Tips for getting out of bed

Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

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#1
Hey,

I am now at a point (yet again) where my daily routine contains of very irregular sleep, laying in bed awake, eating and having my whole body hurt because of the complete absence of any movement.

It is honestly very exhausting and stressful laying in bed all day, but getting up is just impossible. It's not only that I can't, but I also don't want to. I can't find any reason for it. And I am just all the time so incredibly tired, all my physical strength is long gone, and I never had any mental strength.

I am meant to get into a clinic since more than half a year now, I even managed to write multiple emails to my health insurance, but they completely ignore me, so what can I do?

I hate myself so much because I know this is a form of damaging my body I can never heal. And then again I really don't care because I don't plan on living anyway. There is just nothing on the horizon for me. I don't want a life and even if I would, there is just so much standing in the way which is just impossible to overcome.

I never had friends and my family which I am forced to live with makes everything much more difficult. I am completely alone and have to spend all energy I haven't even got on dealing with my family.

I can barely watch TV anymore, let alone reading books. I have no future and I don't know what to do. I have been very often at this point already and never found a solution, it can never get better.

I am sorry if I sound whiney. I know people hate self pity but it's everything I have.
 
Kerome

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#2
I’d say get up and go for a walk at least once a day. It’s not healthy to be indoors all day, you need Vitamin D which your skin manufactures from sunlight.
 
omouri

omouri

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#3
hey hello
personally i had quite experiences on this this late years and id be able to say that i can feel you and know what youre feeling, such a stucked feeling of being trapped in this daily issue that affects your way of living and even not being able to face the day just makes you being like NON EXISTENT in this world, it brings you out the aims of living the life you deserve and it keeps away all the happiness this day could bring to you

i mean that, im so sorry because i was at that moment in my life and i tried to change, and im sure youre doing it too with effort.

For me what worked the best is thinking in living and making the best breakfast im able to. also alcohol and weed may helpo too at least for me
just focus in one top and go for it just by leaving the bed, and making it like it were a daily basis in your life, achieving your goals doesnt sound like something wrong, isnt it?

kisses
 
burt tomato

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#4
My job gets me out of bed in the morning. It is a very effective motivator.

Life before work I would wake up pretty late most days. Then I would just potter about or amble to the day centre.
 
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natalie

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#5
I don't have depression. However, a couple of tips, I am always on call standby for volunteering after a good or reasonable night of sleep this is, and even if it means upon just shortly after waking around 4am, I shouldn't like to think, though that kept happening in recent weeks, I am able to get my fitness workouts done, to my fitness dvds, round about either at 5/5.30am onwards. For an hour and a half to allow for.
 
ScaredCat

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#6
So sorry you are feeling like this. For me I have a cat and a dog so even on the days when getting out of bed feels like a huge mountain to climb they are what gets me out of bed to feed them and most days I manage to go out for a walk because I know my dog wants to. Don't know if a pet would be possible for you?
 
Soul_Deeps

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#7
Thanks for your compassion guys.

I’d say get up and go for a walk at least once a day. It’s not healthy to be indoors all day, you need Vitamin D which your skin manufactures from sunlight.
Yea you are right, it's just not possible for me. Until a few weeks ago I atleast managed to use my bike every few days, but currently I am sleeping major parts of the day which is why I can't use it, even if I would have the energy.

hey hello
personally i had quite experiences on this this late years and id be able to say that i can feel you and know what youre feeling, such a stucked feeling of being trapped in this daily issue that affects your way of living and even not being able to face the day just makes you being like NON EXISTENT in this world, it brings you out the aims of living the life you deserve and it keeps away all the happiness this day could bring to you

i mean that, im so sorry because i was at that moment in my life and i tried to change, and im sure youre doing it too with effort.

For me what worked the best is thinking in living and making the best breakfast im able to. also alcohol and weed may helpo too at least for me
just focus in one top and go for it just by leaving the bed, and making it like it were a daily basis in your life, achieving your goals doesnt sound like something wrong, isnt it?

kisses
Yea, being non existant is a pretty good way to describe it. I could be eradicated in this just moment without any notable consequences for the timeline (if this was a Sci-Fi story).

The breakfast thing does sound good. I will try to go buy food tomorrow and keep this as a daily challenge. I just have to be careful because I am very prone to having a dysfunctional and damaging eating behaviour.

How are you by now?

My job gets me out of bed in the morning. It is a very effective motivator.

Life before work I would wake up pretty late most days. Then I would just potter about or amble to the day centre.
Yea I agree, but I don't have one. I went to univerities in the past but it's a way too heavy challenge to me at the moment. I really need a lot more therapy before I should attempt that again. It's also a heavy financial burden. But at some point, I guess I would like if it would be on my agenda again.

