• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Toxic thoughts stemmed from my own insecurities

  • Thread starter Charlie Patterson
  • Start date
C

Charlie Patterson

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
69
Location
Bournemouth, Dorset
Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing okay. Whatever you're going through know that I may not know you but I am rooting for you. As of recently, I've been kinda stuck in a dilemma of my own, really it's something I've been dealing with all my life and now this is the first time I'm really announcing it. So here it goes.

I find that I tend to compare myself to other people, sometimes to the smallest of things. Be it I get intimidated by their talents, their social skills, how successful and far they are in their mental health journey and ofcourse the big and obvious ones Iike their academic success and financial status etc.
I find this self-comparison to be entirely subconscious, I absolutely hate these thoughts, I want my friends to win, I want their dreams to come true, even if they do take off before mine do. But whenever great things happen to my friends my mind is seemingly fed with toxic thoughts of self-comparison and a self-conscious urge to be better than them. I promise I don't choose to have these thoughts, like I hate them so so so much, I want everyone to win, to be happy, whether you're a friend or a stranger. But my subconscious mind just seemingly wants me to compete in a competition that doesn't exist and it angers me so much. Man I sound like a crazy person 😅

Thanks for taking the time to read, I wish you all the best on your mental health journeys, and I want you to win! Have a good day :)
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,779
Location
Canada
Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing okay. Whatever you're going through know that I may not know you but I am rooting for you. As of recently, I've been kinda stuck in a dilemma of my own, really it's something I've been dealing with all my life and now this is the first time I'm really announcing it. So here it goes.

I find that I tend to compare myself to other people, sometimes to the smallest of things. Be it I get intimidated by their talents, their social skills, how successful and far they are in their mental health journey and ofcourse the big and obvious ones Iike their academic success and financial status etc.
I find this self-comparison to be entirely subconscious, I absolutely hate these thoughts, I want my friends to win, I want their dreams to come true, even if they do take off before mine do. But whenever great things happen to my friends my mind is seemingly fed with toxic thoughts of self-comparison and a self-conscious urge to be better than them. I promise I don't choose to have these thoughts, like I hate them so so so much, I want everyone to win, to be happy, whether you're a friend or a stranger. But my subconscious mind just seemingly wants me to compete in a competition that doesn't exist and it angers me so much. Man I sound like a crazy person 😅

Thanks for taking the time to read, I wish you all the best on your mental health journeys, and I want you to win! Have a good day :)
power based thinking instead of love based thinking
 
L

lifecangetbetter

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
661
Location
California
Man I know how you feel. I was thinking about comparison and jealousy a lot lately. I think a healthy amount of comparison and jealousy is good, it brought you to where you're at today and keeps you pushing yourself even further to do better. After all, it is survival of the fittest. But when it becomes unhealthy is when we develop an inferiority complex. I personally have one and hold EVERYONE in higher regard than me. So its best just to remember that everyone keeps the bad stuff hidden from everyone else
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,467
Location
Canada
Isn't this something most people do? From a young age we learn to compare ourselves to others. We might see siblings or classmates receive praise from parents or teachers because they did well in something. And we see it throughout our lives, all the time, some are doing well, others are not. If we're envious this can make us bitter. I think envy runs strong through us because we're so well-trained in comparing ourselves to others.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
G Toxic family members Mental Health Experiences 5
U Toxic Parents Mental Health Experiences 3
jajingna What is toxic shame? Mental Health Experiences 6
Sam1305 I'm scared my family might be toxic Mental Health Experiences 1
IttyBittyKitty Is my family toxic or is it me? Mental Health Experiences 5
K Toxic Families That Scapegoat Mental Health Experiences 12
B Why do people say you are toxic for not being perfect? Mental Health Experiences 7
Sloshiceangel I was mentally abused by a classmate *TRIGGER WARNING* *SUICIDICAL THOUGHTS IS MENTIONED* Mental Health Experiences 3
L Major intrusive thoughts today... Mental Health Experiences 1
L My intrusive thoughts are getting really bad again Mental Health Experiences 1
Anime-Alchemy Thoughts and feelings about schizophrenia Mental Health Experiences 5
O Weird thoughts and actions Mental Health Experiences 9
J Thoughts about my funeral Mental Health Experiences 2
Mr Oreo Bunny Intrusive thoughts causing little movements. Advice? Mental Health Experiences 2
S Making jokes of intrusive thoughts Mental Health Experiences 19
R Thought life would be easier, intrusive thoughts Mental Health Experiences 2
Weeewooow beep Whirlpool thoughts Mental Health Experiences 1
wraziel pokemon intrusive thoughts are scaring me Mental Health Experiences 3
M I keep having thoughts about running away and going missing Mental Health Experiences 5
L Having intrusive thoughts again Mental Health Experiences 2
T Habit of hiding emotion and negative thoughts from others does not go away Mental Health Experiences 8
Y Intrusive thoughts Mental Health Experiences 11
blog15 thoughts can be an advantage. Mental Health Experiences 2
C Dark thoughts Mental Health Experiences 4
reb_kbold Violent Thoughts Mental Health Experiences 5
D Having obsessive thoughts about having to leave psychotherapy Mental Health Experiences 3
T Suicidal thoughts almost every day Mental Health Experiences 6
G weird intrusive thoughts Mental Health Experiences 2

Similar threads

Top