- Apr 14, 2019
I was having these obsessive thoughts about wanting to do npc bikini competitions (bodybuilding). I liked the idea of goal setting. But what made me decide not to was the fact that my boyfriend didn’t feel comfortable with me doing it. He told me in the beginning of our relationship that if I want to do it go for it, but he can’t be with me and watch me do that to myself. So, in that moment realized that my boyfriend is the person who I want in my life to marry and be my other half forever. I care more about him than anything. I will choose to not do the competing because I want to be with my boyfriend. He matters to me more than the competition. I know with love people sometimes people have to make rash decisions. Because I realized how much my boyfriend truly means to me and how he’s worth more to me. But I keep having bad thoughts about second guessing myself, and I keep having the compulsion to want to do the competing. I have OCD and ROCD. I don’t want to loose my boyfriend, I love him so much and he’s always my number one. I just need some validation about all of this. Any thoughts?