I don't have depression. However, a couple of tips, I am always on call standby for volunteering after a good or reasonable night of sleep this is, and even if it means upon just shortly after waking around 4am, I shouldn't like to think, though that kept happening in recent weeks, I am able to get my fitness workouts done, to my fitness dvds, round about either at 5/5.30am onwards. For an hour and a half to allow for.
What makes things really difficult is you feel mentally and physically so exhausted, your muscles just won't let you move. And if you try, the question "where is the point in doing this anyway" hammers into your head. Not to mention the extreme tiredness because of irregular sleep and not knowing when you even are awake and when you aren't
I am currently trying to get a proper sleep rhythm, so my body understands again when to sleep and when to be awake, but it's difficult.

So sorry you are feeling like this. For me I have a cat and a dog so even on the days when getting out of bed feels like a huge mountain to climb they are what gets me out of bed to feed them and most days I manage to go out for a walk because I know my dog wants to. Don't know if a pet would be possible for you?
Yea that is a very good reason. And I honestly love animals, we had a cat but it died last year :( The thing is, I wasn't responsible for feeding himj anyway, but he was very important to me and I really miss him. But it's not possible for me to get a pet myself. The problem is I need to have the ability to move and go whereever I want whenever I want, I know it sounds paradox considering my current situation but it is really important to me, and as I said earlier, at some point I believe I would like having going to a university at my agenda again. You just can't really move as easy and as much with pets, you can't really be away for a longer time like a day or something. It would also just not be possible financially.
 
Bizzarebitrary

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#8
Just one thing today.

I want to add my support and my voice to the others', I'm very sorry you are suffering. I've been where you are: complete absence of functionality. And I didn't care about myself because I felt less than worthless, I felt I was a burden using up space someone with purpose might occupy.

I learned a few techniques to help me get out of bed. I wonder if they might help you, too? Yes, medication can help reduce the severest symptoms that you suffer from - but for right now you can try this technique.

I call it, "just one thing, just one day." For example:

Tomorrow, when you wake up say to yourself, "I'm going to get out of bed because I need to use the bathroom. Then I'm going to clean myself in the shower or tub because I feel dirty - but that is all, I will return to bed after that."

After you've washed and dried yourself, ask yourself how you feel. Take a few moments to feel everything not just the strongest feelings, the little, tiny feelings, too.
If you feel maybe a little ok, tell yourself you will put on clothes and then see how you feel. And if you don't feel ok, you go right back to bed.

In one day, just try to do one thing. No need to worry what you'll do tomorrow, just one thing today.
Maybe it can be shower. Or collect mail. Or open mail.
You do just the one thing. After you do that one thing for yourself, come here and tell us what you did that day. And we'll read it. After you do that if you feel badly, then go back to bed.

To be functional is to do one thing and then do another after that and so on. But depression has a voice and it distorts our thinking. It tells us we cannot do ALL the things we need to. And the pain tells us we're unable to move. And the awful emptiness tells us we aren't worth it. These voices are so difficult to ignore, they are very loud.

So, we want to lend you our voices and maybe our voices can be louder, maybe not.

When you wake up tomorrow if you can remember, have this conversation with depression: "I want to do this one thing for myself. Why? Because I'm worth it. No you're not. Why? Because I matter. Nope. How do you matter?
My friends online, they think I matter, they care and although I don't think I matter, maybe tomorrow I might."
 
I

Ina01

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#9
This all sounds very familiar to me. Not being able to get up - punishing myself with stuffing my face.
What's helped me over the last years is the knowledge that it will get better. Sometimes those phases lasted days, sometimes months. I had a cat, so that helped get me out of bed. I've often said if it wasn't for the cat, I wouldn't be here any more. One thing every day - a very small thing - at a time can help.

I don't know whether you are on medication? I know that in Germany they are not so quick off the mark giving you pills (or at least they didn't use to be). I had excellent therapy when I lived there, but that's a few years ago. Over the years, I found that no medication would help me. I have (since last summer) started cutting out certain foods (anything known to cause/enhance inflammation) after reading about this, and it seems to have helped. I even read about people suffering from depression 100 years ago being helped from avoiding dairy, so it's nothing all that new. Might be worth trying. At least, having to think about what to eat gives you something to work on - and I always find that that helps me, too. The worst times were when I was out of a job to go to. (I've got another health problem at the moment which keeps me from the job - but nothing to do with depression. Doesn't help, though.)

