To those it may concern

[RatViper]

Hi again those that know me, and hi to anyone new here I haven't chatted to yet.

Yes I dissapeared off the forums again Didn't mean to, it just happened.

So what's new with me? Well the last few months have been very up and down, some good times but mainly bad times.

Last week though I finally realised that my voices are just my own thoughts and arguing/blocking/etc was just doing it to myself so was never gonna work. Sure, it's a hard thing to accept but accept it I have, and I've accepted lots of other things too which are too numerous to mention right now.

The end result has been that I'm feeling pretty damn sweet right now, not arguing much with voices/myself etc, and yeh I get very confused from time to time but on the whole, things have improved greatly.

Again, I'm sorry I dissapeared but I just wasn't able to come on, even though I knew you guys and girls would have supported me with things.

Bye for now,
RatViper

 

[rabina]

hey Ratviper,

Good news to hear you found out the source of your voices.
How did you accomplish this major revelation; through yourself or with the help of a professional.
I think it would benefit some to know this if you care to share it.
I'm very happy for you; it must be a major relief and now you can accept that the voices were you're own thoughts.
Very interesting.
I wish you all the best and keep in touch as I believe it could help others also.

All the Best,
rabina

 

[RatViper]

Hiya Rabina

Yes it is a great relief indeed! I didn't know it would be though, I was scared to accept it. They way I realised was as follows -

The voices/experiences are part of me because they happen to me. Sure, they don't feel like they're me or sound like they're me and can say extremely horrible things. But....seeing as they know absolutely every single thing about me and are part of me as a whole, no matter how you look at it, then they have to be my own thoughts. They can't be anything else, they're just sides to me I don't necessarily like or want to think about, but not doing so just hurts. Therefore listen to what you're thinking about and take it with a pinch of salt, at the end of the day it's actions that can cause harm, not thoughts themselves, every one has nasty thoughts and stuff at times, but the majority aren't bothered about it. Sure you can argue we have been having them occur more often and other weird experiences too but the run of it is that if you deny yourself this is bound to happen!

Now, this was a very hard thing for me to accept and something I've denied for almost 20 years. But heh! Sure glad I have now Since accepting this fact things have been gelling together.

Hope this makes sense, feel free to ask away if you or anyone else has any questions, I'm all ears.

RatViper

 

[RatViper]

Hi again, I forgot to answer your question, it wasn't through a professional, it was just me deciding to face up to voices/myself

RatViper

 

[rabina]

RatViper,

Good to hear about your realization and that you can accept them as part of yourself.
You're not interested in how they manifest into voices that you don't recognize though? Not trying to stir things up here, but I believe this is a major hurdle for many to comprehend.

Now, there are different types of voice hearers as you know.
People hear voices for many different reasons; not all are from within themselves I believe as you may know.
Also, were your voices internal or external in nature as this also is a major obstacle for many who question and we all question.
Another question would be; were the voices male or female or both?

So, please come back and support ALL types of voice hearers when you can no matter where the voices may come from.
We all need support; this is very, very important.

Thank you for explaining.
rabina
SUPPORT: Support all types of voice hearers; this message is for all.

 

[RatViper]

Hi Rabina,

I know exactly what you mean and I'd like to rationalise it all out, I'm not there yet, I believe I will with time.

To keep you up to speed I've recently been transferred from one hospital to another. I've seen my new psychiatrist once so far, my next appointent is this Thursday, which is both exciting and foreboding at the same time as I'm as of last week, ready and able to start explaining/working things out with them.

I've been pondering about the manifestation of voices issue a bit earlier today, I'm not sure the why's and how's, I just know that at least for me it's been an end result of too much pressure, stress, emotional turmoil, etc. as I'm sure your familiar with. Now there's two major key events that happenened relatively close to each other - there's the new year's eve where I learned to abhor myself, which I was then unable to shut out later and panicked which led to even more stress and racing thoughts; and there's the summer where a commanding presence entered my head and ordered commands at me, which I was unable to resist.

I still don't know which occured first and I feel it is important to understand more of these times as these are when the manifestation of voices started.

My voices were/are the internal type, all male.

We'll definitely have to continue this discussion.

RatViper

 

[rabina]

hey viper,

I think you're over the biggest hurdle and that was to realize and accept the voices are from you and not coming from an external source therefore eliminating the "where" question.
Now, you deal with it slowly and at your own pace and you'll be fine.
I'm really interested in the mechanics of it all and really wish someone could explain how the voices manifest into unrecognizable voices in ones head.
I tried doing a little research on this and have found only a small amount of information on this part of it.


Well, I'm really happy for you and wish you good luck with all.
Stay Well and Keep in Touch,
rabina

 

[RatViper]

Hi Rabina,

Cheers Yeh I'm definitely over the major hurdle as you say, things will just come together from now on. I'd definitely like to be able to help others too.

