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To the people on here who make me feel pathetic.

  • Thread starter strawberrywater
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strawberrywater

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Even on here now, I get rude replies from people who tell me I'm the problem.

I hope those people are happy because you made me feel like I shouldn't exist. Everyone - in real life and online - has made me feel like I'm a pathetic loser. I can't even find a safe space on a forum for mental health.

I hope I don't wake up tomorrow. Apparently the world would be much better without me in it. No matter where I go, I'm a pathetic person to everyone. I am crying because of how people treat me.

I cannot control my living situation - I don't have a job and I don't have money to go anywhere. Even if I had a job, I can't get one that makes enough to move out of my parent's apartment. I don't know why everyone else has a money tree in their backyard, that they can pluck money off of and do whatever they want.

My parents and I live in a tiny apartment that is very run down and old. My parents don't have money, they don't have savings or retirement. We live on one paycheck. We are borderline poor. The rest of the family disowned us. We're one paycheck from homelessness. Unless you have lived like this FOR YEARS, you don't understand the mental stress it puts on someone. I should have offed myself years ago because there isn't one normal person who could stand this stress for so long.

Just because I'm in the US does NOT mean I have ample opportunity and lots of money. I wish people would quit assuming that I'm some spoiled person who still lives at home. We are just about POOR. Most of the US is rural, which is usually low income. We are not all New York and Los Angeles. The US is NOTHING like you see in a movie. Unless you know what it's like to return basic every day items to Walmart because you need the money for something else - refrain from ever commenting on someone else's poor living situation. And don't tell me there's people with it worse than me. I know that. I'm not stupid. But that comment doesn't accomplish anything.

Thanks to the people who've commented and told me I'm to blame for everything. I assume that since literally everyone tells me I'm the problem, then I must be. I should not exist. I hate everything about the world and about life. I feel thrown away by society. No matter what I do, I cannot move forward, I have tried for YEARS, but every time, I am tossed away and tossed back to the same low end of the pole.

Everyone is so obsessed with being "right" and having some power trip over people. They all want to feel like they've won. Well guess what - you win. You made me feel so horrible about myself and my existence that I hope I don't wake up. You win. Now go on and live your life happy knowing that you ruined someone else's mental wellbeing.

This is about a few people, but MOST of the people on here are good. I don't understand why there's some who have been so nasty to me. If an admin wants to message me about this, I'd appreciate it. I'd like to talk about it.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Strawberrywater, you are one of my favourite people on here, and I'm sorry if people were assholes to you, you definitely don't deserve that in any way, and like you say, no one knows your situation and should not leap to conclusions. I've had a few "rows" myself on here, and I know it can be really demoralising and take you down when you're already feeling bad enough. Try if you can to block those people out (literally). I've just realised that the more helpful people on here, which is the majority of them, are the ones I'll listen to. But I know that even one comment can really shit on you when you're obviously feeling bad enough already.

Please hang in there and try if you can to let that stuff fall away. They don't know you, and if they are trying to put stuff on you, it's b/c they have a problem. You are important here, and there are TONS of people who support you and are understanding. I'm really sorry you had this happen, but please dismiss them, hit that "ignore" button, and keep contributing here.
 
albagobragh

albagobragh

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Hello @strawberrywater, some people find it difficult to walk in other people's shoes and I can see that many of your posts are borne out of sheer frustration with your situation. It sounds tough what you are going through but that doesn't mean you don't deserve or can achieve better. Keep posting your thoughts.
 
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strawberrywater

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Strawberrywater, you are one of my favourite people on here, and I'm sorry if people were assholes to you, you definitely don't deserve that in any way, and like you say, no one knows your situation and should not leap to conclusions. I've had a few "rows" myself on here, and I know it can be really demoralising and take you down when you're already feeling bad enough. Try if you can to block those people out (literally). I've just realised that the more helpful people on here, which is the majority of them, are the ones I'll listen to. But I know that even one comment can really shit on you when you're obviously feeling bad enough already.

Please hang in there and try if you can to let that stuff fall away. They don't know you, and if they are trying to put stuff on you, it's b/c they have a problem. You are important here, and there are TONS of people who support you and are understanding. I'm really sorry you had this happen, but please dismiss them, hit that "ignore" button, and keep contributing here.
Thank you so much for your support and you already made me feel a little better. You are completely right - most people on here are very understanding, but for some reason just ONE bad comment can be so impactful. I get frustrated with myself that I get so down over a single comment. I will block them.
 
