Tips for getting over annoying little things my OH does

PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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#1
So I love my fiancé so so much. He is amazing and he is so supportive (with most things I’ll elaborate in a bit), so kind, pretty much supports me financially and so much more. But there’s some things, like there will be with any person that really annoy me about him. And I don’t think he is doing any of these things to annoy me on purpose, but if I bring them up it leads to an argument usually, or at least a few snappy words.

1) He eats with his mouth open. He says this is due to a problem with his jaw and teeth and that he has had it for years. He says he eats when we’re in company he can do it, but it causes him agony. Now that’s ofc not normal and I’ve pushed him to go see what can be done about it, but he won’t. So part of me things it’s bulls**t. My anxiety gets set off by noises and someone eating food is one of them. And he SHOVELS his food into him and it genuinely sounds like a pig eating and makes me feel physically sick as well as anxious. Any ideas how I can get over this in case it really is sore for him to eat with his mouth closed?
(Yes he also talks with his mouth full and it sounds revolting, if I ask him to take a drink or at least clear his throat I’m in the wrong)

2) I am trying to eat better, not just to loose weight but because I know I need to, we both do. He says he supports me, but I’m sitting eating something small and healthy meals he’s sitting beside me eating a plate full of sausages, chips and more. I have IBS so have to watch what I eat as it is and haven’t lately. He also has stomach and bowel problems so should be eating much healthier than he does but won’t. I’m also pretty sure he has told the doctor that he eats reasonably healthy, which is why they can’t figure what is wrong with him, cuz they think he is eating a perfect diet when it’s vile! How can I approach him and make him see he needs to support me more by maybe not eating exactly what I am, but at least don’t sit beside me shovelling junk food into his mouth?!

Wow I just realised pretty much the only two things that annoy me about him are food based “/
But beyond these two things, he’s amazing and that’s me with so much love and respect, we have so much fun, he looks after me and so much more. These aren’t deal breakers so to speak, but thinking this is the rest of my life is still grim
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

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#2
He sounds good for you, and those two problems are maybe things that you can tackle in time , the diet thing I would maybe suggest a few small changes at a time?
X
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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#3
Thanks, yes asides from those things he is amazing I’m very lucky!
I’ve tried with the diet thing changing little things, like asking him to grill and oven things over frying and such. He changes for a while and then goes back to his old habits :(
The problem more is I usually end up going back to the same old habits too and put weight back on. I’ve fibro so it’s hard enough for me to make one meal, let alone two. He works late most days so I need to at least start his.

I’ve been doing so well, it’s been two weeks and I’ve lost 8lb! So I’m doing something right even without him eating the same as me?
 
H

Helena1

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#4
He needs a kick up the bum to go see someone about his teeth. you don't want to marry someone with an attitude that they would rather be lazy than sort out an issue that is causing you so much stress. Fair enough if there is nothing to done but he doesnt know that.

Do you cook for him, maybe you could do that more often and then he would be eating more similar to you.
 
H

Helena1

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#5
Tell him you are not running a restaurant, if he don't like what you are cooking he can make his own. i am sure most of the time he will be fine with what you are eating.
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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#6
We like very different things is the problem, I usually try making us the same thing but letting him sort himself out with chips whereas I will have vege. The amount of cooking I can do is very limited due to chronic pain and fatigue. It’s never bothered me that me before, he usually went on a diet with me. But this time for some reason he hasn’t.

I think he claims it’s his wisdom teeth and the last thing he wants is to have to get them cut out. I kinda understand as if it meant him missing work we can’t afford it as I’m on disability benefits, and fighting for another so I’ve very little money and certainly not enough to cover him needing to be off work for a few days.

As I said in the grand scheme of things it’s not the worst in the world compared to what others go through? But you know little things
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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#7
Ha, funny the difference a day makes. Singing his praises yesterday and now we’ve just spent over an hour arguing and I’m in tears, yay.....
 
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