Tired of home life

[catonwater32]

I am still living with my parents. I come from a culture where it's common, but honestly I don't have any 'relationship' with my parents. I hate my parents so much. The pain they've put me through is unparalleled by anything else except my chronic depression as a kid/teen and my current ocd.

SO many things have happened. But today after asking my mum to please stop with her passive-aggressive abuse (worded civilly) she then did what she always does after these convos and proceeds to harass me more. I put up with her body/fat-shaming me (thank you mood stabilisers), "You need to see a doctor. Are you pregnant? Is there an insect growing inside that belly?" Yea, whatever. Then nitpicking and b*ching about anything else wrong about me.

I just wish I could grow some wings and fly out of here.

Also, my bipolar is driving me nuts. I get obsessive when I am hypomanic and I can't stop it. Got off the helpline from the counsellor encouraging me to read into all the signs the universe was telling me. I wanted to take this volunteer role because it seems a small stepping stone to paid work, but I'm not sure because it seems pretty inspired by my hypomania.

 

[bpd2020]

It is truly awful to have to live with family who do not understand us. My heart goes out to you. If you are able to take the voluntary role then I would. It may be helpful to get out as you will have less time with your parents.

 

[Zaz2020]

It may help to see it like this. Parents who are abusive and put their children down are often just doing what their parents did to them and it's a vicious cycle. It's not an excuse but maybe a reason. And for sure people who abuse others are just reflecting their own suffering onto others. When people abuse me I try to look at them and say to myself I know you are suffering as I am and I feel a deep empathy towards you. I find this more beneficial rather than becoming engulfed in resentment or anger towards others. As for the vicious cycle trying to break it can be very stressful and often leads to the break down of families. All you can do is be strong and believe in yourself and do what you believe to be right for yourself and those nearest you.