website that is specifically designed for young people and relationships would help.


That all sounds like utter and complete rubbish to me. It's not a problem, it's childish gossip. What made you think you think you'd get serious responses to all that garble from the self respecting intelligent people on this site?
Talk about it on MSN with your school mates!