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too socially awkward to work at my job

M

markn1996

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
49
Location
Toledo, Ohio
i been at this job for a year now and i can’t
really connect with people that well and struggle to socialize.
my supervisor is a woman and a nutcase so she takes advantage of my shyness and goes off on me whenever she likes, lately though i think she has been toning down herself a little cause people who worked there for 30 years are going to the HR office and complaining about her, but yet nothing of course will happen to her. but thats for another story.

im beginning to take some herbal medicine for stress relief to promote more calmness (don’t know what it really does for socially anxiety) for mostly the nervousness of coming in to work each to start talking and to cope with the fact that i am slowly deteriorating from being single at 24 never having any relationship so i can atleast have some emotional support, makes problems even worse...

but speaking of that, my **** of a boss recently fired this co-worker i liked talking to and she made me feel like actually coming into work each day and it was kinda fun and now i am kinda bummed out that shes gone cause this is the first time i actually felt that desired by a woman. because in the beginning she would always wave to me, say i looked 14 to 16, and she revealed to me that she was flirting with me the whole time and she thought i was “really cute” and that she liked that i was shy and kept to myself and i was just thinking myself “wow, this gives me a confidence boost and makes me feel special” but she really wasn’t my type so i just wanted to gain experience flirting for the first time but now it’s back to square one and i can’t even do that now thats it all thrown out the window.

she wasn’t necessarily ugly but just had ugly traits that i just can’t over look though. very aggressive, bi-sexual, makes people feel uncomfortable with sexual jokes, and shes one of those hippie rock and roller tomboy types. she has asked me if i would sleep with her but got scared and turned it down and now she doesn’t even text me after she got fired, even though i tell her i wanna remain flirty friends and told her i would make out with her. thing is with my religion im afraid of hell fire and STDS as well cause she has been with multiple guys she admitted, and... she also has 5 kids so no, but at the same time i really do want the sex badly so its just a frustrating issue for me.

but enough of that as i went waaay off topic. i just want to know how everyone else copes at a job with social phobia? any good supplements or medicine you recommend to take to get through the day? it just really sucks for people like me. to me its either choosing cancer or death.

cancer - dealing with horrible crazy bosses.

death - basically being on the streets homeless.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,705
Location
Canada
Yeah it's tough. I'm really introverted and I was a teacher. My social anxiety was an obstacle at times, even just making small talk and such. Mostly I just did my classes, and otherwise kept to myself quietly, and when the school day was done I was happy to be alone in my room for the most part.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Oct 28, 2020
Messages
276
Location
The Netherlands
I feel you. My first job lasted 1,5 years before I crashed into depression and drowned in my social anxiety.
Never had a paid job since.
Maybe try some medication, some SSRI'S target social anxiety. They never worked for me though.
I am relaxter since I take Seroquel but I wouldn't recommend that to anyone without bipolar disorder or psychosis.
You could try therapy. Maybe a short course to get more self confidence and learn how to be more assertive.
All the best.
 
hicks

hicks

Well-known member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
2,723
Location
A galaxy, far far away..
Yeah it's tough. I'm really introverted and I was a teacher. My social anxiety was an obstacle at times, even just making small talk and such. Mostly I just did my classes, and otherwise kept to myself quietly, and when the school day was done I was happy to be alone in my room for the most part.
What did you teach? Probably stating the obvious, but I don't think teaching is an ideal job for an introvert. I thought about it at one point, but decided it would be completely wrong for my personality type.
 
M

markn1996

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
49
Location
Toledo, Ohio
wanted to do a update about another silly issue i been dealing with at work that gives me even more anxiety attacks and paranoia.

so i have changed my first name cause i thought it was too embarrassing for me cause i am white and not a foreigner (but my dad was) and i didn’t legally change it, but i get nervous having to use my real name (which is abdallah) and so i haven’t took a vacation yet it because of that, and because i don’t even want to talk to my supervisor that’s how much i despise this person. what i have to do is fill out a slip for vacation request.

now i have read somewhere online where its not actually the employers business unless you are signing tax papers for example and wanted to know how anyone else knew how this works?

i actually had no issue so far whatsoever as of late and i been working here a year. i have filled out papers without my legal name and it says it on my timecard (but its not in the system) i just get embarrassed and have social anxiety because everyone knows my
real name.

i know it’s totally stupid and irrelevant, and that nobody is losing any sleep over it, but once 2 months back my supervisor pulled me aside cause i had to fill out pointless papers for life insurance and they got confused by my name, i was brought up into the cafeteria area where i was waiting for a guy that partners with the company to go over it with me and a older lady accompanied him comes upstairs, and she looks at her clipboard of list of names and she gives me sort of weird look like “ok....” and she crosses out my legal name with a pen and wrote “mark” which made me cringe and wanted to run out the room.
 
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