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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

TODAY

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DELATEXT

Guest
TODAY WAS IN THE GRIP OF THE MOST AWFUL DEPRESSION.
HEARING THE CHORUS TELL ME I;M USELESS, NO GOOD ETC,
MY GIRL FRIEND IS ALSO ILL BUT HAS BEEN PILING ON THE PRESSURE, UNWITTINGLY, SHE'S GOES N'T REALISE
FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE,
MY SUPPORT WORKER SAID SHE IS BEING SELFISH ??
WE WERE GOING TO MOVE IN TOGETHER AND AFTER ARRANGING EVERYTHING SHE HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK AND THE WHOLE THING DERAILED !
NOW SHE WANTS TO DO IT AGAIN BUT I DO NOT THINK I COULD HANDLE IT ??
MY DOCTOR IS AGAINST IT, SAYING I'M TO FRAGILE, AND AS IT IS MY GIRL FRIEND IS WITH ME 95 % OF THE TIME,
I LOVE HER SO MUCH BUT IF WE TRIED AGAIN AND SHE CANCELED AGAIN I COULD NOT COPE ???
ANY THOUGHTS WOULD BE WELCOME ??

:scared::scared:
 
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greenstar

Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
16
Hi Delatext

Could you maybe both arrange to wait for a while and set a later time to talk about moving in together again? Maybe take a month or a few months to enjoy seeing each other and spending time together, do nice things together, be on each other's side and have a break from the worries of planning a big move. A bit of unpressured time together might make things feel less like you have to decide now or never, and maybe you could both treat it as something to look forward to a bit later.

Might not be the way either or both of you prefer to do things of course, you just sound like you're feeling like you have to make big plans immediately and I know when I'm feeling like that I keep going over the same things in my head and end up not really getting anywhere except in a big tangle! Hope you can find a way that will make you both happy.
 
Kate4

Kate4

Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
23
Hi Delatext
Maybe the best thing to do when things start to get out of control is just to stop, rest and think it all out again.

If living seperately is less stressful then, for the time being at least, that should be the thing to do. You sound happy with your relationship so to coin a phrase - if it aint broke - don't try to fix it.

I wish you and your girlfriend well

Kate
 
D

DELATEXT

Guest
Thanks

Thanks, mulling things over and trying very hard to relax and cope !!!


:unsure::grouphug:
 
lal10

lal10

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
133
Location
Cheshire
Hi Delatext

I moved under pressure at the wrong time and after my GP had advised me not to and although I love my home and in many respects am glad I am here I have nearly lost it due to not being able to cope. Would it have been any different if I had waited? who can say? But if staying where you are now is not going to be a massive problem to you then it may be wise to wait until the dust has settled and you are sure you can handle it. I was going to struggle whether I stayed at home or moved, I was living in a granny flat at my parents house which my brother usually lived in but he kept coming home at 2am, 3am, 4am after a few drinks and having a go at me for being there, sometimes with a few mates to back him up, when I was at rock bottom anyway plus I had my parents on my back all the time too saying 'get up, move yourself, stop being a lazy waste of space etc' so getting a place of my own again seemed like the only option at the time. In hindsight I know I would have coped better with the move if I was feeling better but how would that have happened staying where I was??

I agree with greenstar and kate, take a bit of time to get yourself into a more positive place as surely that will make the end result easier on both of you.

Whatever you decide we're always here to support you, and I sincerely hope you get everything sorted.

Best wishes

Lal
xx
 
M

maudikie

Guest
maudikie

:)Moving house is a stressful business. I should take your doctor's advice, and at least wait until you are both settled enough in your decission forit to take place without hassle. See each other and get to knoe each other better.
If your parents hassle you about being lazy, are they aware of your condition? You could get them some leaflets to read and perhaps they would then undeerstand you a bit better. It is hard for your parents as well. especially if they don't understand.
Take care:)
 

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