**TRIGGER**Enjoying self harm?

Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

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#1
Ive self harmed for about 7 years now, it started when I was depressed or angry I would self harm, then I stopped for a year or so, got my BPD diagnosis and ended up starting again.

Now I seem to find Im triggering myself, just to I can self harm, I appear to feeling 'happy' or 'neutral' but will still self harm, I find Im promising myself if I do things i.e. find a job... I can self harm as a reward... is this normal o_O
 
worrymuffin

worrymuffin

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#2
There's is no way to define "normal" because we're all different.... But I don't think self harm as a reward is necessarily healthy.
Could you try flicking elastic bands on your skin, so you get the physical burn / pain without the scarring.
I just worry that if you sh even when you're happy, it takes away the realisation that it's not a good thing.

Stay well, please try different things to express different emotions.... I get that sh is a good relief of.negative pain/hurt/anger etc....
 
Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

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#3
I know self harm isn't healthy... I just don't know, nothing else works it has to be self harm...
Its hard to explain, I enjoy inflicting pain, on myself and sometimes others... I feel a bit. crazy.
 
WelshPixie

WelshPixie

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#4
Not Alone

dont feel crazy. I sh'ed a few days ago when i was not in my normal frantic sh state and ot was an unusual experiance. You're not alone :)
 
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Catwoman

Catwoman

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#5
I don't have any answers as this is something I am doing everyday atm.
 
shaky

shaky

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#6
It's sad I guess, but there are times when I find SH is the best thing in my life

It doesn't always happen when I'm down.
Sometimes when I'm feeling good.

When I feel like it I try to think of the danger it puts me in
Usually it's OK, if the equipment is clean, and your hands are clean, and you've everything clean

But if you get an infection.....

Best to avoid it if you can



Not that I'm a saint.
I'm on the verge at the moment myself.
Feeling REALLY tempted.
 
Hayyyleyyy

Hayyyleyyy

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#7
Its defintely a weird feeling.

I however have started self harming due to depression again.... going backwards
 
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loopy-lin

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#9
Hi i have been sh'ing for 5 yrs now due to depression and other things that has been happening in my life...and i get alot of bad thoughts n that triggers me to sh, aswell i to recently sh and feel like i need to sh all the time no matter how much i try and distract myself weather it going for walks watching tv dvd ect i does'nt take my mind of my thoughts and sh...i feel low in myself n really down all the time.
 
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looneylenny

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#11
ive done exactly the same thing
find reasons to self harm
trigger myself so i want to self harm
use it as a reward

your not the only one x
 
P

Puppykin25

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May 19, 2013
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#12
Ok I know I'm late to reply/write on here, but I was going through and saw this, and would like go say thank god I'm not alone... I will self harm if I'm not feeling good (stressed,angry etc) but then I'll do it if I'm happy (sometimes atleast) but ill come up with some reason to justify why I did it, like 'I shouldn't be happy, because I'm a bad person' or something like that so I'll self harm. But I'll trigger myself so I self harm, I've used self harm as a reward before.
And yes... I know I'm crazy
 
calypso

calypso

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#13
Hiya Puppykin, would you like to start a new thread of your own? that would get more responses I suspect.

:welcome: to the forum xxxx
 
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DreamKisserrr

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May 27, 2013
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#14
I know how u feel I too enjoy SHing it takes all my anxiety away and makes me feel like I'm in a different world if u want to talk about it I'm here
 

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