Keep going - you are not alone.
 
Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

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#10
Thanks for your kind words.

@Bizzarebitrary: Yes, that's a very good advice. I really try this and even though I am not very successful, I atleast managed to go buy stuff two times the last days. :)
I also managed to go biking one time (and it's cold... so cold), obviously my front tyre tube got damaged so I have to replace it now before biking again :low: It puts quite the additional barrier infront of the next bike session but I hope for the best.
Then, I have an okay sleeping rhythm now, I go sleep a bit too early though, but I think it's good in case I have insomnia.
It's still literally impossible to be outside of bed for long, but I can now be multiple hours at my PC atleast. It's not exactly healthy either but better than being in bed.
I also figured if I am in bed anyway, I can atleast try to learn stuff on a theoretical level which is why I currently watch a lot of tutorial videos for artistic stuff I usually like to do.
Still feel very low overall and my weight kills me, I feel so fat and unhealthy and disgusting. I still eat too much so if I am not able to bike multiple times a week, I will actually gain weight again.

@Ina01:
I'm sorry that you can't go to your job currently, is it realistic to overcome that issue soon? I really envy you for the feeling to know it will get better. I just can't think that. Because so far, even though not a straight line, everything generally gets worse and worse.
I am currently not on medication. I was until a few months ago though. I was in a clinic end of 2017 and they insisted I should take meds. But they didn't help me, they just made everything more difficult, so eventually I stopped taking them.
Eating good food definitely helps - but it requires some work and money. I am always glad if I have the energy to cook, but it's very difficult, the last time was months ago.
 
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Ina01

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#11
It took me decades to get to the stage where I knew that it will always get better - don't give up yet.

My current health problem (overactive thyroid) is being exacerbated by the endless waiting times on the NHS. Not getting treated while waiting for a specialist appointment - and waiting for that for three months. Hey ho - it's what the UK is proud of (the NHS, I mean).

Cycling used to be one of my ways to cope with low moods. Or walking in the woods, and talking loudly to myself (fortunately not many people about).

If you can, my personal opinion is, stay away from medication if at all possible. I know they can save lives in extreme cases, but I had nothing but nasty side effects, which I am still struggling with several years after I weaned myself (very slowly) of the last ones I was given (Venlafaxine).

What helped me with controlling my diet (I'm obese, even now after losing a lot due to the thyroid problem) is following some sort oft exclusion diet. I know that generally it is considered better to "just eat less of everything", but it doesn't work for me. After reading that about inflammation being suspected to be behind a lot of depression that doesn't respond to medication, I started trying to exclude foods that are known to aggravate inflammation. I've mostly excluded wheat and dairy (also reduced alcohol and sugar immensely, and had cut out caffeine anyway). This kind of gives me a framework to plan my meals around, and overall makes it easier to restrict my food intake. As I say, it's my personal experience, I'm not trying to convince anybody that it is right for them, too. I think everybody has to find their own way.

Oh yes, I had no more bouts of depression after I started on this particular way of eating. My mood was very low over Christmas/New Year - but it always has been, and I couldn't resist a lot of the usual seasonal eating including lots of wheat and dairy... I'm back on track now, I hope.

All the best for you!
Ina
 
Bizzarebitrary

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#12
Thank you for updating us on your situation. Im glad the advice is helpful. To know that you have some functionality is good. It's very promising that your interest in art has led you to improve your knowledge and skills. What sorts of tutorials are you watching? It may not seem like it but you won't always be in the sunken place, interest in improving yourself is a promising sign.

Very sorry to hear your bicycle is not working. I hope it can be repaired soon.

Walking is my preferred form of exercise. I put on headphones and listen to a favorite podcast or some music. I like to listen to mental health or storytelling podcasts, it helps occupy my thoughts. The exercise helps my mood. I don't always set out with a destination in mind just a direction. I wonder if this might be an acceptable activity until you're able to ride your bike again.

You mentioned the medication wasn't helping you. Does your doctor know? It's appropriate to request that your prescription be changed to another med. Most of the time, finding a drug that reduces symptoms but is also tolerable can be a rather long process of trial and error. If you feel able to advocate for yourself I'd encourage you to renew seeking a drug treatment that relieves at least some of the symptoms.
 
Soul_Deeps

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#13
It took me decades to get to the stage where I knew that it will always get better - don't give up yet.
And it's really good that you eventually got there! I just don't think for me personally living more decades like this is worth it even if in the end it might be better. I know that sounds harsh, but I am already devastated right now (which has only been 10-15 years since I left childhood).

