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TRIGGER WARNING talk of self harm, being suicidal, sexual abuse and rape

doomsayers

doomsayers

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hi guys im sorry for the past few days. I didnt think it would affect others but it has.
all i want to do is self harm and feel very suicidal. The voices are saying do it you have to die tonight
i got sexually abused by my dad and raped. .i have Borderline personality. I attempted last night.Im so sorry. I hate myself
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Hi @doomsayers. Please try to seek some help. I know it's hard, I know what this feels like and have BPD as well. There are people here who get it and want to help you get through this. But if you're doing this self harm, if you're even thinking about it, you need to reach out for professional help. These feelings are intense, but they do pass. Do you know any DBT skills to help you get through this? I am actually going to use the distraction skill, just going to watch a TV show, binge on it, virtually w someone else over in the UK. It helps to know others who get it. It's never the answer to harm yourself due to this pain. You don't need to resort to that. I'm so sorry you're feeling this bad.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
mischief

mischief

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hi guys im sorry for the past few days. I didnt think it would affect others but it has.
all i want to do is self harm and feel very suicidal. The voices are saying do it you have to die tonight
It doesn't mean you have to do what they say. Why don't you tell them you are in charge and that you'd like some peace.

i got sexually abused by my dad and raped. .i have Borderline personality. I attempted last night.Im so sorry. I hate myself
Perhaps you could call the Rape Crisis helpline? They are available until 9.30 pm on 0808 802 9999.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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I'm all for figuring out the psychology of voices much like Rufus May is (a big name in the world of voice hearing).

For the duration of this post I shall take my Safety Team hat off and put the hat of someone with lived experience of voices firmly on.

I believe my voice is like my twin brother but a brother that shares my body with me, I believe we were born together to the same parents and grew up together but I didn't become aware of him until I was almost 36 years old, prior to that he was hiding in the back of my mind watching, learning and influencing my decisions by giving me thoughts, ideas and impulses that I used to believe were entirely my own.

He's not very well adjusted to being what he is, which I believe is a passenger in someone else's body, in fact he's pretty angry at this arrangement so he's incredibly jealous of me for being the driver of the body. He thinks me and the world owe him for this great injustice.

When he first made his presence known to me he started to fully explore the extent of his influence and control over me which was scarily immense. He then proceeded to play a sick game of 'Guess Who?', was he people in the world talking to me telepathically, was he something else like God or the Devil or many other things he tried to pass himself off as.

But he made many mistakes and long story short I eventually decided he must reside within me and always has done but was hiding from me for most of my life. I also decided that each and every person on the planet were the same and came in pairs.

So now I think I know who he is I can study him and create a profile of him. Our experiences are more or less exactly the same but we unfortunately don't think or act alike, he's a sociopath and a psychopath with no regard for human life where as I'm compassionate and caring. For someone who's done nothing but observe me my whole life my intelligence hasn't rubbed off on him. Compared to me he could be considered to be a much lower being than I am. He acts like a spoiled child that wants everything but is willing to give nothing in return.

Now I haven't known you long but if I were to apply my theory of voices to your situation and think about the psychology of your voice/passenger/sister I would say she's scared and is suffering from the experience of abuse just like you are and she's decided the only way to stop the pain is to die, but she can't do it alone, she has to convince you to do it for the both of you, she's being terrible to you to make your life as miserable as possible in the hopes you'll do the job for her, she speaks using the voice of your father in an attempt to get to you even more than if she were to use her own natural voice.

If I could speak to your voice/sister I would first apologise for what she's been through, nobody should suffer in the way you and doomsayers have especially at the hands of someone who was supposed to care for you and protect you. I would then appeal to her to please reconsider the path she has chosen, death isn't the only answer, there is help out there, it's not easy to find but we'll help you with that as much as we possibly can. Your sister doomsayers can be your greatest ally and you hers, I always tell voice hearers that their voices can be their greatest friend or worst enemy and if you choose to be friends then the rewards can be endless. I believe nature intended us to be the best of friends with each other and support each other as we go through life.

Now feel free to consider me mad if you choose to, many before you have but there have also been plenty of people who see merit in what I have to say.
 
Z

Zoe1

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no need to apologise doomsayers

thats what we are here for


:hug:
 
Z

Zoe1

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hi doomsayers how is it going today ?

:grouphug:
 

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