Trying not to throw two years down the drain

J

JustKeepBreathing

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2018
Messages
1
#1
Ive been clean for two years this time. I started harming when i was 12 and didnt try to stop until i was 16. It was off and on after that but it was never really that serious until my first major relapse.
Since then every time i fall back into the pit its harder to climb back out. Im 23 now and ive been really good, but im buried in 6 feet of stress again and all i want is to harm. Im afraid i wont be able to stop this time or it will go too far. I have so many reasons not to, yet i cant shake these urges. It seems like no matter how long i go without it the urges never go away. The biggest issue is i dont remember why i even bother fighting it anymore. What do i do?
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,440
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
#2
Justkeepbreathing, :welcome: to the Forum. I'm no expert, but I think you originally wanted to be free of self harm because you know it's not a compassionate way to relate to your own self. I knew a woman who did self harm since she was quite young like you. She bought a self harm workbook with questions in it that she had to answer. This workbook helped her a lot. I would think that there are a lot of useful books on the subject. I hope you'll look into this idea so you can continue to fight back.