My current health problem (overactive thyroid) is being exacerbated by the endless waiting times on the NHS. Not getting treated while waiting for a specialist appointment - and waiting for that for three months. Hey ho - it's what the UK is proud of (the NHS, I mean).
I am very sorry. I don't know why it always tages ages to get to doctors. I hope you can get treated soon.

Cycling used to be one of my ways to cope with low moods. Or walking in the woods, and talking loudly to myself (fortunately not many people about).

If you can, my personal opinion is, stay away from medication if at all possible. I know they can save lives in extreme cases, but I had nothing but nasty side effects, which I am still struggling with several years after I weaned myself (very slowly) of the last ones I was given (Venlafaxine).
Yeah I agree, I won't take any meds anymore.

What helped me with controlling my diet (I'm obese, even now after losing a lot due to the thyroid problem) is following some sort oft exclusion diet. I know that generally it is considered better to "just eat less of everything", but it doesn't work for me. After reading that about inflammation being suspected to be behind a lot of depression that doesn't respond to medication, I started trying to exclude foods that are known to aggravate inflammation. I've mostly excluded wheat and dairy (also reduced alcohol and sugar immensely, and had cut out caffeine anyway). This kind of gives me a framework to plan my meals around, and overall makes it easier to restrict my food intake. As I say, it's my personal experience, I'm not trying to convince anybody that it is right for them, too. I think everybody has to find their own way.
I would probably go with a bit different diet, but it's definitely something that can have a huge effect. I would love eating in a certain way... I just can't find the energy to create that food :/ Not to mention ravenous appetites...

Oh yes, I had no more bouts of depression after I started on this particular way of eating. My mood was very low over Christmas/New Year - but it always has been, and I couldn't resist a lot of the usual seasonal eating including lots of wheat and dairy... I'm back on track now, I hope.
Christmas and New Year belong to the most difficult times in a year anyway. It is always so depressing.

All the best for you!
Ina
Thank you and for you too.

Thank you for updating us on your situation. Im glad the advice is helpful. To know that you have some functionality is good. It's very promising that your interest in art has led you to improve your knowledge and skills. What sorts of tutorials are you watching? It may not seem like it but you won't always be in the sunken place, interest in improving yourself is a promising sign.
It depends, it has been more about 3D Art, Modeling, Sculpting, Texturing and specific software stuff. But my main interest is more into painting. I can't really do practical stuff, but watching some videos is something. I really want to try to go to art school this year, just not sure if I have the energy to do the required painting needed for the application. It's so much work and I am already late. It's also looking good for another stationary therapy in the next months. Hopefully health insurance will agree to it. Because it is absolutely needed before I can even think about going to university again.

Very sorry to hear your bicycle is not working. I hope it can be repaired soon.

Walking is my preferred form of exercise. I put on headphones and listen to a favorite podcast or some music. I like to listen to mental health or storytelling podcasts, it helps occupy my thoughts. The exercise helps my mood. I don't always set out with a destination in mind just a direction. I wonder if this might be an acceptable activity until you're able to ride your bike again.
That is definitely an acceptable activity in theory. Just so hard to get up to do it. It sounds weird but go biking actually requires a lot less energy, because you are so much faster, you don't feel like you have to overcome long distances. But I really like going on long walks with music too. Atleast I think I do lol. I would really like to do that at some point at night. And is has been often on my mind already. I think it can help make your head free a bit.

My bike is repaired and I have already used it again. The problem currently is: I thought it would be a cool idea doing some social sports (play some ball sport with a group) and I found a local club to do so. I got injured very quick, it is hurting a lot since then. It was three weeks ago. I even visited the doctor and he said doing those sports at my current weight is not a good idea. That is very devastating and I don't know how much longer I will be injured. So I can't even go biking now. I feel like having so much bad luck. It was not easy going for that step to try an additional sport with other people, but I really liked it and now it is taken from me again.

You mentioned the medication wasn't helping you. Does your doctor know? It's appropriate to request that your prescription be changed to another med. Most of the time, finding a drug that reduces symptoms but is also tolerable can be a rather long process of trial and error. If you feel able to advocate for yourself I'd encourage you to renew seeking a drug treatment that relieves at least some of the symptoms.
Medication really has done more bad than good. Even if a med could help relieve some symptoms a bit, it is just not worth the downsides. I don't really have a doctor. I mean I have, but we don't have like regular appointments or so.
 
