Thoughts about suicide

[bluebell24]

I don't feel overwhelmingly depressed at the moment, nor suicidal. However some things I think about do make me sad and with that feeling come images in my head; me with a rope around my neck. I can almost feel it against my skin.

I don't at all like these ideas just spilling into my consciousness. Could it be I'm not as well as I like to think I am?

 

[iamsuspended]

Not sure this will really help that much but I get the same thing occasionally. It started happening about a year and a half ago and would happen maybe 3 - 4 times a week at its height.

Although now tends to be a lot less often happened yesterday although that was first time for about a month.

I get a really vivid image of myself but with something bad happening.


I don't think it is a particularly good sign but it depends on how often it is happening? can you think of anything that could be triggering it so you can maybe stop it taking hold.

Also have you been depressed at all much in the past and if these thoughts happened around the same time as depression in the past?


Hope this is of some help

 

[bluebell24]

Hey there,

I've had these unwanted imaginations before, but they came at either end of a severe depressive episode, well a few episodes actually but I'm thinking more recently. The bit in between was basically the hell of keeping myself in one piece ... alive and out of hospital ... at the time I thought I'd be better off dead than in hospital but that just goes to show the crazy thought process at times ; )

The thoughts to come about when I'm otherwise preoccupied with a bad situation that came about as a result of lots of bad behaviour, which I've harped on about on this forum FAR too much so for the sake of others I'll skip that detail, go seek and you shall find if curiosity gets the better of you ; )

I guess I worry that the thoughts mean I'm not doing quite as well as I'd like to be, or that they are a precursor to bad times. Really hope not but I know it's not always an upward trajectory to recovery.

Goddamn!

 

[TOONAFISH]

hi bluebell, hope you are doing ok. when i was in hospital i often got these images. at the time i didn't want to do anything but thoughts like that just kept popping into my head. i think it is def a sign of low mood but not unmanagable. do you have any antipsycotic meds? or risperidone etc

hope you manage to get a good rest tonite

 

[bluebell24]

Hi toonafish,

the weird thing is I feel okay, really okay. Well not really okay in a manic way but good - beginning to feel more at home with myself and being a bit more outgoing than I have in an age ... like I just realised it's okay to be fun and have fun without that being a bad thing!

I am in limbo as far as medical help goes ... living Mon-Fri at one end of the country while still having my doctor at the other. I came off anti-depressants pre-Christmas so now I'm just taking a mood stabiliser. I don't really understand where anti-psychotics come into it though - when I was at my worst my GP was woefully unhelpful and it took all the energy I had to get a referral. And my pdoc just told me I should believe in God if I seriously wanted to get better! No disrespect intended to any believers here but I'm an atheist at the core and that thoroughly put me off seeing psychiatrists ever again!

I know you can't give a 'professional' answer but from your experience could you tell me when/why anti-psychotics have been appropriate?

Bx

 

[TOONAFISH]

i got prescribed anti psycotics for horrible thoughts at nite time ages ago, and i was advised to take the same ones when i was suicidal. i then got risperidone as an anti manic and when i was having unwanted thoughts killing myself/ others a month ago they told me to take extra risperidone which is an anti psycotic

hope to help

 

[intelgal]

Hmm sounds like an unhelpful p doc



I too have images in my head around the subject of killing myself and they are even there now I am no longer depressed.


The best way I have found to deal with them is to see them as thoughts.

The thoughts we have are not always real and particuarly when depressed can become skewed or distorted.

Just because you have these images does not mean you are necessarily psychotic.

I view mines as clouds and try to just let them pass by, acknowledge them but then let them go and this may take a lot of practice but it does work. Try and have a bank of distractions things you can occupy yourself with.. could you ring a friend... read.. put your computer... just something you can focus on to distract your mind.

Take care

Intel

 

[bluebell24]

Thanks all, these thoughts are fleeting and perhaps in my desperation to get better I place to much importance on them meaning anything. Maybe just a residue of the depression I've experienced.

Will keep on keeping on and trying to focus on the good stuff!