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Too scared to go to the toilet

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Garret

New member
Joined
May 11, 2010
Messages
3
Hi there!

My case is a little wired: I feel shy to go pooh.
I get embarrassed if someone is nearby, one or two rooms next to the resting room, at so hight degree that I can't pooh also when I feel super-hard I need to. My unconscious makes me get stuck if someone can hear noises from the toilet blow or something, I think.

This is true both at my place and in public ones. The only way I succeed to use the toilet is wait till late in the night, when everyone sleeps.

Moreover, this creates gigantic anxious (paranoid thoughts such as "Jeez, I am going to X for three weeks, will I be able to pooh? How can I handle with this??") and force me to revise my plans (turn down camping holiday proposals, skip classes in order to go to the toilet while my parents are at work...).


I know this is totally insane, but I really want to fix this!
Could you guys please show me the way? Every suggestion is extremely appreciated. Thanks in advance!!
 
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coraline1664

Guest
I know what those sorts of anxieties are like, I used to have the problem of being scared to go to the loo full stop when people were around even just for a wee. For a long while I relied on some noise in the bathroom (leaving taps running, although a huge waste of water) just in case someone was outside the bathroom waiting or was somewhere where they could hear, to relax me enough to be able to go. That then moved to being embarrassed to cough in public where I would be in so much discomfort but would hold the cough in even if it made my eyes water. Same with an anxiety about my stomach rumbling and when i was in a room with other people in silence, I would feel so anxious and distressed, the more anxious I got about it the less able I would be able to deal with an at most mildly embarrassing situation. I felt like I was going to pass out.

Evenutally I just decided that enough was enough and I shouldn't be ashamed of having normal bodily functions, or of any of those other things. Everyone goes to the loo and people are as little tuned in you going to the loo as you are to them. No-one's really paying attention.
I understand that there is a difference between knowing something is fine and feeling fine about it but it does help.

Hope these things cause you less stress in the future!

Liz
 
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skath

Member
Joined
May 12, 2010
Messages
7
Location
Minnesota
Try hypnotism

In case the direct method isn't working, maybe hypnotism would help find the nature of the problem. My experience is that it helps to find the originating problematic experience, and then you can "re-parent" yourself, in the way Liz is suggesting, with new messages that it's really fine to have bodily functions etc.
 
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Garret

New member
Joined
May 11, 2010
Messages
3
Evenutally I just decided that enough was enough and I shouldn't be ashamed of having normal bodily functions, or of any of those other things.
Thank you very much, Liz, for sharing your experience.
I've learned that I should intentionally stretch myself a little, dare to move out of my comfort zone and eventually I should be able to archive a result.

If you have anything else to add, please let me know! That would be really helpful to me.



Try hypnotism? What is it exactly? Sounds scary...
 
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SadieOlivia

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2010
Messages
3
Location
uk
I have a similar issue about using the toilet around anyone. It's got to the point where i stress out about needing the bathroom while I'm out so much that I end up with diarrhoea right before I leave the house and it's so embarrassing but I don't know how to stop it. I bail on my friends a lot, cant stay over anywhere, have issues lettin people into my house or going anywhere new.

I'm in a relationship with a great guy and I would like to be able to have him stay over, or stay over at his, or even GO to his place. I can't drive though and it's 2 buses away from my parents house which is 2 buses more than I'm comfortable with. It's been over 6 months and he hasn't even seen me in less than a strap top and shorts. I know I have self esteem issues from a previous relationship and privacy issues with my parents that make things more complicated. The walls are thin in this house and I assume that if i can hear them they can hear me, which doesnt help with the bathroom issues either.

The doctor prescribed yoga for me when I mentioned my anxiety to her. I haven't mentioned the bathroom issues being a major part of it because I was too embarrassed. She also told me to tense my muscles and relax them one by one. This seems a little pointless as they're already tense and I dont have the presence of mind to start doing yoga when I feel panicky. She wouldn't even talk through the idea of anti depressants or therapies with me because I was too young for either in her opinion. I was 19 at the time, I'd been fighting it on my own for a year and half, and since then I've made some progress on my own. But now I feel as though I'm slipping. I'm finding myself panicking about going places I've been before, work is becoming more and more difficult, it's that time of year where my friends want to start going out for halloween and birthdays and eventually christmas. I don't want to keep letting people down but I have no idea where to start. I just need some suggestions, maybe some things that have worked for other people?
 
