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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

To Emski :)



Emski lol, I received your pm and I replied and tried to send it off to you, only having received a message back explaining my message was too long to send and that I needed to shorten it.
Well I can't be bothered with doing all that, it'll take sometime, so I've copied it and put it here instead. Pain in the arse as it's not private now, but never mind. If you want to reply, pm me.:)

Hi Emski,

Having spoken to my Care-co and Doctor yesterday, I'm feeling much calmer about the situation of these appeals (but healthwise, I know that I've hit another episode caused by all this stress), but I'm addressing it right now with all the med's again to stop it from escalating, which I believe I can do as I know these medications work for me.

I took some sleeping pills last night and managed about 5hrs which is much better. The more sleep deprived I am, the worse the episode will get, so sleeping with these pills should help prevent this from getting worse. I've increased the Quetiapine and am back on Depakote. My doc was really bit peed off with me, because I keep thinking I can go alone and stopping my med's thinking I know better, but anyway.. that part is sorted now, I've had my telling off.

I've just had another appointment with St Martins School this morning and yesterday to the school he has been placed in. I won't bore you with the information, but I am feeling alittle better about it all. At the end of the day, no matter what school he goes in, if he's interested in Art/Design he will excel in that anyway.
To be honest I have now seen some bad points about St Martins school, (which is the reason why I do feel much better about it all). The school is an extremely good school yes, and reports are high/outstanding, 13th best in the Country, excellent facilities, appearance etc. But, there is an extreme amount of pressure on the children to keep their reports as high as possible and they're even pushing the children more, they are very strict and it seems they work on this school like a business and the pupils are looked at second. Hard to explain, but after talking to my doctor she actually said that many of those school children end up in her surgery breaking down because of the extreme pressure. She said the other school that he is currently placed at, she has no pupils coming to her surgery regarding stress.
She also said that she would have no problem sending her children to Shenfield School, (the one he is placed at).
It has lower results than St Martins and is extremely run down, not so good facilities etc. But, really at the end of the day, isn't it about the childs happiness ? I just want my son to be happy and have the best opportunity in life, which is why I became so ill about the whole thing in the first place as St Martins specialise in Design, (my son wants to become a Designer).
But, he could become very unhappy at St Martins, because of the stress. He could also well become unhappy at his placed school because of different situations. I suppose it's all a bit of a gamble.

I'm now looking at things in different ways and am understanding that I haven't actually made such a big mistake after all. It really doesn't matter.

Anyway,.. I've managed to hand in the written appeal for St Martins, I just need to sort out some more additional documents. Then, all I have to do is wait.

I've already received information by the Appeal Panel for my 3rd school and I now need to concentrate in sorting extra additional information etc. I need to also write up further appeal info to support this case and send it asap.

I have my first hearing for this school on May 11th, then 2nd hearing May 25th.

I'm also stressed over mums wedding because I'm not well at the moment, but that's not until 20th May, so I have some time to try and get myself together.

I'm stressed over my brother too, he's unfortunately had a major breakdown throughout the last year and had been hospitalised too. He's being accused of something terrible that he didn't even do and he's currently going through the Crown Courts, this could go on for months. He's due to be in court again 22nd May. So, I'm trying to support him with that.

My dear dad is an absolute diamond, he's been helping both myself and bro. He's very special to me and is like a best friend. Although he hasn't been diagnosed, I believe he has Bipolar but has been diagnosed with depression at the mo. He's very understanding of peoples emotions because he's been through such a lot throughout his life, he's had past hospital admissions too. But, he's my rock.

Anyway, I feel a bit better about the appeals although I still have a lot to get through, but I am more relaxed about it.
At the moment my concentration is real bad, and I can't stop pacing, obsessing, crying outspurts, going to the loo :redface:. I can't seem to eat, I'm not hungry at all, though I have been trying to eat little bits like fruit and a bit of bread or something, just something you know?

It's hard having this illness and having a family and kids to look after too, because we don't really think about ourselves when we're ill, probably because there's just far too much to do, with getting the kids fed and watered and catering for everything else with their needs, like the clubs they go to, homework they need to get done, keeping them happy in every way and worrying about their safety. It's so stressful it's unbelivable. But, I obviously couldn't live without them, they're my world and are so precious to me.

Anyway, I'm going on a bit here and am probably boring you to death lol.

How are you getting on Emski ? I know you've been having such a difficult time yourself, life can be so hard sometimes can't it ?

How's your dad ?

Take things easy Emski and thanks again for being such a great friend here :hug:xx
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Well-known member
Jun 15, 2008
North West

You are brilliant. You have admitted you're not feeling well and have accepted going back on meds. You know lack of sleep perpetuates your episode so you have addressed that.

You have done everything in your power about your son's education - at the end of the day, wherever he goes he is a talented kid and will do well, and like you say do you want him to be overpressured at school? You just want him to be happy, do his best and enjoy those years, because they can be the best years of life. I'm sure whatever transpires it will work out just fine and for the best and he will be happy.

I'm totally with you on the wedding thing - my bro's is end of May and I just want my head back to some semblence of normailty by then - we will get there.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother, but knowing you as I do, you will give him all the support you can (just don't neglect yourself too much please). Your Dad sounds amazing - I am very glad you have him and he has you and you can all support each other. Close family bonds are very special and very important in times like these.

How you are feling at the moment and your symptoms - you're bound to be like this if you're having a mixed episode. But you have taken action in terms of meds to try and calm the symptoms, and you are at least getting some sleep and trying to eat something - these things can only get better. :)

You sound like a wonderful Mum, and I am in total admiration how you manage to do it all - you're truly very strong, much more than you credit yourself for. I don't have kids and am in total awe of how you do it! (y)

Not boring me at all! I've just put a little update on my journal. Am ok. Most days are hellish but I get the odd day where although I feel totally numb, I can function and get some things done. My Dad is doing alright - enjoying getting out in the sunshine :)

You take it easy too and thank you also for your great friendship :hug: