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Thoughts these days



Sep 21, 2020
I replied someone the post that I am going to paste below this. I thought I should make a new thread to share what's going on these days.

Every single day is a roller coaster. Currently, I am taking Quetiapine (Seroquel) 100mg at night, Mirtazpine (Remeron) 45mg at night and Clonazepam 0.25mg when needed.
But most of the time I avoid taking Clonazepam because I feel bad for taking so many medicines, I feel a sense of dependence.

Recently, I am not getting a night of good sleep. My doctor gave me a medicine to sleep. I tried taking that medicine but it gives metallic and bitter taste in the mouth throughout the day. So, I stopped taking that one and next week maybe he will give me another one to sleep.

I am not exactly suicidal but I have thoughts of suicide. Like how everyone around me would react if I am no more. These days I hurt myself a lot, I get angry and I start smashing things or harm myself. It is way out for me from my sadness and loneliness.

With this therapist, I guess it's been a year now. I am improving but the problem with BPD is it takes a hell lot of time to see improvements.

Last month, my therapist and I started working on this book called "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook" by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey Brantley and Jeffrey C. Wood.

I am learning new coping strategies, how to control emotions and how to deal with anger, what alternatives I can use without getting seriously injured or hurt. (Like holding ice cubes)
Apart from DBT, I don't know what techniques my therapist has used till now.

If you are in Canada you can use an app called MY SSP.
This app is available 24/7, you can chat or call with counsellors whenever you are feeling low.

Hope you have a good weekend and a night of good sleep.


Well-known member
Sep 28, 2020
Good you are seeing a therapist yes takes lots of time and working at it.