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Tired of life

M

mikefro87

New member
Joined
Nov 26, 2009
Messages
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I feel so tired of attempting to live life, I just don't see the point. I just feel like what is the point to this we don't have a right to live we have to pay to exist in the world and for what to struggle on and eventually die anyway. Doesn't it just make more sense to end this and give up. I realise that I have been through some crap, like my ex who I was with for 3 years having an abortion although I have sought help for it but I feel that all that did was give a name to the child and now I know that Poppy could have been 18 month old now. I have been to the doctors and tried anti-depressants but felt very little difference. All it did was blank things which I know smoke weed to deal with.
Generally work is pretty good and I get paid well, Im not short of money or friends but possibly am short of happiness and love. But what if I get in a similar situation again it will ruin me I can't blame my ex for anything I gave her the choice proved things could have worked but Poppy wasn't to be and that slowly ruined us. I will never blame her and will always hold a place for her in my heart.
What do I do? Why bother with this it just not worth it. Nothing shows it as being worth it.
 
T

telemetry9

Guest
Hello Mike,

I can understand your thinking and there are times when life doesn't seem worth living. It's tiring as you say when you don't feel well and are struggling with depression.

This is also a difficult time of year for a lot of people with mental illness for a number of reasons.

I know what it's like to grieve for someone and have had a lot of heartache in my life although I would never say I've suffered more than anyone - as I know you wouldn't. It's sort of corny but my dad used to say to me: "there's always someone worse off than yourself." It actually helps me to think of that because no matter where we think we are in terms of pain and suffering there is always someone struggling with similar. Comparisons don't help but it is the thought that as human beings we share in the suffering that life sometimes brings and sometimes distributes unfairly. It helps me.

Don't think you're alone or that your life doesn't have purpose - because that is the trick of the illness - as I'm sure you know. We don't have perspective when we are depressed and in the midst of it. At those times (a lot of the time); my life might seem worthless - even though the evidence is there to show that I have people who love me and depend on me.

Everything changes and the way you feel right now will also change. It's a certainty. There are many people out there with depression who need to hear your experience and your unique knowledge of life and what you have been through. There are many people who could benefit from listening to the valuable lessons you have learned. Don't go it alone - try and find a depression support group in your town (depression alliance); there are meetings in most big towns and cities across the whole of Britain and NI. You can go there simply to listen and might be surprised to find other people who you might identify with.

The pain of numbness is horrible but you already know that weed won't help with that. It will only deepen the extent of your depression and that hollowness you feel but I can't judge you for taking it. My own drug is sleep I suppose because it is my escape button from the pain.

I hope you have a good G.P you can talk to and manage to talk about what is happening to you. You deserve to find another way and you have lots of options but your life is yours and no matter how flawed our lives may be - they belong to us. We have a right to live them and don't let depression take that way from you.

Robert.
 
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