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2Much2Feel

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Thank you so much for your support and you already made me feel a little better. You are completely right - most people on here are very understanding, but for some reason just ONE bad comment can be so impactful. I get frustrated with myself that I get so down over a single comment. I will block them.
Do. I feel so much for teens going through social media and stuff now. You can get like 30 supportive messages, then one comes along that can derail you. Just don't give them that much power. It really is on them. Glad you're feeling a bit better, I know it can be rough. Hugs to you, and hope it turns out to be a better day today:)
 
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strawberrywater

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Hello @strawberrywater, some people find it difficult to walk in other people's shoes and I can see that many of your posts are borne out of sheer frustration with your situation. It sounds tough what you are going through but that doesn't mean you don't deserve or can achieve better. Keep posting your thoughts.
Thank you. I know I complain A LOT but I feel like I can't help it. I also feel like a burden for complaining. I just don't have anyone in my life to talk to, and if I don't get it all out, I'll be even worse 😞 I write stories a lot, which I use as an outlet, and until I can afford counseling or therapy. I did counseling in college because it was free, and I actually really enjoyed it. Even if no one replies on here, it's totally ok, and I just like being able to get my thoughts out in a safe place. But I appreciate every kind reply, it means a lot even when someone just says "Oh yeah, I understand you" It makes me feel less alone
 
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2Much2Feel

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Yep. We all need to get it out, and a lot of us have no one to get it out to, so this helps. And if you're in a spot where you have to vent, then do so. I go through periods where I rage against everything, we're all used to posting about frustrations in life. So keep on truckin' here:)
 
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crazedandconfused

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Strawberrywater, I just now joined the forum and your story was the first story I read. I can't believe that someone could be so ignorant as to post such awful things to a person that is already down. They should be ashamed of themselves. I could feel the pain in your post. I don't know why someone would even join a depression forum unless they too were depressed, so why would they go to such lengths to make someone feel worse? I know how you feel because I feel the same way. Different situation, but same outcome: depression. It sucks. People that don't have it, don't or won't understand. I keep having medication changes and so far, it has only made things worse. I am on the verge of losing my job because I have missed so much work due to depression. My mom died in February and my depression got worse. I finally chose to talk to a shrink and hope that will help, but if I lose my job, I won't have insurance to go anymore and I am not sure how long I would survive with no medication. Don't let jerks with nothing better to do bring you down. We are here for you!
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Just a reminder that this is an open forum. Whenever anyone posts anything it is subject to comments from anyone who reads it and those comments can run the gamut. Everyone should expect
to be offended and insulted once in awhile
because people see things differently and people aren’t always going to see the same way as you do on any given topic. Usually people post because they are trying to be helpful so the appropriate response is to thank them for their time. You can get past this. You are strong and resilient and have the strong self knowledge to believe what you want to believe. and to leave the rest. xo, j
 
albagobragh

albagobragh

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Messages
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Thank you. I know I complain A LOT but I feel like I can't help it. I also feel like a burden for complaining. I just don't have anyone in my life to talk to, and if I don't get it all out, I'll be even worse 😞 I write stories a lot, which I use as an outlet, and until I can afford counseling or therapy. I did counseling in college because it was free, and I actually really enjoyed it. Even if no one replies on here, it's totally ok, and I just like being able to get my thoughts out in a safe place. But I appreciate every kind reply, it means a lot even when someone just says "Oh yeah, I understand you" It makes me feel less alone
Never feel like a burden for expressing your thoughts. I completely agree with you, better out than in.
 
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strawberrywater

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Strawberrywater, I just now joined the forum and your story was the first story I read. I can't believe that someone could be so ignorant as to post such awful things to a person that is already down. They should be ashamed of themselves. I could feel the pain in your post. I don't know why someone would even join a depression forum unless they too were depressed, so why would they go to such lengths to make someone feel worse? I know how you feel because I feel the same way. Different situation, but same outcome: depression. It sucks. People that don't have it, don't or won't understand. I keep having medication changes and so far, it has only made things worse. I am on the verge of losing my job because I have missed so much work due to depression. My mom died in February and my depression got worse. I finally chose to talk to a shrink and hope that will help, but if I lose my job, I won't have insurance to go anymore and I am not sure how long I would survive with no medication. Don't let jerks with nothing better to do bring you down. We are here for you!
Welcome to the forums! There are so many good people on here, but yes be warned you may encounter some replies that aren't helpful or understanding. I'm sorry to hear you're going through so much, but I also understand you. It's nice to know we're not alone. I am so sorry about your mom and about your job situation - that is all very stressful on top of depression. I truly hope you keep your head up and always keep trying to move forward. You deserve it🙂
 
Ozymandias

Ozymandias

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Strawberrywater - I'm actually afraid to be completely myself on here due to the attitude of certain users. My take on it is that the combination of a huge influx of members based in America, and the fact that us Brits invariably latch on to the shittiest aspects of US culture, has caused a certain attitude to permeate even a place like this. You say that you can't even find a 'safe space' on a forum for mental health... I hear you! Hell, you even find threads and comments on here that sneer at the concept of safe spaces and people who feel a need to have them...

I don't have a neat name for it, but I suspect people will know what I mean when I mention Ayn Rand-influenced libertarianism, and so-called 'rugged individualism'... the idea that everyone should be completely rational and self-dependent, and that all anyone who's struggling needs to do is 'try harder'. It strikes me as the flip side of the coin to the 'New Soviet Man'... the kind of mass social programming that was evil when Russians attempted it, but somehow perfectly fine for western countries to brainwash their citizens with. And it is brainwashing, because complete selfishness is just as much a perversion of human evolution as the complete selflessness that Marxist-Leninist regimes tried to implement.

