- Dec 21, 2018
I have been I therapy for the last 6 years and almost from the beginning felt strong feelings for my therapist (shes female and so am I and no I'm not gay). I recognized it as transference from the beginning but didn't feel safe telling her. Shes noticed it somewhat over the years as shes talked to me before about us not being able to be friends - it was more a blunt statement on her end that we cant be friends to which I assured her I didn't want friendship, which I didnt. My feelings were different but I couldnt Express them. I've finally gotten to the point where I felt I could be open and honest with her about my feelings. At first I told her I felt I needed to stop therapy because I had feelings for her that bothered me and she said ok. Then I asked her if we could work through this issue first because I have major trust issues and she is the only one I trust enough to discuss this with. She said it would be more appropriate for me to see another therapist and gave me some names for referral. I feel so shamed by my feelings now and rejected for being open and honest. I can't follow though with another therapist because now I know I can't be open and honest with them fully without being shamed for how I feel. Where did I go wrong. From what I've read on transference this is something that should be worked out with the therapist but mine dumped me. Now what?