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Triggers?

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balancekeeper

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Hi, ive been told that i need to work out what my triggers are, but to be honest i have no idea. sometimes im streesed, received bad news or just life getting me down in total. But there are other times when im calm, but have the urge to SH, i tried to fight it, but it doesnt go. then i crumple and SH.

My real problem is when i SH calm, inside i feel cold, empty but SH is the only thing that helps/ However it doesnt help for long.

Sorry if ive ranted and it doesnt make sense. Just Trying to get it out.

Anyone have any light to shine on this would be good? Possible triggers? Have had the same Experience with the empty/calm SH?
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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No you haven't ranted and it makes sense to me. :)

Triggers are a funny one in general. I suppose you've got to try, if you can, to observe your thoughts and what goes on for you when you decide to self-harm.
At what point does feeling low or stressed become too much for you and drive you to do it?

Are there any feelings in particular that you associate with self-harm?
For example, some people find it's guilt or shame - they need to punish themselves.
Some people find it's feeling out of their bodies - they self-harm to ground.
For others it's feeling unheard, and so self-harm is a way of communicating your inner-pain.

For me I think it was a combination of the above. It's been over three years since I stopped, but I can definite remember a feeling of punishing myself but also it was anger that I felt unable to release in a healthy way.
 
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balancekeeper

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Well thats the thing, i try to idenify why im doing it but i find that hard.

When i SH I get a feeling of release and calm. Only lasts afew minutes so sometimes i have to do it 3 to 4 times aday. which has become i little bit of a problem. I do wonder if im addicted to SH? But for the feeling i think its the release that i do it for most.

Except when im calm Sh, Then i dont know why i have the urge to, but its a strong urge, thats why i wondered if anyone has had this too. It scares me sometimes. And because im not sure why i have the urge i dont know how to fight it. But when i do SH in this state i do feel better afterwards
 
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Gajolene

Gajolene

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Triggers can be memories of something bad from your past, they can be anything that puts you into a state of anxiety and fear, they can be smells, certain locations, physical contact with certain people, or even certain items, feeling on your skin, which in essence make you feel compelled to do something irrational like run from a safe situation but feel completely terrified and compelled to do so. Triggers can be something that makes you think obsessively about something upsetting to you, and you feel you can't stop thinking unless you do something drastic like self harm, or isolate, or run away, or fight unexpectadly, triggers can make you feel terror, can make you feel rage, can destroy your self worth, and confidence, can drive you into dark depression and feeling completely anxious about everything, triggers can cause OCD behaviour as well. Triggers can be caused by stress of excessive pressure and expectations of family, school, or work as well.
Unfortunately different people are triggered in different ways and by different things, sometimes it takes a lot to find out what these triggers are, in people like myself with PTSD the causes of the triggers can have been buried subconsciously for many years, and it take a lot of hard work, delving deep within yourself to find the answers, as to what the triggers are and the causes of them are even with the help of your therapist/psychologist. Writing out lists, journalling could help you identify some of your triggers. Hope this helps a bit.
 
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balancekeeper

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Thank you, that helps alittle.

Hopefully if there is anyone out there who has felt the Calm SH they will post? Its the thing that i dont understand most, Im not worked up just the urge to SH is there without any trigger And SH helps too, just dont understand how, when im already calm.

Is there anyone whos gone through this?
 

MarlieeB

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Hey :)

Triggers can be horrible to try and figure out. I know some of mine but there are others that I can't quite get my head around.

I'm one of those people who don't really get triggered by seeing or hearing of any sh specifics at all while a lot of other people are, I can read anything and not be bothered about it. People think that if one person is triggered by something others will be and then they think something won't trigger you because it doesn't trigger others but do trigger you. It's a weird thing, our minds.

My three main triggers are Rejection, Abandonment (the first two can be classed as the same thing but for me it is different) and Failure. Those are the three things that will send me crashing before you say crash.

I also get triggered by reading of any kind of Animal deaths and other people crying but not so much.

I know there are other triggers I have but can't quite figure them all out and likely never will.

I mostly self harm to have that release and calmness. The problem with me is that I also use it to punish myself and once I started I can go weeks of doing nothing but it and then go months without even thinking about it.

I hope that helps, even a little bit?

Marliee x
 
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Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

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I'm not much help on this one - I have absolutely no idea what my triggers are! I mean really no clue, I can be and usually am as calm as a cucumber, not angry, no rage sometimes not even sad - just comes out of the blue!
 
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balancekeeper

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I'm not much help on this one - I have absolutely no idea what my triggers are! I mean really no clue, I can be and usually am as calm as a cucumber, not angry, no rage sometimes not even sad - just comes out of the blue!
Thats what if feels like with me. just calm and then get the urge.

Thank you, now i know im not the only one who has this calm SH
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

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I think there's a stereotype that will a do it in a blind rage, when in fact not all of us do x
 
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balancekeeper

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I wasnt sure if most people just did it in a bad emotional state or that others did it calmly... Theres not really much info about it floating around to get a sense of normal SH. Guess its just something that most people prefer to Ignore and seek secret
 

MarlieeB

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There have been a couple of times that I have done it when I have actually felt ok in myself. They were also the times I didn't know I was doing it until I was.
 
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