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Trust issues

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Tabitha178

Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Messages
6
I've had trust issues for a few years now ever since my ex cheated on me several times and the trust problems have sort of stayed. I've been with my current boyfriend for nearly 2 years and my issues don't seem to be getting any better no matter how hard i try. i don't let him do anything anymore, he used to go out with his friends all the time before we got together and now he just stays in with me because i will panic too much while he's gone. and if he does go out occasionally i will be so upset or panic so much that it just causes arguments leading up to the day and then after he's come back as well. he doesn't make it better sometimes as one minute he will tell me he's fine that I'm the way i am and he knows I'm trying to get better and then the next, completely out of no where he will tell me I'm ruining his life and he's not going to hang around for ever waiting for me to get better.
we've had a massive argument today out of no where and he's told me i have to start changing massively otherwise its over and i just don't know how to get over everything

thank you

Tabitha
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
Hi Tabitha.

Trust issues are horrible aren't they. I personally find it hard to trust people which is something I am working on at the moment :)

Random question, Have you got a local shop by you, maybe around 5 or 10 minutes walk away?

I am asking because what I'm thinking is that if he is willing to work with you on this you can maybe start by trying to figure something out where each day he goes out for a simple walk. Maybe round the block and then popping out to the shop etc, increasing the time every couple of days and then introducing new barriers like halfway through the walk he meets up with a friend.

It's all about baby steps. Sometimes baby steps are needed, it may seem silly but it's a more gentle way for you.

Take care

Marliee x
 
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Rose19602

Guest
I agree with Marliebee.

Trust issues can destroy a relationship.

Your b/friend sounds like he loves you and is trying really hard to understand your issues and live within the limits they impose.....but things do need to change if this relationship is to survive and be healthy.

Marliebee's suggestions are good ones. Maybe it's worth talking some suggestions through with your b/friend and building trust using agreed arrangements between the two of you and gradually extending them.

It sounds like he wants to be supportive, but can't be "perfectly understanding" all the time. He's only human afterall. Accept that this is your problem and see if you can come up with some ideas to extend your relationship rather than continuing to limit his activities.

It can be done!
x
 
M

mistaken-identity

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
75
I don't trust anybody either. everyone just wants to hurt everyone in one way or another!
 
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lovagemuffin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
640
I think that you just need more reassurance than most I get his too but I always check with my boyfriend and he tells me to stop being daft and then its sorted again. its a betrayl of trust that has broken your trust you scared of loosing him tell him how you feel ask him to reassure you people who have been hurt need this.
 
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