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Tips to handle your Social Anxiety From Experience.

A

Abrilliantmind

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Oct 17, 2021
Messages
77
Location
London
**NOTE** I am not a qualified professional, I am just sharing what I did to handle my social anxiety.

1. First you need to figure out why you may have anxiety and when it might have become.

I witnessed my dad yelling at myself and my mum from a very young age, followed by years of verbal bullying through my years at Secondary school. Even people at college (ages 16 and 17) I was being laughed for whatever reason by some jerk.

So I know my anxiety started from as young as 5 or 6, and I know it's come from much verbal abuse and bullying.

*Tip* CBT Worksheets for anxiety work like this. And you can download plenty of Worksheets of the Internet for free.

2. Write down the negative labels people have put upon you and counter attack them with positive affirmations.

If one particular person consistently called you "A Loser" at school. Then write it down, and next to it. Write down "I am a Winner"
If someone called u "ugly". Then call yourself "Beautiful" . If someone called you "Stupid" then u call yourself "Intelligent".

To be in more depth you can write down. "I am NOT a loser, I am a winner".

This exercise is all about transforming your old beliefs. Because what you believe of yourself, you will project to the real world.

Once you have written enough of these negative labels down along with the positive Affirmations next to it. You don't need to keep writing it. But read it a couple of times a day for a good 3 weeks. I started to feel more confident after just one week to be fair, but you need to be consistent.

3. Positive affirmations through a mediation.

Once you feel more confident from the previous exercises. You can just focus on the positive affirmations. Positive Affirmations you can say to yourself anywhere. While your brushing your teeth, showering or even cooking the morning breakfast. It really helps boost your mood and can give you a boost for your day. Of course you can also sit down and meditate on positive mantras.

4. Taking action. Okay so once your belief system is sorted. Once you believe in yourself more, love yourself more and have more self compassion you can start to build your confidence even further through the outside world.

- Going to the gym will exceptionally boost your confidence if you don't already go. If you can learn to love yourself out of shape, imagine how you would feel in shape.

- Get those vitamins in. If you are going gym then a good balanced diet needs to be there anyway. The diet is 70% of your gym effort at the end of the day. Having your lean proteins and leafy greens as well as other fruits, vegetables, milk and all that good stuff can help stimulate your mind. You can also feel proud of yourself for looking after yourself. Use that perspective.

- This is where you join the 1%. Start saying hello, good morning/afternoon to people as you are out and about. If this feels like to much. First start with looking at people. Get comfortable with looking at people. People with Anxiety like myself will always avoid eye contact. So get comfortable looking at people for a couple of seconds as you notice them. Smiling at people would be the next step. Just smile, your causing no harm. Then get saying good morning/afternoon.

*Tip* HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS. Not everyone will respond and that's okay. It's nothing personal. It's not all about you if someone does not respond. They could be having a bad day, maybe they are mentally preparing for something, or maybe it's their own anxiety. Who knows, just don't think about it.

Also, even if people do respond it doesn't always need to turn into a conversation.

5. Don't be afraid to go back. If you get to exercise number 4 and you feel like your not doing well. Go back to the positive affirmations, go back to understanding your anxiety even more. Medidate to help you get out of your head. And that's another thing, stay out of your head as much as you can.

Conclusion.

So to help you understand a little bit of your anxiety.... Here are some scenarios.

Someone who has suffered from bullying at a young, young age. Will suffer from the Fear Of Confrontation. They will find it hard to stand up for themselves. Aside from what I listed above, this is where learning martial arts would come into play and be huge benefit.

Someone who got socially rejected in school by the other kids, they will suffer the Fear Of Rejection moving forward. This will impact your relationship building skills in the future with other students/colleagues.

It may even impact your dating. You may be afraid to ask a girl out due to the rejection in your life.

Some people even suffer from really nasty
rejetions. Like a guy may have asked a girl out in year 10, and she said no and told the whole school. And then he got laughed at. That's a real scenario that some men go through that can cause anxiety in the future when it comes to women and dating.

If you read this far, thank you. I really hope this helps!
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
7,183
Location
Canada
Certainly agree that looking after your physical health helps, with everything really.
 
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