Tired of working so hard to be barely okay

H

h.elena

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Nov 29, 2018
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6
Location
sao paulo, Brazil
I have to try so hard to function like a normal person and not everyday i can achieve that. It's so much work everyday to just be "okay", if that. I'm so tired. I can't imagine myself being effortlessly and genuinely happy, not even if I had everything in the world.
My mind feels like a neverending wave of negativity, always thinking specifically about the things I don't want to think about, and I have no control over it, the most I can do is ignore it sometimes, but it does what it wants, it's not me. :(

If anyone's got anything to share about this i'd apreciate it.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Jun 13, 2015
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Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Hi there. I know what you mean about the mind thinking stuff you don't want to think about. Sometimes I am able to meditate and after I do so the mind is much quieter.
 
N

nqptsd

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Jan 16, 2019
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I can empathize with your comments about the mind. It is the most frustrating part of the body, it’s totally out of control of its owner! You want it to focus on something and it will stray in some other direction. It does its own thing and we have no control over it.
Besides I have noticed that when I am working hard on a particular task, my mind starts thinking about all the negative events in my life.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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Dec 26, 2015
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basketville
the mind/thoughts is a bit like a horse that unless you bridle and steer it will go almost any direction.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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Dec 17, 2018
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California, US
I can relate. Some days when my symptoms are bad, it takes all of my energy just to maintain. A parade of negative thoughts marches through my head. I tried to push the thoughts away, to ignore them but that never worked very well for me. I found that using the thoughts and challenging them worked better.

Example of reframing a negative thought:
I am so stupid why can't I ever do anything right?
Like everybody, I make mistakes and sometimes I make bad decisions but overall, I'm competant and reliable and I dont have to be perfect.
 
P

purpleorchid

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Oct 11, 2017
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46
Know the feeling all too well. I used to have the worst headaches from trying to control my anxiety and depression and appearing 'normal' when all I wanted to do was hide away from everyone and cry. I had to give up working full time a couple years back because I was so exhausted and unwell trying to even do basic stuff. I now want to work full time again, but it has taken me years to even consider it, such the extent that my thoughts had over me.

Even now I'm still more inclined to see the negative side over the positive. My job interview got postponed and I got real upset and pee'd off about it until I realised its not that it's been cancelled and I still have a chance... But my mind just gets stressed out so quickly I don't think straight :(
 
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