Tired of this life!!!!!!!!!

L

Lukcy2019

Member
Joined
May 2, 2019
Messages
13
Location
UK
Hi

I've been on Mirtazapine for many years (on & off) and I finally managed to come out. However, I've been having sleeping issues and I don't have enough sleep. This is effecting my day to day life and I'm not able to concentrate on my job. Another issue I have is that I see a women on the way to work and I start thinking about her (deeply analysing) for the next hour or so until I see the next one and the process start again. This is rather painful as it make me think too much (thinking about her underwear, who she goes out with, how does she perform in bed,...…..). I know this is a mental illness and I don't want to take anti depressant again. I took 1 diazepam when I got hone tonight to relax and hopefully sleep. I know counselling would help but they're a bit pricy and I can't afford 20-30 sessions. I wish I could focus on my job and my family but unfortunately I focus on the shaved legs of women I see during a day. I'm thinking that I'm missing something if I don't look.
Any help would be highly appreciated!
 
Meet me in the dark

Meet me in the dark

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 17, 2019
Messages
109
Location
United States
Hi

I've been on Mirtazapine for many years (on & off) and I finally managed to come out. However, I've been having sleeping issues and I don't have enough sleep. This is effecting my day to day life and I'm not able to concentrate on my job. Another issue I have is that I see a women on the way to work and I start thinking about her (deeply analysing) for the next hour or so until I see the next one and the process start again. This is rather painful as it make me think too much (thinking about her underwear, who she goes out with, how does she perform in bed,...…..). I know this is a mental illness and I don't want to take anti depressant again. I took 1 diazepam when I got hone tonight to relax and hopefully sleep. I know counselling would help but they're a bit pricy and I can't afford 20-30 sessions. I wish I could focus on my job and my family but unfortunately I focus on the shaved legs of women I see during a day. I'm thinking that I'm missing something if I don't look.
Any help would be highly appreciated!
I don't have words to help you so please accept this cyber-hug :hug:
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,121
Location
London
ok let me talk about the anti depressants you are on i personally am against anti-depressant for me.
they do absolutely nothing but numb my mind, body, the soul also i get bouts of homicidal rage and want to commit suicide but cant most importantly cant feel no emotion or get a hard-on. you should consider an inpatient facility i know you don't want but if you truly value you're life and want to make the best of it try it what is 6 months if you want to kill yourself go to hospital get better
 
L

Lukcy2019

Member
Joined
May 2, 2019
Messages
13
Location
UK
ok let me talk about the anti depressants you are on i personally am against anti-depressant for me.
they do absolutely nothing but numb my mind, body, the soul also i get bouts of homicidal rage and want to commit suicide but cant most importantly cant feel no emotion or get a hard-on. you should consider an inpatient facility i know you don't want but if you truly value you're life and want to make the best of it try it what is 6 months if you want to kill yourself go to hospital get better
Hi sadpunchingbag
Many thanks for the kind reply. I have a wife and small kid and a job I very much love, so I don't think I be able to consider inpatient facility. My eating is not so bad but still struggling with sleep. It seems like I keep moving from one stage to another and getting closer to suicide. I'll try not to think about that kind of stuff. The stage I'm in at the moment is very painful. I've just been to the gym and had a very good workout, but at the same time looking at leggings and analysing each beautiful body which was rather painful and it didn't let me enjoy my gym. I'm home now and still thinking about 1 stunning body I saw in the gym and that was 3 hours ago. This is not normal and I'm sure is pure mental illness. Got vey bad headache!!!!!!!!
Many thanks
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,121
Location
London
Hi sadpunchingbag
Many thanks for the kind reply. I have a wife and small kid and a job I very much love, so I don't think I be able to consider inpatient facility. My eating is not so bad but still struggling with sleep. It seems like I keep moving from one stage to another and getting closer to suicide. I'll try not to think about that kind of stuff. The stage I'm in at the moment is very painful. I've just been to the gym and had a very good workout, but at the same time looking at leggings and analysing each beautiful body which was rather painful and it didn't let me enjoy my gym. I'm home now and still thinking about 1 stunning body I saw in the gym and that was 3 hours ago. This is not normal and I'm sure is pure mental illness. Got vey bad headache!!!!!!!!
Many thanks
You said closer to suicide that doesnt sound good would you rather be alive for your family but not be in a job or die then scare them for life ? Dont want to be blunt but the longer you hold off the worse it gets hope you can get better dude
 
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