• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Thoughts I’m having today

K

KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
104
Location
Texas
I’ve been questioning, how I got to this point in my life. Why I think the way I do? Why when I am overwhelmed and stressed I can’t think? Why have I put others happiness above my own? Why can’t I ask for help? Why do I feel everyone is more important than myself? Is trauma the reason why I have anxiety and panic?
Sometimes I wonder if I have an adrenaline/nervous system problem, is there such a thing? I have the feeling of pins and needles all over my body. I feel rush, like a wave come over me. I am sensitive to light, loud noise, ringing in my ears...
Since I do have anxiety I may never know if what I am feeling is anxiety or a medical condition. I feel lost at times. What is normal and what isn’t? When anxiety or depression is brought up with a doctor it’s like it’s the easy answer to all symptoms you have. I feel like it’s a no win situation.
It can be lonely and exhausting to deal with theses issues every day. I first came on this forum because I didn’t have anywhere to turn. I’ve pretty much destroyed my friendships by isolating myself. They are not as close anymore and to come to the realization that it was because of me not letting anyone in.
I needed to get all my thoughts and feelings out today. It helps to get some feed back from others that are experiencing the same things.
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,067
Location
Lancashire
Hiya. Anxiety is not given the same status as other MH conditions by doctors, but it can be crippling. I would suggest that you put others first and then isolate yourself because you were taught this by someone in your past. I know that I have huge problems putting my own needs first and my father was so strict with us as children that I was told I was selfish all the time so I never think about my needs now. I have overcome this very slowly over time but its still a struggle.
 
K

KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
104
Location
Texas
I know that it came from my childhood. My mother was abusive. I learned not to ask for anything and would feel bad if I did anything for myself. I’ve always had a lot of guilt if I put myself first. It’s not easy when you have people in your life who depend on you. I’ve been pushing myself so much over the years that I have completely broken down. Life is just not the same anymore. When I was younger I was very independent because I had to be. I am not the same anymore and have lost all the hopes and dreams I once had. I have too much anxiety to even leave my home. Some days I miss being out in the world but the panic is paralyzing. I miss friends, going out to eat, going for a walk or to the park. The panic attacks took all of it away. I can’t even go to the doctors office now. I miss who I was before it got so bad. I miss being happy about life and having things to look forward too. I don’t know how to get help for this anymore. Sorry for the long post. I never dream it could get this bad.
 
Top