Even a central aspect of contemporary mental health 'care' features this pernicious fusion of ideology and brainwashing; CBT always puts the blame on the patient, always finds a way to tell even abused people that they're 'wrong', and always tries to coerce recipients into believing that the solution to any and every mental health problem is greater 'self-reliance' and 'self-responsibility'.

Or maybe it's just coincidence that the way in which psychiatry - certainly that provided by state-funded healthcare - has come to echo the prevailing political dogma...?

Returning to the kind of attitude I delineated above though, trying to deal with such folk is made even more problematic by their tendency to lack empathy... indeed, go elsewhere on the forum and the 'usefulness' of this trait has been actively questioned, which is something I never thought I'd encounter in an environment like this. But then, in a society which has developed in such a way that empathy can actively hold people back from achieving what's defined as 'success', perhaps it is a valid question.

Reaganism/Thatcherism/Neoliberalism is sociopathy at a societal level... ergo, when the 'rightness' of this value system is propagandised in the way it is (i.e. through media and the education system) over the course of decades, of course you're going to end up with a population full of sociopaths.

And so here we are... so many people instinctively contemptuous of the vulnerable, the sensitive, those who fail to thrive in this environment of relentless social Darwinism. So many people with their egos sufficiently emboldened by the cult of individualism that, to their minds, 'different' intrisically equals 'lesser'. So many people at best unwilling, and at worst so emotionally stunted as to be unable, to conceptualise what life is like for anyone who isn't them or like them. So many people successfully programmed into taking the attitude of 'fuck everyone who isn't me or mine'.
 
Hello513

Hello513

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Even on here now, I get rude replies from people who tell me I'm the problem.

I hope those people are happy because you made me feel like I shouldn't exist. Everyone - in real life and online - has made me feel like I'm a pathetic loser. I can't even find a safe space on a forum for mental health.

I hope I don't wake up tomorrow. Apparently the world would be much better without me in it. No matter where I go, I'm a pathetic person to everyone. I am crying because of how people treat me.

I cannot control my living situation - I don't have a job and I don't have money to go anywhere. Even if I had a job, I can't get one that makes enough to move out of my parent's apartment. I don't know why everyone else has a money tree in their backyard, that they can pluck money off of and do whatever they want.

My parents and I live in a tiny apartment that is very run down and old. My parents don't have money, they don't have savings or retirement. We live on one paycheck. We are borderline poor. The rest of the family disowned us. We're one paycheck from homelessness. Unless you have lived like this FOR YEARS, you don't understand the mental stress it puts on someone. I should have offed myself years ago because there isn't one normal person who could stand this stress for so long.

Just because I'm in the US does NOT mean I have ample opportunity and lots of money. I wish people would quit assuming that I'm some spoiled person who still lives at home. We are just about POOR. Most of the US is rural, which is usually low income. We are not all New York and Los Angeles. The US is NOTHING like you see in a movie. Unless you know what it's like to return basic every day items to Walmart because you need the money for something else - refrain from ever commenting on someone else's poor living situation. And don't tell me there's people with it worse than me. I know that. I'm not stupid. But that comment doesn't accomplish anything.

Thanks to the people who've commented and told me I'm to blame for everything. I assume that since literally everyone tells me I'm the problem, then I must be. I should not exist. I hate everything about the world and about life. I feel thrown away by society. No matter what I do, I cannot move forward, I have tried for YEARS, but every time, I am tossed away and tossed back to the same low end of the pole.

Everyone is so obsessed with being "right" and having some power trip over people. They all want to feel like they've won. Well guess what - you win. You made me feel so horrible about myself and my existence that I hope I don't wake up. You win. Now go on and live your life happy knowing that you ruined someone else's mental wellbeing.

This is about a few people, but MOST of the people on here are good. I don't understand why there's some who have been so nasty to me. If an admin wants to message me about this, I'd appreciate it. I'd like to talk about it.

No one truly understands another's position entirely, and can therefore be dismissive of other people precisley because they think they understand, but do not.

I don't remember if I have done this to you in particular, but I know I have done it to other people on here and elsewhere. If I have I am sorry please stay with us

Lastly I cannot completely understand how you feel, but I do know how it feels to think you are completely written off by society my own issues caused me to feel this way. Rather than try to understand I had a tendency to lash out at time for that and other reasons. I am working on it because I know how much I hated when its done to me along with other things.

Sorry hope you soon find the love, caring support I truly believe you deserve.
 
Moonlight_Day

Moonlight_Day

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You can't let a few people upset you Strawberry. I could go into a long reply about how some people are this way or that way but I'll just say it's a mental health forum. I doubt there is a single person on here who is completely happy and satisfied with their life. Few people in the world are completely happy with their life and everyone struggles with something and usually that something is money. Even people who have flashy fancy things are often in debt.

Many people don't care about how much money you have or where you live or any of that. But there are those who do. Forget the ones that do, their time and opinion is not worth your concern or care.
 
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