• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

To declare or not to declare, that is the question

G

Ginger Kitten

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That's worst case scenario though, Wishbone and, as I've said above, if I started to become unwell, I would disclose, but not otherwise. I am very unlikely to end up 'ranting and raving' or destroying things at work, as mania doesn't take me that way. I'm more likely to talk my head off and start cracking jokes, which might or might not be noticed by colleagues. But my last seriouis manic episode was at least five years ago anyway - by and large, medication and my own self-care tend to attenuate my symptoms. I feel I've got a measure of contr'ol over the illness, even if I expect it to crop up periodically.

Thank you for the info, CabbageMama, that's really helpful, as is the insight into your own situation at work.

Ramboghettouk, you said:

'i wouldn't trust a mental health worker or social worker to tell you the facts they talk with forked tongue'

As I've mentioned above, he is neither a mh worker or social worker, he is an employment advisor, with experience both within the NHS and in the outside world. His expertise is in working with those with mh issues, to support them at work or to return to work. It's obvious he knows his stuff. And I've got to say, I don't agree with your idea that 'mh workers and social workers... talk with forked tongue'; by and large, they are doing a difficult job and tryinig their best to help us. Neither of those are jobs I would fancy doing, tbh, but some people want to help and go into professions like that in order to do so.

I hope you are okay Ramboghettouk, you seem a bit down in some of your posts - I hope I'm wrong. Kind regards, GK.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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"If I started to become unwell I would disclose" - oh boy is that ever a vote of confidence in your own self! But what if one hits that does get past your mental guards and then you do do things that you haven't done before? I think it's risky, but it's your call.
 
G

Ginger Kitten

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Yes, I am confident in my ability to notice early warning signs, because I've done it so many times before. I don't tend to get extreme episodes, so I don't think I'm likely to be hit by a tsunami I haven't seen coming. Look, all I wanted was alternative opinions; I really don't need to be advised as to what I ought to do - I know myself better than anyone.
 
G

Ginger Kitten

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Oh, and 'oh boy is that ever a vote of confidence in your own self!' is a negative judgement and completely unhelpful. It is very close to an attack. Your opinion is a result of your own experience - please allow that my experience is very different, as is my opinion.

I said in my very first post that I was interested in the views of others, but that I was unlikely to change my own opinion. I am beginning to regret ever starting this thread, because I think it has brought up feelings for other people - not just yourself - that mean they cannot be objective. I shan't be replying again, because this thread is now making me feel like I am being criticised - and that is unacceptable.
 
C

CabbageMama

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I am really sorry you have felt criticised. I doubt that was anybody’s intention, but reading the thread again, I can see how you have felt uncomfortable with some of what has been said. I have said on here before that nobody knew I was unwell at work, there was at least a few comments that I wouldn’t have recognised it, as I was unwell, but everyone would have known. In retrospect, I really do not feel they did. I went off sick long after pretending to be normal started to damage me, but way before my work colleagues would have known anything was amiss. A whole life of putting a front on has stood me in good stead in keeping up appearances at least! 🤦‍♀️
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Oh, and 'oh boy is that ever a vote of confidence in your own self!' is a negative judgement and completely unhelpful.
Sorry you feel that way but that is not in the least bit how I meant to come across, I was actually trying to be helpful in second guessing you because I know we sometimes need to second guess ourselves, and we are definitely not the best judges even of our own condition when an episode lands on our laps.
I'm only trying to offer my own view and be helpful if at all possible, which is what I've done with your posts plenty in recent weeks (not just yours, lots of posts really, if there's anything I feel I can contribute to something someone has said I'll post but maybe I'm doing it too much, I don't know).
But I know it was only a few weeks ago that you were posting saying you couldn't stand having Bipolar and that you had a lot of fluctuations and were just returning to work. I may have written my posts out in a way that could be misinterpreted, I'll have to check after posting this, but I certainly didn't mean to do anything other than look out for you.
 
G

Ginger Kitten

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Sorry, Wishbone, I think I overreacted to your comment. I know you are helpful and supportive, I think I probably read something into the phrase 'oh boy is that ever a vote of confidence in your own self!' that was not intended: I saw it as a criticism. So maybe you're right and I am not yet quite back to stability. It's hard sometimes to know when you are. Ironically, I should probably have 'checked the facts' (more DBT techniques) to see if there was another way of reading that. It is very difficult to know exactly what someone means in the written word - easier to get a sense of that F2F.

And I will now take on board what you have said, because maybe other people can notice my emotional lability when I am not aware of it myself. My apologies for going off on one...

Thank you for your reply CabbageMama, I think I was getting oversensitive, as I've explained to Wishbone above. But they are quite right in reminding me that it was only a few weeks ago that I felt at the end of my tether with bipolar and felt like I couldn't stand it any more. The episode (if that's what it was, I don't want to keep labelling myself) only lasted 2 weeks, and I returned more to stability (lots of self-care/exercise and increased meds) just before I was due to return to work. Next time, the timing might not be so convenient. So I can see what Wishbone was getting at now. It's funny, I've been told by mh professionals that I have a lot of insight. It would seem from this thread that this is not always so.

So, to sum up, I may end up declaring my condition, just in case I do have an episode that impacts on my working life. Better to have declared and have support than not to declare and be left high and dry when unwell.

Thank you both for your contributions. With best wishes, GK.
 

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