Today has been my worst day in probably years...

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George10111

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273
#1
Ok so I woke up and felt great. Everything went fantastic the first half of the day and I was really energetic and in a great mood. Then I got five pieces of horrible news which I'm not going to share, about my personal life. I am in ruins now. I just don't know if I can do it. I'm breaking down and sobbing right now and I literally never cry. Its like my own personal natural disaster leaving me utterly destitute of hope. ); I honestly feel like my own God hates me. I climbed the ladder up and fell down and farther below where I even started. I"ve been off my normal meds for about a week now and was doing fine and I guess hearing the bad news I heard was what really took the case to make me realize I cannot afford to go off medication right now. I mean I'm not trying to sound like a poor me pitty cat but I am also having serious sucidal thoughts and I haven't for awhile now. When will life cut me a break and when will people in my damn life stop being so fucking prejudice and judgmental. I am so FUCKING DONE. SO FUCKING GODAMN DONE!!!
 
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George10111

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#2
Nothing good I do ever matters and ever counts, only the bad I do. I'm starting to really think I'm a terrible person who must be punished instead of rewarded. I am reaching out please help me. I'm so sick of being humiliated. I'm so sick of being small and petty. Again I am reaching out because nothing else and nobody else can help me.
 
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George10111

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#4
I'm not kidding when I say today is going to really leave a mark of trauma. My whole world came crashing down and the worst part was I was doing so well just barely in the morning. I was so ahead and It'd been such a great week. I was happy most of the time. I can't live like this anymore. I literally cannot. If nothing gets better I have to die.
 
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George10111

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#5
Hell has taken a big heaping shit into my soul
 
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George10111

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#7
I feel like I might have hit a critical point and I may not be able to return to the way I was before. I am a 26 year old man for hell's sakes and I never cry much at all and pretty much can always have my shit together but I have completely fallen apart. I had an utterly humiliating experience today, my parents found out about something they weren't supposed to find out about, it wasn't bad but its very personal, I am a wreck financially so I can't leave their house so I have to deal with them and I am just a mess right now.
 
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OCDguy

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#8
Sometimes it helps to talk, is there anything we can do to help :hug:
 
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George10111

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#9
I just got another piece of bad news pertaining to the other crap. I don't even know where to begin. Maybe it takes me losing all hope for me to finally blow my self out of this world… But life wants to keep me alive so it can keep hurting me more and more so it throws me false segments of hope...
 
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George10111

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Jul 7, 2017
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#10
I'll be back in a few hours. I need to let my head get on a little straighter so I can think more rationally
 
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