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Traveling to see my grandmother



Active member
Feb 6, 2019
I have not been back home since 1994. My adult daughter was a 9 month old when we went. Home is west coast in the US, I live on the east coast.

My grandmother had a major stroke last year. Luckily she recognized what was happening, called 911 during the actual stroke, and they got her to a hospital in the stroke time frame. However during the few months it became obvious that the stroke triggered some form of dementia or cognitive impairment similar to dementia. It is pretty mild right now, from what I have been told, but there is extreme emotion and at least a couple of delusional states.

She went into the hospital on Saturday, and the news is getting worse and worse. My dad said on Monday that they are going to re-evaluate today, but the doctor's gut feeling on Monday was that they will likely be talking hospice. A couple of days ago she had a bad delusion, thinking it was all an insurance scam and medication was poison and she was being held prisoner, my dad was in on it, and that either my sister, my cousins or I would be coming to get her out. Later on she apologized, recognizing she thought wrong.

I have the money this time to get a plane ticket home for myself and my daughter, we leave Monday. Because I haven't traveled in so long, I don't want to say anything in case something goes wrong and I get everyone's hopes up, only to tear them down. But I know I likely shouldn't just walk into the hospital room with no notice. How much advance notice should I give? Right after takeoff on the first flight, which is early afternoon the day before for them? When I'm about to land on the second flight, late evening the day before? The airport is about 4 hours away, call when I leave the hotel?

My mom died 3 months ago, but I hadn't received the extra money yet so I had no means to go then, so it will be double, double surprising and shocking I'm there this time.
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Jun 13, 2015
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
I'm sorry about your mom passing a few months ago. My mom also passed a few months ago. I would give them all advance notice that you are coming, as soon as possible. Not something to procrastinate. Enjoy your precious time with your Grandmother.