Trying soooo hard to stay motivated

[bluebell24]

Having a rough day today. Work is increasingly stressful & I want so much to do well and be as good at what I do as I used to be. Outside work I'm also struggling with 'life' ... trying to sell my old home & managing money while I do so.

I keep telling myself how far I've come the past 6 months but I am finding it so tough again on a daily basis because there's a nagging fear that too much stress will trigger an up or a down and I don't want either. I'm worrying though as my sleep patterns are becoming irregular, I feel like drinking as soon as I get in from work, smoking like a chimney & not eating properly. All bad signs but I can't seem to get a handle on it.

I miss close friendships too. Just can't talk to anyone for fear of them thinking I'm crazy or finding me too needy ... that said there's no-one I feel I can open up to either so feel a bit stuck.

Sorry, needing to get stuff off my chest but probably just sounding like a self-pitying wench!

 

[LilMissLost]

Hiya Bluebell

Sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment, i struggle with having people to talk to about how im feeling, the only people i really talk to about anything now is people on forums, iv given up with most other friends. I find it hard because im such a caring person most of the time and would do anything to help anyone but rarely find when the shoe is on the other foot, that people are there to listen and help you back!
Maybe thats why this forum in particular is so comforting because there are other people who you havent met before just trying to give you a few kind words and you know they have had their own struggles too and you feel a bit understood! And you are definetly not a self pitying wench!! do love that word though lol.

You sound like you have been doing really well, i tried looking for any older posts you may have written but me and computers some days!! Not sure if you are on any medication but if you feel like its all spiralling out of control again could you try talking to your doctor, if not then we are here to talk, take care and hope you feel bit better soon

 

[shell]

Having a rough day today. Work is increasingly stressful & I want so much to do well and be as good at what I do as I used to be. Outside work I'm also struggling with 'life' ... trying to sell my old home & managing money while I do so.

I keep telling myself how far I've come the past 6 months but I am finding it so tough again on a daily basis because there's a nagging fear that too much stress will trigger an up or a down and I don't want either. I'm worrying though as my sleep patterns are becoming irregular, I feel like drinking as soon as I get in from work, smoking like a chimney & not eating properly. All bad signs but I can't seem to get a handle on it.

I miss close friendships too. Just can't talk to anyone for fear of them thinking I'm crazy or finding me too needy ... that said there's no-one I feel I can open up to either so feel a bit stuck.

Sorry, needing to get stuff off my chest but probably just sounding like a self-pitying wench!

Sorry your having a rough time. I think your great just working. I have not been long diagnosed am on sick leave at the moment. I like you miss friends but they wouldn't understand its really hard. You can always talk to people on here that understand I know its not the same but everyone understands. Feel free to pm me anytime.

 

[Kos]

Trying to sell your home is one of the most stressful things you can go through next to divorce, so it's no wonder your feeling the strain.

I know what you mean about wanting to drink, it's hard but try not to, once the initial buzz wears off you're left feeling depressed - and that's when I have a major crying session.

If you want to talk you can always mail me - we can talk about anything to take your mind off.

Reading a book is good, but when I'm having an episode I don't have the patience to read.

You can survive this - you're a fighter!!!

 

[bluebell24]

Thanks everyone for your support. I really appreciate it. : )

I'm still unsure whether I am just suffering from the stresses and strains of life or whether I should really worry about my health. I had a massive go at my husband earlier because he had our house keys, went out for a drink and didn't answer his phone for an hour. I'm not sure whether my reaction is normal or a sign of rising irritability and an indication of something more.

Ironically my doctor was sick today so I'll have to wait and then have a proper chat.

I'm trying to just focus on one day at a time and see how it goes. I'm seriously bloody minded though and determined to get through this ... it should only be a temporary set back!