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Toxic Bosses

4EVRHSP

4EVRHSP

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 11, 2019
Messages
64
Location
...
Recently I quit a job which was making me extremely ill and depressed. I only lasted for a month which is such a short stint but I'm glad to have gone. The only thing is, I keep having intrusive thoughts of "You're weak for leaving, anyone else who is normal would have stayed".

This belief is eating me up inside and i find myself constantly looking for closure that what i did was the right thing to do and not the WEAK thing. Lots of people in the media and in life say that you need to put your mental health first and I agree, especially for people in this forum like me. But then other people think you're not strong, not fit for the real world and just a general whiney windbag.

The worst thing is that you kind of gaslight yourself. You ask yourself things like, "Was I actually the one to blame?",
"Maybe I was too sensitive about things". But then how can coming home everyday crying, feeling super negative and unappreciated be normal? There were so many trips home feeling really dragged down, sad and just crap about who i am and my life.

My boss made me feel stupid, unappreciated, condescended against and unheard all the time. She said very rude things to me like " young people have no patience" that I "never listened" and at the exit interview even attacked me for not having any friends. This is so unprofessional and proves that my boss stooped so low just to have a go at me.

The worst thing is the ambiguity. Some people say I shouldn't put such a short stint on a resume but then it looks like i've done nothing for three months which simply isn't true. It's so hard for people like me to have a proper career track record. And it's so hard proving to people that you are always out to be co-operative, easy going and just NORMAL when bad things seem to follow you everywhere.

What are your experiences with toxic bosses and how did you guys get through it?
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
Gee I can relate a lot to this post . this most likely is a pattern in your life and like all patterns in life they have to be faced before they can change.

At the moment I am around someone who has a toxic behaviour and I am having to face it and not buckle, not because I am strong but because I have no choice. That is where life can take you eventually when you ignore the difficulties- in my life anyway.

No one can make you feel stupid – its your reaction to what others say to you for instance if you play it back in your head constantly then that can ‘make you ….’

The best way out of this quagmire is through self knowledge. That way you start to build a stronger inner core. Best not to look to others as they and me indeed are all flawed.

Anyway with one boss I told him to go look for the item he was incensed about lol I was so chuffing angry at his attitude …bl**dy mind reader I am not. And do you know what he respected me after that.
 
honeybadger

honeybadger

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Mar 6, 2019
Messages
173
Location
US West Coast
The challenge is not becoming one. Humans are complicated whether they're employee or employer. The solution is easy...leave unhealthy employment.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
was it helpful though? i did a lot of personal development and self taught myself also about stuff around assertiveness and not giving away my personal power to muppets lol!
 
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