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**TRIGGER**Enjoying self harm?

Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Messages
569
Ive self harmed for about 7 years now, it started when I was depressed or angry I would self harm, then I stopped for a year or so, got my BPD diagnosis and ended up starting again.

Now I seem to find Im triggering myself, just to I can self harm, I appear to feeling 'happy' or 'neutral' but will still self harm, I find Im promising myself if I do things i.e. find a job... I can self harm as a reward... is this normal o_O
 
worrymuffin

worrymuffin

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Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
293
Location
UK
There's is no way to define "normal" because we're all different.... But I don't think self harm as a reward is necessarily healthy.
Could you try flicking elastic bands on your skin, so you get the physical burn / pain without the scarring.
I just worry that if you sh even when you're happy, it takes away the realisation that it's not a good thing.

Stay well, please try different things to express different emotions.... I get that sh is a good relief of.negative pain/hurt/anger etc....
 
Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

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Jun 15, 2012
Messages
569
I know self harm isn't healthy... I just don't know, nothing else works it has to be self harm...
Its hard to explain, I enjoy inflicting pain, on myself and sometimes others... I feel a bit. crazy.
 
WelshPixie

WelshPixie

Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2012
Messages
10
Not Alone

dont feel crazy. I sh'ed a few days ago when i was not in my normal frantic sh state and ot was an unusual experiance. You're not alone :)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Catwoman

Catwoman

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Joined
Dec 1, 2012
Messages
56
Location
Uk
I don't have any answers as this is something I am doing everyday atm.
 
shaky

shaky

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Joined
Sep 2, 2009
Messages
7,600
Location
Warwickshire
It's sad I guess, but there are times when I find SH is the best thing in my life

It doesn't always happen when I'm down.
Sometimes when I'm feeling good.

When I feel like it I try to think of the danger it puts me in
Usually it's OK, if the equipment is clean, and your hands are clean, and you've everything clean

But if you get an infection.....

Best to avoid it if you can



Not that I'm a saint.
I'm on the verge at the moment myself.
Feeling REALLY tempted.
 
Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

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Joined
Jun 15, 2012
Messages
569
Its defintely a weird feeling.

I however have started self harming due to depression again.... going backwards
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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Jun 12, 2010
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We have some stickied threads which members contribute their own alternatives, for when temptation is high. Have a look

Please read this too.
 
L

loopy-lin

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2013
Messages
2
Location
Blackpool uk
Hi i have been sh'ing for 5 yrs now due to depression and other things that has been happening in my life...and i get alot of bad thoughts n that triggers me to sh, aswell i to recently sh and feel like i need to sh all the time no matter how much i try and distract myself weather it going for walks watching tv dvd ect i does'nt take my mind of my thoughts and sh...i feel low in myself n really down all the time.
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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Hi loopy lin, :welcome: to the forums too
 
L

looneylenny

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
151
ive done exactly the same thing
find reasons to self harm
trigger myself so i want to self harm
use it as a reward

your not the only one x
 
P

Puppykin25

New member
Joined
May 19, 2013
Messages
3
Ok I know I'm late to reply/write on here, but I was going through and saw this, and would like go say thank god I'm not alone... I will self harm if I'm not feeling good (stressed,angry etc) but then I'll do it if I'm happy (sometimes atleast) but ill come up with some reason to justify why I did it, like 'I shouldn't be happy, because I'm a bad person' or something like that so I'll self harm. But I'll trigger myself so I self harm, I've used self harm as a reward before.
And yes... I know I'm crazy
 
calypso

calypso

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Jan 5, 2011
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43,412
Location
Lancashire
Hiya Puppykin, would you like to start a new thread of your own? that would get more responses I suspect.

:welcome: to the forum xxxx
 
D

DreamKisserrr

Well-known member
Joined
May 27, 2013
Messages
80
I know how u feel I too enjoy SHing it takes all my anxiety away and makes me feel like I'm in a different world if u want to talk about it I'm here
 
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