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Tips for making friends

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LaughingLeah

Guest
I am new here and decided that the thing I should work on is my social life. As of now, I don't have many friends, except for a few that I hardly ever hang out with in my class. It's difficult for me to keep friends because I guess I am too awkward and boring for people. It's been like this my whole life and I have bad social anxiety and I don't have good social skills. It's getting to a point in time where I am going to have to start being independent and start living my life. Another big thing is that I don't speak due to a condition that recently came upon me and it's very hard for me to be social. I tried learning sign language but it's just too hard and I don't have the resources for it. I really wanted to start my journey to making myself better here because I tried a lot of other stuff. I hope that I don't get disappointed like last time I went on a chat for people with mental illness and I wanted to chat with people who knew what it felt like to be this way but everyone ignored me and I didn't get a single reply on my comments for months. I tried using social media but I'm not like my age group. I'm not into all of that stuff like parties, drugs, alcohol, boys, girls, video games, sports. I'm more of a peaceful type who wants to be outdoors and go on adventures and explore. I don't like fashion at all and I am interested more in like history and spiritual stuff. I want to help animals and help keep our planet well. I love the paranormal too and I just love watching scary animated stories. That's the type of person I am. I also feel like I want to be someone's superhero or something like that. I want to help out others. If anyone reads this I would appreciate if you could share your story and maybe help me out with my situation. It would mean the world to me if you do. Thanks for taking the time getting to know me.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
3,997
Location
Nowhere
hi Leah you sound just great !

I would not assume everyone is into parties, sports etc as you listed
the people who seem confident
are confident in who they are and will have unique interests
all you have to do is accept yourself
and then others will accept you
and you can begin your search for the right friends
hopefully someone that likes outdoor adventures
and other stuff you are into

I used to go camping alot
but in recent years I did paragliding instead
I found courage I didnt know I had
when I started doing what I wanted

:grouphug:
 
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LaughingLeah

Guest
Thanks for the advice I appreciate it very much. I was thinking about trying to join a group locally in my area who likes being outdoors
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
564
Location
Plymouth
l have read it, & I'm sorry you're having a hard time, I really enjoyed being a teenager, my problems started in my 20's, something happened that people started noticing, that I was 'stuttering' when I was trying to talk, I didn't realise it at the time, but it was because of anxiety, if that's what's happening to you I wouldn't worry too much, because it can be overcome, deep breathing & intense rational & positive thinking, yes being outdoors is good, helps with breathing, fresh oxygen always helps clear the mind.
 
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LaughingLeah

Guest
Thank you for reading my post and caring. I'm sorry you had to go through tough times in your younger years and I hope you are doing great. For me the talking issue is like I freeze and I just become mute and I try to talk but I can't it started once I went into 9th grade and my teachers yelled at me for it and I had to quit my advanced placement classes.
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
564
Location
Plymouth
That's what happened to me, people started getting angry with me, & it just made it worse, it took me years to realise it was anxiety & nothing else, I think you have too, being outside doing things helped a lot, keeps you occupied, but more importantly it can help with breathing, because from what I've learned about anxiety, you need a fresh supply of oxygen in your mind for it to function well, & rationally, probably why the outdoor types are the healthiest. It does take effort though. & I have noticed over the last few years no-one mentions the fact that I stutter anymore, I don't do hiking or anything just a walk to the park for half & hour each day.
 
Inter Vivos

Inter Vivos

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
270
Location
UK
Hi Laughingleah,

Um, You seem to be a very interesting person. Sorry to be so direct, but are you deaf? I'm not deaf, though I did develop tinnitus, and then went on to cure myself of it!

You want my story.

I was born a blue baby (oxygen deprivation at birth) but thanks to the dear Indian doctor who attended my birth I was rushed away from my Mother and given oxygen through a mask. I've had many extraordinary experiences as I expect you have had too.

It's good to connect with you via the wa. wa. wa. (www).

Do you like plants?
 
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LaughingLeah

Guest
It's always good to have fresh air. That's what I do when I'm feeling down or scared and it has always been my escape. I do think it's just anxiety and I know that it's going to take time for me to be better but I know it's going to get better
 
Inter Vivos

Inter Vivos

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
270
Location
UK
That's very good that you believe you can overcome your anxiety. I 'lost' my anxiety too.
 
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LaughingLeah

Guest
Hi Laughingleah,

Um, You seem to be a very interesting person. Sorry to be so direct, but are you deaf? I'm not deaf, though I did develop tinnitus, and then went on to cure myself of it!

You want my story.

I was born a blue baby (oxygen deprivation at birth) but thanks to the dear Indian doctor who attended my birth I was rushed away from my Mother and given oxygen through a mask. I've had many extraordinary experiences as I expect you have had too.

It's good to connect with you via the wa. wa. wa. (www).

Do you like plants?
I'm not deaf, I was recently diagnosed with this thing called selective mutism but the doctors think I've had it since my early years and I could remember feeling unable to talk in certain situations. The doctor also said it's a very heightened form of it. And I do love plants.
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
564
Location
Plymouth
You have to remind yourself, you're not actually scared, you just feel scared, & it's only just a feeling, even though it can be horrible, it can & does get better believe me, when I found that out, it created some incredible positive thinking, sometimes with anxiety it makes you think positive thinking won't work, tries to drag you down with negativity, but intense positive thinking & energy works wonders.
 
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LaughingLeah

Guest
Thank you for the positivity and advice. And I'll remember that next time I feel scared that's it's just a feeling and it will get better. I like to think positively and also meditation helps me a lot too it assures me that everything will be alright
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
564
Location
Plymouth
The trouble is with anxiety, is that you're mind isn't clear, blocked up with all these thoughts, so I was 'stuttering' when trying to speak, because so worried about what the right thing/s to say. Oxygen to clear the mind of that & yes I do like plants too, nice plants in the local park helps relax, gives me good dreams as well, relaxing dreams of a nice area.
 
Inter Vivos

Inter Vivos

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
270
Location
UK
I'm not deaf, I was recently diagnosed with this thing called selective mutism but the doctors think I've had it since my early years and I could remember feeling unable to talk in certain situations. The doctor also said it's a very heightened form of it. And I do love plants.
That (the selective mutism), is highly interesting.

There we are, we'd get on with each other. I know we would.
 
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LaughingLeah

Guest
I would always feel worried about what to say too and I found a way to express what I want to say I text people and it helps me say things that I could never talk about. My favorite places to go are the beach and the parks because it's quiet and peaceful with so much beautiful nature. I dream a lot about the beach too and it makes me feel great like being in the water and feeling the fresh air is pure bliss
 
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