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alone and lost

New member
Sep 14, 2009

im not quite sure how to start, this is the first time i have been on. im not very good about talkin about my problems. Recently i hve become a very closed up person and find it hard to talk to people.

Im 20 years old, i have been suffering from depression for about 6 years now and it jus seems to be gettin worse. About 3 n a half years ago i started smokin weed to escape from reality. I keep tryin to give up but then get fed up and start smoking again.

I think my depression got worse when i was 15 and my parents split up. I had a lot to cope with a lot as my mum went through a very bad time and i was the one to hold everything together. my mum has had a very bad effect on me, she has been in abusive relationships since my dad left and im always the one left to pick the peices up.

Ive been in a few bad relationships myself. i got involved with a married man wen i was 17 and ive nevr been the same again. I was so young and didnt realise it was all a game to him. he destroyed me. It took me a long time to recover from that. i think being with him has effected any relationships i have had after. I find it hard to trust men now.

I feel trapped and dont know how to make myself feel better. i cant turn to anyone as i dont like to bother people with my problems but if i dont do something now about the way im feeling im goin to lose my mind. i suffer from very bad anxiety attacks and get very nervous when im around people.

Ive lost contact with a lot of my friends now and dont go out much. Since i started smokin weed i usually come home lock myself in my room and get high. I have cut down a lot and hopefully will stop smoking soon. Ive been to the doctors, he prescribed me 30mg mirtazapine, im not very sure about anti depressants but i am plannin to try them to see if they help.

Any comments or advice would be much appreciated.


Well-known member
Aug 3, 2009
:welcome: to the forums, you're not alone and lost anymore, you have a forum full of people, with a vast array of experiences, who will try and help and support.:)


Well-known member
Aug 16, 2009
hi there. sounds like you've had a hard time. i hope you get lots of support and advice on the forum - i'm sure you will.

make sure you look after yourself and remember to always respect yourself.
take it easy.


Hi and :welcome: to the forum!
I hope you find this site as friendly and supportive as I have. :)


Sep 16, 2009
Yorkshire, England
Hi alone and lost. I've just joined here as well.

My view is that things can never be worse or better than they are in the moment, but can always be improved.

If you are receiving medical advice to take medication then I would think it's probably worth a try and see if it improves things and helps to put you in a position where you can begin to put things back together again in a positive way and then not need the medication any more.

Maybe you'll get some other advice in the forums here.

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