A

Alladyn1919

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#14
Maybe it is a good option for some depressives to stay away from currently available medication since new, probably better drugs are going to come to market so soon (eg esketamine , probably in May, various other not too long afterwards.
However adopting an iron rule, I will never take medication any more is, in my opinion a very bad idea.I know it from my own vast experience.Anyway, if not medication than some other effective therapy should be undertaken.
The trouble is that from what credible information I get, as well as from my own experience, major depression is highly unlikely to pass away on its own, at least not for long and not for ever.I don,t know about exact statistics but it is better not to rely on something like that.Major depression if untreated usually (maybe not always) gets worse.And it will start to impair various functions including,of course memory and speach.
For instance your English seem to be now very good, maybe native speakers notice that you are not native speaker, but I don't.It is highly likely that with non treated depression it will become broken and then even less than broken.And not just English but your native German as well.You will start to have difficulty in finding proper words in some situation, your problem will become obvvious to everybody.It is not a good thing to improve some condition but also prevent it from deteriorating.
By the way what medication you tried and what effect and side effects they produced?Were they really completely ineffective and that horrible so that you don't want to take them anymore?

Alladyn1919
 
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Alladyn1919

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#15
I would like to add something.Whatever your decision about treatment , some changes in your lifestile you can adopt might make matters substantially better.Ididn't read other advises in detail,maybe I'll repeat something.
Anyway, movement is an enemy of depression while immobility is its friend.It's kind of a vicious cycle.Depression makes you reluctant to mobility so you prefer to be immobile and that immobility makes depression worse (lack of endorfin release,something,I'm not sure,there is some science in that , not just experience).Break that vicious cycle at all cost.Force yourself to be in at least some significant movement as long as you can.Such an advice seem to be foolish since your very question is what to do to get out of bed.I 'm not sure what to do to want to be mobile.I would like just to stress importance of being mobile, how harmful it is in such a case of yours to be immobile.I remember that I felt and acted like you in that respect when I was on completely ineffective medication.Never, or at least to much lesser extend on medication which was even slightly but significantly effective.Other symptoms were not much resolved but that symptom was.Medication resolved that symptom, I don't know how to resolve it by other means.Maybe others know better, if so, try to follow their advices.Maybe my stressing of importance of such issue in depression would be of some help.It's not just that by immobility you fail to do something useful, neglecting something, etc.You should be aware also that by immobility you make your depression (maybe even much) worse.
The other formidable natural enemy of depression is daylight.It is a fact little known and little appreciated by depressives.But it's true.It's backed by experience and by science.Depressive are often unaware of that (till they are told), because, among other , daylight healing action usually work with some (sometimes considerable delay).Expose your eyes to daylight as much as you can (avoiding of course direct sunlight or too intense sunlight).Stay outside during the day as much as you can,. if you have to be inside stay close to window with some daylight coming through it.It doesn't have to be intense daylight to have healing properties.Probably the more intense (up to some limit) the better but even some substantial daylight can make a difference.Consider installing and using SAD light in your house.Some food,some vitamins can also make some difference but I don't know much about it,maybe others know better.I'm sure b complex is working for depression.Maybe not that significantly but at least slightly effective it is .I'm absolutely sure about that.

Alladyn1919
 
Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

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#16
Yea, I really don't like meds and I won't try them anymore. I was using the SSRI Escitalopram. You are right when you say depressions don't go away by themselves, but it's difficult finding incentives to overcome it if you struggle finding reasons to live for. However, I will go to another stationary therapy in the next months (considering my health insurance is paying) and I also want to go to university at the end of the year, I just don't think I will be able to.

Concentration, memory, ability to speak... Yep, all of that is suffering a lot already.

I am a fan of sports, I do some, but I am limited currently in what I can do as I explained earlier. I definitely agree on the sunlight part, it is a bit better since it's not dark and rainy all day anymore.
 
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Alladyn1919

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#17
I’d say get up and go for a walk at least once a day. It’s not healthy to be indoors all day, you need Vitamin D which your skin manufactures from sunlight.
I would like to underline once again the very important issue of daylight in depression with my broken English .It is not about vit d It is about eyes receptors exposure to daylight or light of similar temperature,colour(?), something.
There is even need for sun on the sky.Sunless daylight of some intensity will do.
You are wasting enormous opportunity of improving your mental health because of ignorance.

Alladyn1919.
 
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Alladyn1919

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#18
I would like to underline once again the very important issue of daylight in depression with my broken English .It is not about vit d It is about eyes receptors exposure to daylight or light of similar temperature,colour(?), something.
There is even need for sun on the sky.Sunless daylight of some intensity will do.
You are wasting enormous opportunity of improving your mental health because of ignorance.

Alladyn1919.
Sorry.In the sentence "there is even need for sun..." it should be "there is even no need...", of course.
 

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