Trying not to die alone

rookie2012

rookie2012

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Joined
Jul 27, 2015
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14
For single folks out there, just wondering, do you ever feel like your illnesses are going to be the reason youre going to be single forever?

And if you've worked out a way of curbing this feeling... please share? :panic:

I grew up with domestic abuse and was abused in a past relationship now I'm so scarred I'm certain no-one will want be because I'm afraid to even hug; and it gets me down a ton because I really want to be in love and I really want to settle down and just feel like I'm not a freak. I miss having someone close to talk to but after what he done to me I'm just too scared of things like sex or intimacy and even though I'm much better mentally, those sorts of things can trigger me off back to a dark place. I have so much love to give but it sort of feels like I'm just a rock in a field of flowers, like who would want me?

Sorry this is dumb, its gone 3am and I've been sitting here crying for hours. I want to love and be loved... but is that achievable when you're a monster?
 
neorealism

neorealism

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Jul 3, 2015
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Don't wanna be alone, too afraid of rejection. Stuck and unhappy. That's me.
Can relate to being uncomfortable by being touched or hugged so can't even imagine how I would react to intimacy.

I guess you just have to weigh up what's more uncomfortable for you - being alone or putting yourself out there again.
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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Everyone needs to be loved.
love can come in many ways it doesnt have to be just about sex.
Companionship is just as important. So what about making friends of the same sex to start with having someone just to hang out with ?
What about a pet- they can be so worthwhile having something to love that will love you back unconditional.
small steps my friend
Hugs
fox
x
 
D

daydreambeliever39

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Apr 4, 2015
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I feel this way too.

I'm still friends with my ex but that's all we ever will be. And he is my only friend. I think my mental health issues will put people off and I'll be single for the rest of my life. But what I really need is a friend. I would like a pet but my landlady isn't keen on pets and a dog is what I would like but I worry that I might not be able to look after one properly because of my OCD.

I can only come on here every so often because I don't have access to the internet at home and my ex lets me use his phone or when I am at my parents' I will use my laptop. But it is good to talk to others here and I am hoping to get a phone with the internet soon as I can now afford it. The only problem is getting a pay monthly phone is a lot cheaper than pay as you go for the internet and I have no credit rating. I don't know if you can get one without that.

I would certainly recommend coming on here for company and getting a pet as you have said. If you are a girl I can recommend my ex as he put up with my lack of desire for sex for years and my mental health problems, he is the kindest sweetest man you could meet! I'm not sure it is fair to put him through another sexless relationship, though; no offence but he went through that with me and it is time he had some love!

On the other hand, this proves there are some people out there who are caring and respectful enough to deal with these kinds of issues so don't give up yet. I think I had the only one in my town though; I've not met anyone else like that here.

But as he said to me, you never know, you might find someone like that on here? I know it's not a dating website but there are plenty of people on here who would understand your problems. I don't know if that's against the rules of this website or not.

But in the meantime we are all friends here and there are no trolls so keep in touch with us.
 
rookie2012

rookie2012

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Joined
Jul 27, 2015
Messages
14
But in the meantime we are all friends here and there are no trolls so keep in touch with us.
I'm a girl, yes. :) I'm a handful though, I'd probably make his hair fall out!

As for the pet suggestion, I have two dogs, a cat, and four snakes... I've owned rats but the last one died about two years ago, and I've owned birds too. Animal's don't really fill the hole in my heart, if that sounds too sentimental... though I love them so.

I think my age is another problem honestly; I'm 23... most people my age are out partying and meeting people that way. I'm just a hermit (but I can't help that). :(

No luck so far. Still looking for a soulmate of sorts (and I've looked in many places).
 
D

daydreambeliever39

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Apr 4, 2015
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1,447
I say there are no trolls, but have since been told it goes on.. I've never had it yet. But there was a virtual standoff between two bucks the other night there.. Just as well it wasn't in the real world. Could have been blood. But I'm sure you'll be fine.
 
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