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Thought id start by introducing myself hi

M

MrsOwen

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2018
Messages
2
Hi im rosie. Ive been struggling for years with what ever i have. Ive always put it down to depression and anxiety but im thinking its worse than that. Im 24 and married with a child of my own and two step kids. Its hard. I met my husband in 2015 and it was just him me and my daughter then beginning of this year his two children had to move in with us in our two bed house because their mother couldn’t look after them neglected them and put them in danger of a paedophile who was her step father. It got to much for me and i left to stay with family because he had no where to go While i was waiting for him to move out. We were still in contact. I was doing alot of self harming and alot of drinking when we split up. Andi began taking over doses. With drinking alcohol. I got my self in some messes. I felt i couldnt function without him. Anyway he had his own property then we got back together in roughly two months after. I then found out he stayed over his ex wifes house the one who neglected his children and all that but if that wasnt enough he lied to me repeatedly about having a relationship with her. His youngest son told me that shed been staying over his property. And then he told me after we got married that he had a relationship with her and had sex but we got back together in this time that he was having relations with her. And that ruined me it still does now. We got married in july and i get really bad days that the thoughts come flooding my head about them and that he doesnt love me and things like that. I feel like our life has been turned upside down. Im sad everyday i cant cope with every day things. I feel pathetic just saying all this. Its got to a point that today ive ripped Christmas cards up that he got me because he writes the same thing he used to write to her in cards and letters. I get up in the morning and i can be fine and i can just flip. I dont know what it is but its not fair. Im stuck with all this and i dont know how to react to all this. I cry all the time for no reason. I went through a lot growing up my parents split up when i was 8 my mam took me and my brother to a refuge to keep us safe my dad phoned up and pretended he was someone else and said that my dad had died and that we needed to get back. I spent one week in mu dads then the following week in my mams and it was like that everyweek. My dad used to make me sleep in his bed till i was 15 giving me alcohol from the age of 11. I had to lie to his parents for years that he wasnt smoking and drinking and that he was sending us to bed at 8 pm knowing that he was sending us to bed at midnight or later knowing we had school the next day. I really dont know whats causing me to be the way i am but i hate it. I get really angry mainly towards my husband and ive always been the same before his kids and ex come into it. Im self harming all the time and taking overdoses my husband found me in a freezing cold bath unconscious a few weeks ago. Theres not one day that goes by that i dont think about killing my self. Im sorry if its to much but i cant deal with all this and i cant cope with my feelings. I have no idea what to do ive got nobody to talk to.. i feel stuck. Please no judging
 
Hopefuloldie

Hopefuloldie

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 30, 2018
Messages
157
Location
UK
Hi - I'm new too. Hope that you find it helpful here x
 
Deadheading

Deadheading

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
152
Z

ziedite

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Messages
302
Location
UK
Oh Rosie... you are so brave and courageous to post what you did. That took at lot of chutzpah, so be proud of yourself. So now... we can't really give advice per se, as most of us aren't experts, nor do we live and breathe your situation. But I think you need to deal with yourself and your own feelings first... as you won't have the strength to deal with your child and step children. Have you seen a GP and explained the situation to them to find out what support is available - meds, therapy, both? Secondly, what about contacting Relate to see about couples counselling just to help you and hubby get through this difficult time. I know is sounds trite to say Stay strong... but try a little to ask for help and see what happens. We will be here in forum for practical and emotional help. Take care.
 
M

MrsOwen

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2018
Messages
2
Thank you. I have been back and forth the doctors numerous time i am waiting to see psychiatrist in the end of January but thats the best i got. Ive been on different antidepressants but its safe to say they dont work. I just got to wait. Me and my husband are getting there im just trying my best to put everything to the back of my mind. At the end of the day i love him with all i got and id never leave him or be without him. I just keeping thinking every thing will go in time.
 
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