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lespaulman01

Active member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
31
Location
England, UK
Ahh this is such a true thing for me! Not so much for pooing but weeing in a public place is a nightmare. i got shy bladder so a night out on the town with a lot of drinkin causes me quite a discomfort lol. Could u do it if u flushed the toilet as u go? I used to do this, or lay some toilet roll in loo b4 u go. I always go at work and luckily i work in an all male environment so they certainly dont hide their toilet noises lol i kinda got desensitised and it isnt a problem for me anymore. Hope i culd have been of some help and good luck :)
 
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rivergypsy

Active member
Joined
Oct 21, 2010
Messages
43
Location
Leicestershire
I feel like this too.
I went on a really long train journey, which I couldn't do now as I've developed agoraphobia, and desperately needed a poo but was too frightened to go. Then it got nearer and nearer my stop and I was frightened to go in case I missed my stop, so I hung on and hung on and eventually got to my station.
By this time I was desperate and had to go for fear of pooing myself. I got to the loo and there was a really long queue. Finally I got to the toilet, couldn't get my jeans down, struggled, then hooray, got my arse on the loo and exploded with all sorts of embarrassing farty, pooey noises to the whole bathroom tittering and laughing at me. BUT at least I didn't poo myself.
 
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coraline1664

Guest
Evenutally I just decided that enough was enough and I shouldn't be ashamed of having normal bodily functions, or of any of those other things.
Just to say that I didn't mean to make it sound as quick and easy as that. It is simple- but not easy! I know that it takes time to teach yourself to see things in a different way, but it is possible! :)
 
Raina Walks

Raina Walks

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2011
Messages
2,400
Hi,

I went through something similar in my late teens...I still tend to want to use the loo when nobody is around ... my sister uses the loo with the door open and so does my niece...they don,t care if you hear noises or smell things...they just don't care....they are free that way...I usually close the door when I see them doing that.

I now don't worry about noises but I bring a purse size air freshener spray so that i don,t leave the toilet feeling embarassed if I have to do a number 2...that became my solution to that problem. Once I had to in a public washroom and when someone walked in and I had sprayed she said how wonderful the room smelled...I pick fruity sprays...

interesting topic...I can remember working in a convent and going to washroom after washroom just to be sure there was nobody around before I could relax and do what comes naturally...
 
Boris

Boris

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 20, 2010
Messages
1,325
Location
UK
Most people avoid hanging round bathrooms, or s*** houses, due to their very nature :p Who would want to endure that smell, or take an active interest in someone`s toilet needs? :p Do your worst, and if you find someone hanging around outside, either they`re desperate, or you`ve got problems, but not of the sort that you`re anxious about ;-) :p
 
nutri

nutri

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Joined
Jan 11, 2011
Messages
1,154
Location
UK
Most people avoid hanging round bathrooms, or s*** houses, due to their very nature
I note that you say "Most people"
implying that some people do hang round bathrooms, or s*** houses
theres always some weirdos huh
 
nutri

nutri

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Joined
Jan 11, 2011
Messages
1,154
Location
UK
I believe that farting loudly in s*** houses is no longer a crime

whats the worst that can happen?

Do you have a problem starting a relationship?
ie who is first to break the ice
or wind, in this case?
 
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emmapk92

Active member
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
29
Location
Jacksonville, Florida
I understand what you guys are saying completely. I wont even pee in a public restroom where there are people around. One tip is that if you have to go in public, choose a place that is less busy and has single bathrooms with locks. For example, I know in the US all the Dunkin Donuts have good bathrooms to use: clean, private, quiet, etc. I can't even go #2 when my boyfriend is in the house, unless the shower is running. I'm just paranoid and have really bad anxiety, but its also because he is OCD and thinks that makes me dirty. Between the two, taking a crap is hell.
 
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Jules78

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 13, 2011
Messages
308
Location
Bournemouth
I can relate to this!! My friends have even joked about my issues when we were on a caravanning holiday together for a week, I just couldn't go and I became more and more bloated and in pain!

I still can't go in other bathrooms unless it's my own!! So I think you're not alone I think this is very common!!

Not sure how to remedy it!?
 
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Stuey

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 17, 2011
Messages
468
Location
England-Bloody-Bloody-England!
I have to sit down to take a piss, but for a different reason, not anxiety, although I think every guy has experienced a bit of 'shy bladder' syndrome at some time. However, I have to sit down, beccause of the meds I take, unless I've had fifteen pints of 'whatever, I have to sit down, because, my prostate hasn't got the strength to push it out, normally! Try and sit down on a toilet seat that loads have guys have used to piss all over, lovely!

Seriously, for any guy, don't just assume, it's a nervous thing, it could be a prostate problem, it's rare, but worth mentioning!!!

Stuey,
 

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