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Tips for people with social anxiety

Sammyjames97

Sammyjames97

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Nov 30, 2018
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walsall
Hello everyone. I've suffered with social anxiety for years and would like to give you guys some tips on this anxiety and how I've been able to cope.

My number one tip is try to think about where your anxiety is coming from. When i worked in a bar once I used to be so anxious about going. My anxiety came from the idea of failing at the task expected, such as not knowing where a drink is or how to make a cocktail. You have to try to think about why you are getting a fight or flight response from a situation that isn't life threatening, and then try to fight the anxious thoughts with thoughts like " whats the worst that can happen". Try saying to yourself "whats the WORST thing that could happen to me? In my case the worst thing that could happen was maybe not being able to serve someone. I told this to my therapist and she told me to explain that I'm new, apologise and say i can't serve them and to simply ask a more senior bartender to do it instead. Once I started questioning my anxiety and thinking about the worst thing that can happen I was able to overcome it with logic as to why I wasn't in danger and it went away.

My second tip i would say is to push yourself. Always push yourself and try to brave through your anxiety , Ive pushed myself to try and expand my comfort zone and guess what! My comfort zone got bigger and I started to feel less anxious about things.

Also remember that we all feel anxiety just at different levels. Your not alone in this.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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I've heard it's the perception of threat that activates the anxiety and a fight/flight/freeze reaction. Not feeling safe to be yourself really. We know it isn't logical. It's an emotional/psychological problem.
 
Sammyjames97

Sammyjames97

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 30, 2018
Messages
96
Location
walsall
I've heard it's the perception of threat that activates the anxiety and a fight/flight/freeze reaction. Not feeling safe to be yourself really. We know it isn't logical. It's an emotional/psychological problem.
Yeah once I felt i was getting anxious over failing, which we all do and realised I wasn't in danger I felt so much better
 
J

jjusa

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My anxiety is around not wanting people to know who I really am. Personality, likes/dislikes, temperament, hobbies, etc. if they knew who I really was they would reject, humiliate, bully, or not be interested in me. It’s really in social situations that I am in flight/fight/freeze. I’ve had to do that my whole life.
 
Sammyjames97

Sammyjames97

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 30, 2018
Messages
96
Location
walsall
My anxiety is around not wanting people to know who I really am. Personality, likes/dislikes, temperament, hobbies, etc. if they knew who I really was they would reject, humiliate, bully, or not be interested in me. It’s really in social situations that I am in flight/fight/freeze. I’ve had to do that my whole life.
Sorry to hear that. I can relate a bit as I think people would find me boring and stuff or think I'm a need but I don't have too much anxiety in this area. Il send my hopes you can cope better with it over time
 
jajingna

jajingna

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realised I wasn't in danger I felt so much better
This is useful I think. I'm gonna try to keep reassuring myself of this. I do some EFT tapping, loads of youtube videos for that, and during the tapping one can focus on whatever really, so phrases like "I'm safe" or "I'm OK as I am" can be used.. of course you can say whatever you like
 
W

WhatSarahSaid

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Apr 28, 2020
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New York
I agree totally with thinking of the worst thing that could happen. Because once you think of it, your level of fear can sometimes adjust accordingly, once you realize that it's not as bad as your feelings of it. But I'm not sure that works for everyone, because I don't think everyone's anxiety works the same way.

I think it's also very useful (for me personally anyway) to remember that things happen one step at a time, one moment at a time. Sometimes I find it very helpful to just go minute by minute, so I don't get overwhelmed by how monumental a task seems.
 
S

Shay94

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Apr 10, 2020
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Australia WA
Mine is more of pretty much being bullied/an outsider a little bit thru primary school but mostly high school, that's due to the fact I'm half aboriginal & most people there were racist etc. So I think that has made me feel socially anxious of meeting new people, getting hurt again emotionally, wondering if they're talking shit behind my back etc. I hate it as I don't have many friends nowadays, which lead me to depression and pretty much being stuck at home 24/7 except for when I'm at work. I'm grateful to have an amazing partner who supports me no matter what n has stuck with me thru hardest times ever
 
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