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True love?

MagicJay

MagicJay

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This is my story...

Let me start with my mind set I believe one soul is broke in half in this world and your always searching for your other half to become one whole soul again. This is what I understand when people say "your soul mate", I don't know why I think this way and probably never will but anyway I'm 24 had my first girlfriend at age of 16 we were off and on for 3 years this wasn't really a relationship I cared for her but I never once told her I loved her in the 3 years because I didn't want lie when it wasn't true, also I never had sex with her so still a virgin at this point but she made me feel that low and always told me I could never do better she cheated on me many of times which I only found out after we split it properly one was a friend I used to be close to.

After this I realised why I never told her I loved her and that I don't think like many people in this world, from that moment I didn't have another girlfriend till 2 years ago I had been on dates in that time but I never felt like they were my soul mate so I never carried on with them.

So then I met my ex 2 years ago from the moment I met her I knew she was the one, I finally found my soul mate, we went on dates I told her about my problems and I told her I had fell in love with her and how I think after 3 which was pretty soon I know but no one else ever made me feel this way love so overwhelming, we started going out I gave her my first time we was doing great for the first 12 month she was really insecure because all her exs cheated on her but I told her every single day how much I loved her and I can't even look at another women because she's the one but didn't believe me, after 12 month she started becoming depressed I was trying be there for her but it felt like nothing I did was good enough, her insecurity's got even worse we could go out in public because she thought I was looking at other women because they were better than her which I made clear I wasn't and in my eyes no one could ever be better than her, she tried controlling all parts of my life or forcing me in situations where I had chose between something and her so she could feel good about her self.

I started not been able cope any more my problems started getting worse again which made our life's hell, everyday we would argue she would sit there all day and night crying taking it all out on me, my problems started making me snap at her and been really nasty after I would feel such horrific guilt and tell her how sorry I was but both of ours problems were conflicting just making the whole situation worse. We both tried acting like we were fine which worked for a month or 2 then it went wrong again, we both knew how much we love each other but we were just making each other so much worse I ended up getting just has depressed has her so, we had breaks but one of us would just keep contracting the other but I saw how much worse I was making her and that was killing me more than been without her.

The last time we saw each other we cuddled all night spoke about our situation, we knew how bad everything was how much hell we been through together she been just has messed up has me, that what I would get from the other half my soul. I told her for both of us to get better we needed stop contacting each other, she said she understood it just hurts too much living without me I told her I know how it feels because I have to live with the same pain, I told her there never going be another woman to replace her its always going be her because I only believe in one love and she was it, she is my soul mate and if we are better in the future fate might bring us back together, she for the first time actually said she believed what I was saying and felt the same way.

I guess now I destined to forever be alone unless we are united in the future or maybe none of how I think is real and I'm just going move and be like the rest of the world, as it stands now my believes are still strong but who knows. Does anyone else believe in one true love?
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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In a word, no.

I felt like that when I was early twenties. I think it is part of grieving the relationship.

Just my opinion, others may disagree. Am sorry you are having such a hard time of it though, can remember your previous posts about this relationship, I know it's hard :hug:
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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I think it's really difficult when the pain of a relationship ending is still so raw to really see things in an unbiased way.
When you have loved someone and you have to part, it can feel devastating and it's easy to think you'll never find another person again.

Personally, no, I don't believe in a one true love.
But as you do, what I might say is that perhaps this girl wasn't your soul mate at all? Maybe you are yet to meet your 'over half'?
 
MagicJay

MagicJay

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Konoha
I think it's really difficult when the pain of a relationship ending is still so raw to really see things in an unbiased way.
When you have loved someone and you have to part, it can feel devastating and it's easy to think you'll never find another person again.

Personally, no, I don't believe in a one true love.
But as you do, what I might say is that perhaps this girl wasn't your soul mate at all? Maybe you are yet to meet your 'over half'?
Maybe your both correct maybe all this time I just been thinking about it wrong, I don't understand this world has it is and feel like I don't belong here, my mind is messing with me lately a lot keeps bringing random bad stuff that happened to me in the past small and big, guess I just hoped something good was in this world.

Am sorry if I was too blunt! :sorry::hug1:
No you wasn't I was asking your opinion I respect that you told me yours and not something I just wanted to hear. :)
 
Jaminacaranda

Jaminacaranda

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Let me start with my mind set I believe one soul is broke in half in this world and your always searching for your other half to become one whole soul again. This is what I understand when people say "your soul mate"
I mean no offence but people say a load of crap and you don't have to subscribe to it. Seriously, forget the 'unique soul-mate' trap. It's a lie. Try reading Erich Fromm's 'The Art of Loving'. It's not a sex manual - it's about the concept of love and its many manifestations. It's my Bible.

You will love again. If you can love someone once, you can love another person. Yes, there are a few blessed people who meet someone in their youth and fall in love and feel committed to that one person for the whole of their lives and manage to achieve that but honestly...how many? A blessed few. Stop chasing that unattainable ideal. Choose carefully who you love and then love the one you're with.
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

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I agree with your mindset about soulmate.

I agree with one true love, but i feel in this situation it is you, you are your one true love for the time being.

So much compassion for you x
 
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