Thoughts of murder! Help! *Trigger warning*

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ThomasWolfgang64

New member
Joined
Feb 19, 2017
Messages
1
#1
A few weeks ago i had a dream about killing my best friends rapist in various different ways. Now i keep having dreams and fantasies of what it would be like to kill someone. I know it is wrong and i dont want to act upon my thoughts but i am scared that these thoughts could progress into future actions. The ways i kill people in the dreams are terrible and make me sick to my stomach thinking about them. i talked with my therapist about it briefly but i am too scared of being put in a hospital if i explain the dreams in detail. i dont know what to do about these dreams. please help!
 
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Georgia May

Guest
#2
I don't know if that would come under intrusive thoughts or not. I was thinking it could be OCD but when you said you fantasise about it I don't know. The thoughts would repel you so much it would never get round to fantasising I think. I might be wrong though.

I don't think they would put you in hospital if you have no intention of carrying the thoughts out. If everyone who thought like that was hospitalised the places would be creaking at the seams. You find the thoughts repulsive. I don't understand why you would fantasise about something you found repulsive though, maybe you used the wrong terminology or it's just the way I think. I can tell it's a problem anyhow so I think you should talk about it more. Talking about it might stop the dreams because you wouldn't be suppressing the thoughts and might understand why you have them better if a therapist explains it to you.

Worrying about it will make it worse so don't. They are just dreams and most dreams never happen in real life and certainly not literally. I think they are more metaphorical. If you can understand that they won't worry you that much.

Best wishes. :hug5:
 
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George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
257
#3
This is very long but please read through and hear me out

I've had many different forms of depression, anxiety, ocd, eating disorder and addiction and one field of anxiety I'm experienced in is intrusive thoughts. When I was 15 yrs old I developed some serious anxiety that resulted in months and months, leading to years of anxiety, panic attacks, and intrusive thoughts. I used to think the same way except a little differently. I don't know why but I used to think that doing something would result in so and so's death, or not doing something, etc, so I had to do these rituals that became torment. I used to also think that if I didn't or did do what was 'required' me of these thoughts that I could die too or that something terrible would happen to me. I missed sleep, missed meals and was basically half crazy six months after it started.

We went to a special doctor who specializes in communicating with your body and what it needs, very cool profession. I was diagnosed with extremely high copper levels. I think the reading was something like 500iu over the normal 40-50 iu blood level. I'm not sure the precise #'s but it was incredibly high and that was what was causing this chaos, basically copper poisoning.

I was also too scared to talk to people about my deepest fears. I used to think I was a bad person, a psychopath. I had thoughts of my parents death and would feel so afraid I'd accidentally find it funny that I'd laugh out of fear and thought I was laughing at it. Now I understand so much more and I've completely overcome all those anxieties and live a much more peaceful normal life, for the most part. Still have problems. Life's never perfect. It is completely normal to have thoughts like that and you might want to go see your doctor if the symptoms worsen because you might have something medically going on. It got to a point even where everything tasted like copper, smelled, and even food I ate tasted highly like copper. It was disgusting. Sorry this is long and I hope I helped.