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Tough day

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ZechariahElijah

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It should have a good day. I took the day off to spend with my kids. Started off well, but I wore out really fast. Just normal life stuff and noise is more than I can handle. I’m tired of having tough days. Why do my kids only get the worn out me?
 
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2Much2Feel

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Yeah, the "should have's" tend to not help us, right? I know as a mom, I feel this ALL THE TIME, however. So many people are breaking b/c of all the "should have's" esp right now w everything going on, it's too much. So I do it all the time, I'd be a hypocrite giving any advice. It's really hard to have kids w MH issues, though they do get us through and help us to focus on something else, but we end up being so hard on ourselves, constantly measuring ourselves according to whatever "normal" or "perfect" or whatever is. We are all feeling particularly burnt out lately, hard to be there for anyone when feeling like this. I hear you and I'm sorry. We are doing the best we can, need to be easier on ourselves. But it super hard. So that's my great advice (lol)...
 
Z

ZechariahElijah

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Yeah, the "should have's" tend to not help us, right? I know as a mom, I feel this ALL THE TIME, however. So many people are breaking b/c of all the "should have's" esp right now w everything going on, it's too much. So I do it all the time, I'd be a hypocrite giving any advice. It's really hard to have kids w MH issues, though they do get us through and help us to focus on something else, but we end up being so hard on ourselves, constantly measuring ourselves according to whatever "normal" or "perfect" or whatever is. We are all feeling particularly burnt out lately, hard to be there for anyone when feeling like this. I hear you and I'm sorry. We are doing the best we can, need to be easier on ourselves. But it super hard. So that's my great advice (lol)...
Thanks! I hear you. I know you're right. It's just hard. I guess maybe I shouldn't have had any expectations for today. It had it's good moments. I need to accept those moments as a gift (to learn from Henri Nouwen).
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Thanks! I hear you. I know you're right. It's just hard. I guess maybe I shouldn't have had any expectations for today. It had it's good moments. I need to accept those moments as a gift (to learn from Henri Nouwen).
Yeah. I heard a quote recently that was "was it a bad day, or was it a bad 5 minutes?" and could relate to that, although often it's longer than 5 minutes. But I'll look into Henri Nouwen, interested. They are a gift, and they grow up so fast. I get really down on myself, feel at my worst, when I think about all the time I've wasted in my son's life, the moments I've missed out on, w depression and anxiety issues. But that does neither of us any good, when we're down on ourselves it only makes us less available to them. It's hard to not feel that way, my ex always has so much energy to ski, boating, whatever, and I feel like the "boring one" who never is up to it. But we're still here, and that's a lot. They know you love them, and that's everything.
 
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ZechariahElijah

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Yeah. I heard a quote recently that was "was it a bad day, or was it a bad 5 minutes?" and could relate to that, although often it's longer than 5 minutes. But I'll look into Henri Nouwen, interested. They are a gift, and they grow up so fast. I get really down on myself, feel at my worst, when I think about all the time I've wasted in my son's life, the moments I've missed out on, w depression and anxiety issues. But that does neither of us any good, when we're down on ourselves it only makes us less available to them. It's hard to not feel that way, my ex always has so much energy to ski, boating, whatever, and I feel like the "boring one" who never is up to it. But we're still here, and that's a lot. They know you love them, and that's everything.
Yes, it’s hard not to think about the moments we’ve missed or the ways we’ve messed up. My wife always reminds me to show myself grace. And she’s right.

I highly recommend Henri Nouwen’s book Turn My Mourning Into Dancing. Disclaimer: he was a devout Roman Catholic and his works are deeply religious.

Thanks for listening to me! It definitely helped. I feel what you are going through as well
 
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2Much2Feel

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Yes, it’s hard not to think about the moments we’ve missed or the ways we’ve messed up. My wife always reminds me to show myself grace. And she’s right.

I highly recommend Henri Nouwen’s book Turn My Mourning Into Dancing. Disclaimer: he was a devout Roman Catholic and his works are deeply religious.

Thanks for listening to me! It definitely helped. I feel what you are going through as well
Thank you for the book to look into :) I am a dysfunctional Catholic, not a devout one, so it will hopefully work!
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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Mar 1, 2021
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Thanks! I hear you. I know you're right. It's just hard. I guess maybe I shouldn't have had any expectations for today. It had it's good moments. I need to accept those moments as a gift (to learn from Henri Nouwen).
Those good moments are a gift to your kids too. My dad was very quiet. It didn't matter. I just loved spending time with him. His presence made me feel happy.

I am tired a lot too and get frustrated that it gets in the way. It seems to not bother my son.

Anyway focus on the good moments. I guess that is also self advice that I need to take too :)
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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It should have a good day. I took the day off to spend with my kids. Started off well, but I wore out really fast. Just normal life stuff and noise is more than I can handle. I’m tired of having tough days. Why do my kids only get the worn out me?
I’m sure your kids love you just the way you are. xo, j
 
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ZechariahElijah

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Thanks everyone! You are all spot on. I know my kids appreciate every every moment we spend together. I know I’m making a difference in their lives, and they make a huge difference in mine. It’s hard to see that in the midst of a tough day. I just need to keep being reminded.
 
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