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Too much time together = anxiety?

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Guy773

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Joined
Apr 11, 2015
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2
My girlfriend of 6 months becomes anxious if we spend too many days in a row together. We seem to run into the same problem ever six weeks, we space more time, things go great and then back to the same problem too much time together. Is this really anxiety? She takes doctor prescription meds for panic attacks on a regular basis to help her at work to avoid a panic attack. I don't mind giving her her space but I think she needs to be the one in control of cutting off time together bc I obviously keep missing the signs until it's too late. Then next I know she in the middle of anxiety that she can't control or get free from. She becomes very anxious and becomes an emotionally unhappy person. The hardest part is she can't pinpoint anything that brings it on, and then we're both unhappy. Bc she becomes so distant and unhappy but it's so gradual that it's very hard to see its happened until after the fact. When things are good they're great, we agree its the best relationship we both ever had besides these lows, (we're in our mid 30s). She has a very busy life w her kids and her job. I get that she is busy and go with the flow of whatever her day is. Things are going great for approximately 6 weeks and bam out of the blue we have this problem. She says she feels like we're both getting a bad deal when it happens but she can't control it. So we're thinking of calling it quits. I don't want that at all but today we both agree we can't keep going through this, it's not good for either of us. I feel worse for her, it last for days. I feel confused and hurt and so does she. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
 
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Unique1

Unique1

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Jan 27, 2015
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Hi guy773

Can understand both of you feeling frustrated about this. It does seem such a shame to split up when it sounds like a lot of things about your relationship together are good.
I'm sorry I don't have the answers, just wanted you to know I read your post, and also to say have you tried any form of counselling/therapy together, I'm sure there must be reasons why this happens on a regular basis and if you could find out more about it and why it happens, then maybe you could both learn to manage it and it could work for you both.
I wish you well and hope you find some peace.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Sep 29, 2013
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Well, I do think you're right that she needs to be in control of when you need to spend time apart, it is her anxiety that is triggering these things. Perhaps she can spend some time with a counsellor or therapist to help identify triggers and warning signs, so that rather than hitting the critical phase and making you both unhappy, she can signal that she needs a quick break? Or you could try regular breaks every so often?

Not quite sure what else to suggest but I wish you both the best of luck and peace and happiness.
 
G

Guy773

New member
Joined
Apr 11, 2015
Messages
2
Thank you both for your kind words. I do think some professional help is needed. I fear she is opposed bc they may try to prescribe meds and she's completely against it. So I'm afraid she won't be willing to try any sort of counseling. I think it's easier for her to end 6 months than try a new path. I'm against meds myself for her unless they truly needed. I believe we could try an alternate route but we would need professional help for that too. It's a real shame because I'm in love with her and tHoughton we had what it took to be together for many years to come. Thank you again for your responses.

I'm still wondering how to find out if it's anxiety or if it's just a failing relationship?
 
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