Ok so I woke up and felt great. Everything went fantastic the first half of the day and I was really energetic and in a great mood. Then I got five pieces of horrible news which I'm not going to share, about my personal life. I am in ruins now. I just don't know if I can do it. I'm breaking down and sobbing right now and I literally never cry. Its like my own personal natural disaster leaving me utterly destitute of hope. ); I honestly feel like my own God hates me. I climbed the ladder up and fell down and farther below where I even started. I"ve been off my normal meds for about a week now and was doing fine and I guess hearing the bad news I heard was what really took the case to make me realize I cannot afford to go off medication right now. I mean I'm not trying to sound like a poor me pitty cat but I am also having serious sucidal thoughts and I haven't for awhile now. When will life cut me a break and when will people in my damn life stop being so fucking prejudice and judgmental. I am so FUCKING DONE. SO FUCKING GODAMN DONE!!!