• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Treating sons differently, financially. Am I being over-sensitive?



I am a single man, living alone, with no kids, always had a modest job income. Financially I am very secure, with two properties which are mortgage free and have savings bringing in a second income.

I have always been careful with money and have never had expensive taste when buying things. I also have a very good final salary pension with my job, whereas my brother has none.

My older brother, who is married to his second wife, lives with her, his daughter and stepson and earns double my work income. The father of his stepson makes no financial contribution at all.

My brother was provided with the same financial support from our parents as I, but several years ago spent much of a lump sum he received on going out and non-essential things for him and his friends. Obviously he is more sensible now and has more commitments. Yes, he lets a property out also. His higher work income does not compensate for his extra costs.

I have always been the lower earner, but because I am single and saved more, am financially better off.

My parents are planning on providing us with another lump sum, but this time have said that the amount going towards my brother would be more than double, given that he has kids, still paying a mortgage and ultimately as grandparents, it is their priority to make sure the kids are well catered for. I fully understand their importance to make sure the kids have a good start.

Am I being over-sensitive? Is it understandable and perhaps the norm for parents to provide a child who has their own family with greater financial help than one who doesn't?


Don't think of the money as going to your brother, think of it as going to the kids. Your parents have more relatives than they did when they last dolled out money to you and your brother, of course you will get less.


Jun 20, 2015
To be honest it is not as if you are struggling financially and need the money,you have two mortgage free homes and enough savings to provide a second income and you have no dependents so it makes sense to give your brother more from your parents point of view.Think of it as you helping out your younger brother and your nephews/nieces.It won't make a difference to the quality of your life in the long run will it?Just be grateful for whatever your parents give you,it should be you looking after them now!
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Poopy Doll People 6
Similar threads
My sons visit