Well-known member
Apr 14, 2019
Here everyone, so I went to group therapy today and because everyone was stressed and talking about there problems.... now I’m stressed. Hearing what everyone said about “toxic” people in their lives, it really got me questioning. For example, I have a lot going on with my boyfriend. I am always telling him every thought that comes to my mind, to see if he’ll get upset over it. I don’t want him to be upset, but I just always am scared for that outcome, so I have to know right then and there. Like I’m engaged to him, and sometimes I wonder how I’ll be with him when we live together. I always have ROCD thoughts. I know there ROCD thoughts because they upset and scare me. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend in any way. Plus I don’t want to loose him, I want to keep him in my life. I don’t like feeling this way, and I hate being triggered to feel this way. Does anyone have any tips on dealing with this stuff? I’m always fearful that because I feel this way and I have fears, I have to leave him because if that. I get scared to think what if our relationship is toxic 😔 I really do love him, and I want to stay with him. Can anyone help me with dealing with this, or have any tips. Let me know.


May 18, 2019
Olympia, Washington
You seem to know that they're ROCD thoughts and not your actual opinion, which is a major plus. The fact that you've said you don't want to lose him and that you love him explicitly is a huge win. And the fact that the thoughts scare you does indeed indicate that they're not your reinforced opinions. It sounds to me like they are intrusions--that is, intrusive thoughts that are cycling through over and over...just my opinion. Sorry you're going through this tough time. I had forgotten how hellish OCD was, after a brief period of relief from it, until I started having ROCD.


Active member
May 7, 2019
One quick tip that helps me immensely when I'm working with my OCD is something I first learned when I was learning CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) If you haven't already, try the following and see if it helps:

1. As soon as that intrusive thought or worry or obsession comes into your mind, identify it quickly and then picture yourself slamming a huge door in front of it.

2. Imagine shutting the thought out. Picture it in your mind, feel the momentum of you swinging that door in the OCD's face. Feel the air, the strength of you shutting that door.

This does multiple things. First, it is an important first step in beginning to move away from the obsession or intrusive thought into behaviors that will distract you and ultimately drown out that thought.

Second, it restores control to YOU, the person, and not your OCD, by invalidating it and reminding yourself that your brain knows it's not real and that the thought is totally illogical and silly even.

Of course the OCD may continue to try to trick you, but the more you do behaviors like this, relabel the OCD for what it is, and then take active steps to distract yourself, you will slowly notice the intensity of the OCD fade. Persistence is key, and dont give up when you backtrack it is totally normal. Get back up and come right back at that OCD swinging. The fact you can identify it is a huge win.

I hope this helps. Do you have anything you know distracts you that you like doing?