I can well imagine there is little information on how they manifest and why they sound unrecognizable. I think it'd take a voice hearer to work that out, not a professional. Maybe a voice hearer who has been trained as a professional would have more chance?

Yeh I understand that this is an important subject, most definitely.

Here's a funny thing which may interest you, and quite understandable I'm sure you'd agree - I think as my voices as my own thoughts now as I've said, I also think of some of my thoughts as voices still. To me they're all one and the same now and thinking of voices is still valid to me.

RatViper

 

[RatViper]

Hi Rabina/everyone,

I've decided to lay my cards on the table, take a chance and say what I know.

Voices for me were the result of insanity. Yes, it is hard to define sanity and insanity but in the today's definable terms I was insane.

This happened in 1993.

Before then I was having a traumatic time on many levels. Further back I was just a child, a very sensitive child who looked at the world and took on it's pain.

Today I am now recovering from many different experiences/phenomenas, I reached a moment of clarity last week and everything is slotting into place.

I know this is not the case for, as far as I know the majority of voice hearers; as well as for many other people from all walks of life.

I'd like to help. I believe I am helping and need to help more.

Where shall we go from here?

RatViper

 

[rabina]

Perhaps you are or never were insane RatViper.

Where do we go from here?

Give support, information and hope to those who hear voices is a possiblity if you choose to.

You'll find your way; you've dealt with alot and should focus on yourself for awhile.
Being supportive in general is really important no matter what you decide.
You'll be fine wherever you decide to go.
The world is yours. : )



Stay Well,
rabina

 

[RatViper]

Hi Rabina,

Sanity is a funny thing, it can't be defined. I was only saying I went insane in the way most people think of it.

I've already set the ball rolling on getting involved in the running of a hearing voices group in Bury. I'm also inquiring into getting full training to run my own.

I feel like you missed something important I've been trying to say. Basically, the more I understand about my own experiences the more I'll be able to help others. I know when roughly my voices manifested and I also know what led up to this happening. What I don't know is how it is possible for this to happen in the first place, but simply put it is a trick of the mind and is personal to the individual. Also, voice hearers tend to build up complex belief systems.

I'm here to help, always have been.

How are you doing with things lass?

RatViper

 

[RatViper]

Hi Terri,

Good to hear from you again.

I've only just logged in so haven't been able to read your messages yet properly sorry. I will read them but I have trouble reading lengthy passages of text so will have to get back to you.

I just wanted to acknowledge you and say hi again first.

Take care lass
RatViper

 

[rabina]

Hi Rabina,

Sanity is a funny thing, it can't be defined. I was only saying I went insane in the way most people think of it.

I've already set the ball rolling on getting involved in the running of a hearing voices group in Bury. I'm also inquiring into getting full training to run my own.

I feel like you missed something important I've been trying to say. Basically, the more I understand about my own experiences the more I'll be able to help others. I know when roughly my voices manifested and I also know what led up to this happening. What I don't know is how it is possible for this to happen in the first place, but simply put it is a trick of the mind and is personal to the individual. Also, voice hearers tend to build up complex belief systems.

I'm here to help, always have been.

How are you doing with things lass?

RatViper

hey viper,

It's good to hear about getting involved in a voice hearing group and this will definitely give you great satisfaction and personal rewards.
I wish you all the luck in the world with it; i'm sure you'll be an inspiration to many.

I understand what you're saying about learning about your personal experiences completely.

Although my experience is very different from yours I still strongly believe in supporting those who hear voices no matter where they may be coming from.
Each experience is very different.

I also get what you're talking about when it comes to sanity.
Never really lose it; just feels that way.
you know what they say; if you think you went insane; you didn't and you're not......

I'm doing okay and thanks for asking.

take good care,
rabina

PS: Hello Terri......

 

[RatViper]

Hi Rabina, yeh involved in the Manchester hearing voices group too now, arranged to go to the Manc one this friday and chat to one of the good people who run it. Haven't heard anything at all back from the training place, I'll to just keep trying to contact them every so often, I should hope someone answers me one day lol.

In regards to the sanity/insanity stuff I agree with you on the whole, the thing is I only started questioning my 'sanity' *after* the period in my life which I refer to as 'insanity'. Or at least I think that's how it went, hard to remember clearly them periods in my life. I have a mental block on the majority of it you see, so it is hard to be certain what the hell was happening to be honest.

Take care,
RatViper

 

[rabina]

hey RatViper,
Don't worry about remembering.
Sometimes our minds need to forget certain parts of our lives although it is up to the person about pursuing it or not.
I'm sure you will hear back sooner or later; just don't give up on it as i'm sure you won't.

Good going on all,
rabina