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Tips on dealing with anger?

Scytaic

Scytaic

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2018
Messages
6
Location
Lincolnshire
Hi! I'd love to know what helps anyone cope/regulate their anger? I haven't tried much but the whole "taking deep breaths, listen to music" etc don't help enough, if at all. It seems a bit too shallow and doesn't help with the actual thought process. Thanks in advance!

Mini rant (can ignore if you want lol) :
I really feel like my BPD is ruining my relationship, mostly because I get so angry so easily. I feel like such an awful person but one trigger is when someone will do something stupid/thoughtless that could potentially cause a dangerous or embarresing outcome (e.g. thinking it's completely fine to leave something very embarresing lying around the house where others can find it) ESPECIALLY when they don't see a problem in it and it's happened before which resulted in a huge bordeline rage (you would think they would learn?)

Anyway that example is what I'm dealing with at the moment and thankfully it was 3am so I have time alone to attempt to calm down. We argue a lot but this is the first time I have a chance to try some coping/dealing strategies. I'm hoping to calm down before I sleep so by morning I'm able to deal with the situation calmly without any arguments or obvious bitterness. Any help would be massively appreciated. :) Also I'm very tired so sorry if something doesn't make sense lol.
 
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2019
Messages
141
Location
N/A
Hi and welcome to the MHF! Hopeful helping.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,874
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
 
P

Pairou

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 3, 2018
Messages
116
Location
United States
Welcome!

I would focus on meditation and breathing exercises to start, if anything. It helped me a lot.

The quickest breathing exercise I know of, my dad taught me to help with anxiety. You breathe in though our nose for five seconds, hold it, then exhale through your mouth for five seconds. Do that for a couple minutes. It really helps. Something about oxygen and the brain, I can't remember, sorry...
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
207
I find Intuniv helps a lot by modulating the adrenaline signal. Maybe you're thinking too much instead of having fun? When I overthink stuff I take nicotine 4mg with Intuniv. It helps me focus on stuff that matters, like being productive.

You don't think too much when you take this. I feel good all day and I don't think anything.
 
DMoo88

DMoo88

New member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Michigan, USA
When I went cold turkey on Lamictal (for the record: terrible idea) my anger was at the fore front of my emotions. The adrenaline was always so eager to rush through me. I felt strong and weak at the same time. I was able to restrain myself by remembering how much it hurt me to hurt others. Unfortunately, I did fall into some self destructive tendacies. Fortunately, I was able to improve. Exercise! Cardio / weight lifting / whatever gets you moving. The elliptical was great for dissipating my anger, endorphins really do help. Make sure you’ve eaten too. I almost flipped out at a woman at work and punched a hole in my computer sceeen because I hadn’t eaten in a day. Easing into a mood stabilizer while scary can help you regain some control over the bad sides that try to take over.
 
megirl

megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
7,203
Location
NZ
Hi and welcome
This is a great place of support x
Getting plenty of sleep is a start. Eating regularly does make a difference for many.
Are you getting any counselling or outside help.
Sometimes muscle relaxation exercises can help or listening to soft music.
Alcohol can work for the short term but long term it can be quite damaging
 
megirl

megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
7,203
Location
NZ
Probably for me talking therapy and learning about the disorder and my triggers was really helpful for me.
I think understanding why I behave and react in certain ways is really useful.
 
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